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Desire: Where Sex Meets Addiction

Susan Cheever

Desire: Where Sex Meets Addiction Susan Cheever Amazon Price: $15.64
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 5 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

We've all felt the giddy flutter of excitement when our new lover walks into the room. Waited by the phone, changed our plans...But are we in love, or is there something darker at work? In Desire: Where Sex Meets Addiction, Susan Cheever explores the shifting boundaries between the feelings of passion and addiction, desire and need, and she raises provocative and important questions about who we love and why.

Elegantly written and thoughtfully composed, Cheever's book combines unsparing and intimate memoir, interviews and stories, hard science and psychology to explore the difference between falling in love and falling prey to an addiction. Part one defines what addiction is and how it works -- the obsession, the betrayals, the broken promises to oneself and others. Part two explores the possible causes of addiction -- is it nature or nurture, a permanent condition or a temporary derangement? Part three considers what we can do about it, including a provocative suggestion about how we describe and treat addiction, and a look at the importance of community and storytelling.

In the end, there are no easy answers. "A straight look about some crooked feelings," Desire shows us the difference between the addiction that cripples our emotions, and healthy, empowering love that enhances our lives.

Making the Most of Small Groups: Differentiation for All

Debbie Diller

Making the Most of Small Groups: Differentiation for All Debbie Diller Amazon Price: $19.80
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 15 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Really good book! 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

This book is really good. I saw it in a workshop I was in and definitely recommend it. It has a lot of really good information and for a good price on here.

Great resource 4 out of 5 stars.
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Whether you have taught for a while or are just starting out, this book is a good resource. It goes through the components of reading and shows how to plan lessons according to what your students need. I found it very helpful in organizing materials and plans.

Good Purchase 5 out of 5 stars.
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Being a teacher I found this to be a valuable asset to my personal library. I have referred to it several times.

Wow! What an improvement! 5 out of 5 stars.
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This is a must have for any classroom. I had trouble organizing groups for all my different levels. Now I feel like each child is getting the attention they need to become a skilled reader.

Great Gift for new teacher 5 out of 5 stars.
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Such a great resource I always buy it as a gift for my student teachers - both books make a valuable investment - in th elives of their future students!!!

The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less

Barry Schwartz

The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less Barry Schwartz Amazon Price: $11.16
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By: Harper Perennial
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 100 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

In the spirit of Alvin Toffler’s Future Shock, a social critique of our obsession with choice, and how it contributes to anxiety, dissatisfaction and regret. This paperback includes a new P.S. section with author interviews, insights, features, suggested readings, and more.

Whether we’re buying a pair of jeans, ordering a cup of coffee, selecting a long-distance carrier, applying to college, choosing a doctor, or setting up a 401(k), everyday decisions--both big and small--have become increasingly complex due