General Books

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It

Patricia Love, Steven Stosny

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 40 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

Men are right. The “relationship talk” does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and
Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness:

Love is not about better communication.
It's about connection.

You'll never get a closer relationship
with your man by talking to him like you
talk to one of your girlfriends.

Male emotions are like women's sexuality:
you can't be too direct too quickly.

There are four ways to connect with a man:touch, activity, sex, routines.

Men want closer marriages just as much as women do,but not if they has to act like a woman.

Talking makes women move closer;
it makes men move away.

The secret of the silent male is this:
his wife supplies the meaning in his life.

The stunning truth about love is that talking doesn’t help.

Have you ever had this conversation with your spouse?

Wife: “Honey, we need to talk about us.”
Husband: “Do we have to?”

Drs. Patricia Love and Steven Stosny have studied this all-too-familiar dynamic between men and women and have reached a truly shocking conclusion. Even with the best of intentions, talking about your relationship doesn’t bring you together, and it will eventually drive you apart.

The reason for this is that underneath most couples’ fights, there is a biological difference at work. A woman’s vulnerability to fear and anxiety makes her draw closer, while a man’s subtle sensitivity to shame makes him pull away in response. This is why so many married couples fall into the archetypal roles of nagging wife/stonewalling husband, and why improving a marriage can’t happen through words.

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It teaches couples how to get closer in ways that don’t require “trying to turn a man into a woman.” Rich in stories of couples who have turned their marriages around, and full of practical advice about the behaviors that make and break marriages, this essential guide will help couples find love beyond words.

A General Theory of Love

Fari Amini, Richard Lannon

List Price: $23.95 By: Random House Amazon Marketplace: 36 new & used starting at $2.99

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 85 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

Drawing on new scientific discoveries and seventy years of collective clinical experience, three psychiatrists unravel life's most elemental mystery: the nature of love.

A primordial area of the brain, far older than reason or thinking, creates both the capacity and the need for emotional intimacy that all humans share. A General Theory of Love describes the workings of this ancient, pivotal urge and reveals that our nervous systems are not self-contained. Instead, our brains link with those of the people close to us, in a silent rhythm that makes up the very life force of the body. These wordless and powerful ties determine our moods, stabilize and maintain our health and well-being, and change the structure of our brains. In consequence, who we are and who we become depend, in great part, on whom we love.

A General Theory of Love applies these and other extraordinary insights to some of the most crucial issues we face in our lives. Its authors explain how relationships function and where love goes wrong, how parents shape a child's developing self, how psychotherapy really works, what curbs and what fosters violent aggression in our children, and how modern society regularly courts disaster by flouting emotional laws it does not yet recognize.

A work of rare originality, passion, and eloquence, A General Theory of Love will forever change the way you think about human intimacy.

The Layguide: How to Seduce Women More Beautiful Than You Ever Dreamed Possible No Matter What You Look Like or How Much You Make

Tony Clink

Amazon Price: $10.36 List Price: $12.95 Usually ships in 24 hours By: Citadel Amazon Marketplace: 40 new & used starting at $6.95

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 54 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Another Useful Self-Help Book 4 out of 5 stars.
7 of 9 people found this review helpful.

Since I've started reading the books from the Pick Up Community, I've seen a pattern in the basic ways to approach women: it's basically putting out all the good qualities associated with being a man.

Be confident. Attentive, charming, humorous. Dress better, work on conversational skills. Maintain respect but also hold the course for seduction.

All of this sounds simple enough but...I think I belong to a generation of broken homes where the battling, bewildered single parents didn't pass on ANYTHING useful to their children. Let popular music and TV guide you into the Tunnel of Love.

And what a disaster that's been. (It also didn't help that social engineering tried to instill that boys and girls are essentially the same. How damaging has that been?).

So these books, while initially provoking women to be offended that men will be taking advantage of them, end up being the education us guys never got.

THE LAYGUIDE has a title that would suggest this book is about only seducing and taking advantage of women. I didn't really get that. (If you're looking for a book that not only writes in terms of women as only sexual objects but where to go and how much to spend on endless sex objects, that would be THE PROFESSIONAL BACHELOR. Especially the second half).

THE LAYGUIDE is a smooth, well-written How To book on approaching women and moving into a relationship, whether for one night or the rest of your life.

Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence

Esther Perel

Amazon Price: $11.16 List Price: $13.95 Usually ships in 24 hours By: Harper Paperbacks Amazon Marketplace: 49 new & used starting at $6.28

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 35 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

A lifechanging book for women and men 5 out of 5 stars.
2 of 2 people found this review helpful.

Perel's message is that good intimacy doesn't necessarily lead to good sex. In fact, closeness can dull our sexual appetites if we abandon the need for excitement and adventure in the need for predictability, comfort, and safety. So the dilemma is (in her terms) how do we put the X back in sex?

I love that she doesn't offer us easy how-tos. She tackles the complexities of sexual desire as an art rather than a series of steps you can count and measure. As she relates stories from the partnerships she's encountered in her two decades as a therapist, she makes it evident that great sex is about much more than just frequency of intercourse--it incorporates all the emotional joy and angst that go into living together: honesty and deception, affairs, commitment, arguments, overwork, excitement, mythbusting, parenthood. Perel suggests we each create a secret garden where we can enjoy our unique erotic blooming. Reading this brilliant, graceful book will help you cultivate your garden.

The Return of Desire: A Guide to Rediscovering Your Sexual Passion

Editorial Review:

One of the world’s most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love.

Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes?: Bodies, Behavior, and Brains--The Science Behind Sex, Love, and Attraction

Jena Pincott

Amazon Price: $13.60 List Price: $20.00 Usually ships in 24 hours By: Delacorte Press Amazon Marketplace: 49 new & used starting at $10.00

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 3 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

How long does it take to decide if a person is hot?
Is your lover more likely to get you pregnant than your husband?
Can men tell when a woman is fertile?

If you’ve ever wondered how scientists measure love—or whether men really prefer blondes over brunettes—this smart, sexy book provides real answers to these and many other questions about our most baffling dating and mating behaviors. Based on the latest research in biology, evolutionary psychology, neuroscience, and cognitive science, Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes? dares to explain the science behind sex—and opens a fascinating window on the intriguing phenomenon of love and attraction.

Covering the areas of bodies, brains, and behavior, this eye-opening guide reveals the genetic, hormonal, and psychological secrets behind what makes us tick sexually. For example, do you know why a man’s body chemistry and behavior change when he’s in a committed relationship? And why, when he becomes a daddy, his testosterone level seems to plummet? And did you know…

• When a couple first fall in love, their brains are indistinguishable from those of the clinically insane
• You can tell a lot about a person’s sexual chemistry just by looking at his or her hands
• Your genes influence whose body odors you prefer
• Being around breast-feeding women may increase a woman's sex drive

Viewed through the lens of science and instinct, your love life might be seen in a completely different way. Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes? provides both an in-depth exploration into our sexual psyches—and fresh advice for men and women who want to discover the secrets of successful relationships.

Don't Call It Love

Patrick Carnes

List Price: $25.75 By: Bantam Amazon Marketplace: 15 new & used starting at $4.99

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 16 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

"Dr. Patrick Carnes is a creative,  pioneering, and courageous human being. His books are  changing the lives of  thousands!"

"I lost three marriages, all because of affairs."  "I became suicidal because of multiple intense  involvements."

"I spent money on sex when I  needed it for children's clothes."

"I  lost promotion opportunities and a special  scholarship because my co-workers found out about my sex  life."

Every day they face the possibility of  destruction, risking their families, fiances,  jobs, dignity, and health. They come from all walks  of life: ministers, physicians, therapists,  politicians, executives, blue-collar workers. Most were  abused as children--sexually, physically or  emotionally--and saw addictive behavior in their early  lives. Most grapple with other addictions as well,  but their fiercest battle is with the most  astounding prevalent "secret" disorder in  America: sexual addiction. Here is a ground-breaking  work by the nation's leading professional expert on  sexual addiction, based on the candid testimony of  more than one thousand recovering sexual addicts  in the first major scientific study of the  disorder. This essential volume includes not only the  revealing findings of Dr. Carne's research with  recovering addicts but also advice from the addicts and  co-addicts themselves as they work to overcome  their compulsive behavior. Positive, hopeful, and  practical, Don't Call It Love is  a landmark book that helps us better understand  all addictions, their causes, and the difficult path  to recovery.


From the Trade Paperback edition.

The Heart of Tantric Sex: A Unique Guide to Love and Sexual Fulfillment

Diana Richardson

Amazon Price: $13.57 List Price: $19.95 Usually ships in 24 hours By: O Books Amazon Marketplace: 44 new & used starting at $10.22

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 7 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

If you are looking for a new perspective on sex I highly recommend this book as your intro to Tantric Sex 5 out of 5 stars.
11 of 11 people found this review helpful.

While browsing for books on alternative personal and environmental energetics, this book jumped off the bookstore shelf at me. I wasn't looking for a tantric sex introduction but after scanning it I knew there was something I was meant to learn from it. This book is valuable on 2 levels. On an personal and emotional level it simply describes the benefits of mindful conjoining and the tools to remain in the present moment, all of which has the ability to extend the conjoining experience by hours. As an energetic consultant practitioner I appreciated the physiological principles and descriptions throughout the book which were verified to be all true after following the guidelines. My approach has been changed forever. Anyone I discuss it with appears to be naturally drawn to the concept as well. It also discusses sexual dysfunction which makes alot of sense.

Excellent 5 out of 5 stars.
10 of 11 people found this review helpful.

Forget everything you know about sex in western culture. The book walks you through the process of rediscovering sex following tantric practices. Very enlightening. My wife is also reading this book. Truly something to share with your love.

Editorial Review:

This book can transform your experience into a sensual, loving and fulfilling one.

Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart

John Welwood

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 28 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

While most of us have moments of loving freely and openly, it is often hard to sustain this where it matters most—in our intimate relationships. Why, if love is so great and powerful, are human relationships so challenging and difficult? If love is the source of happiness and joy, why is it so hard to open to it fully and let it govern our lives? In this book, John Welwood addresses these questions and shows us how to overcome the most fundamental obstacle that keeps us from experiencing love's full flowering in our lives. Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships begins by showing how all our relational problems arise out of a universal, core wounding around love that affects not only our personal relationships but the quality of life in our world as a whole. This wounding shows up as a pervasive mood of unlove—a deep sense that we are not intrinsically lovable just as we are. And this shuts down our capacity to trust, so that even though we may hunger for love, we have difficulty opening to it and letting it circulate freely through us. This book takes the reader on a powerful journey of healing and transformation that involves learning to embrace our humanness and appreciate the imperfections of our relationships as trail-markers along the path to great love. It sets forth a process for releasing deep-seated grievances we hold against others for not loving us better and against ourselves for not being better loved. And it shows how our longing to be loved can magnetize the great love that will free us from looking to others to find ourselves. Written with penetrating realism and a fresh, lyrical style that honors the subtlety and richness of our relationship to love itself, this revolutionary book offers profound and practical guidance for healing our lives as well as our embattled world.

A workshop based on this book is also available in audio. For more information, click here. 

Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women

Julia Heiman, Joseph, Ph.D. LoPiccolo

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 6 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

Are you shy or self-conscious when it comes to sex? Do you want to learn how to enhance the pleasure you derive from sex? The revised and expanded edition of Becoming Orgasmic provides a program designed to help anyone overcome the myriad obstacles to complete sexual satisfaction.

Whether married or single, young or old, the program presented in these pages will help you feel comfortable with yourself and your ideas about sex and enable you to grow as a person. Becoming Orgasmic will help you:

• Evaluate your sexual history and put it in perspective

• Explore your body through touch

• Understand the effects of pregnancy, menstruation, and menopause on sexual desire and response

• Be comfortable with your body and yourself as a woman

• Share self-discovery with your partner

• Find techniques to try if something turns you off

• Overcome the fear of orgasm

• Learn how to bring yourself to orgasm

• Practice safe sex in today's world -- precautionary measures, social expectations, personal values, and choosing a partner in the age of AIDS

A personal and sensitively written book that is also informative, Becoming Orgasmic is designed to make you feel good about your sexuality and yourself.

Sex on the Brain: 12 Lessons to Enhance Your Love Life

Daniel G Amen

Amazon Price: $26.59 List Price: $34.99 Usually ships in 24 hours By: Tantor Media Amazon Marketplace: 29 new & used starting at $14.25

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 16 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

The Neurobiology of Love, Lust, Loss, and Living Together 5 out of 5 stars.
11 of 11 people found this review helpful.

Daniel Amen combines knowledge from over 30,000 SPECT (Single Photon Emission Computerized Tomography) scans that allow him to see the Real Time, qualitative and quantitative brain function; with his superb insights into Human Behavior.

He presents a detailed view of Brain Function every step of the way from Gender Personality Differences, Attraction, Lust, Coupling, and Cohabitation, to breakups and loss of a loved one.

If Freud were alive today, he might well be working at one of Amen's clinics. For the first time in the History of Psychiatry, Investigators in the field are able to define and measure the Biological Underpinnings of Human Behavior. In addition to giving a good portrayal of our sexual existence, Dr. Amen presents some very useful interventions to improve this facet of our lives.

The CD was in WP3 format which was something of a problem to translate, but its contents filled about 6 regular audio CDs. Having spent 33 years attempting a synthesis of Mind and Brain, I found this to be a truly excellent book about a topic that always holds interest, and it is well worth the money.

Editorial Review:

Based on Dr. Daniel Amen's latest research in practical neuroscience, Sex on the Brain shares 12 lessons that help you enhance your love and sex lives through understanding and improving brain function. Filled with practical suggestions and information on how sex can save your life, Sex on the Brain reveals: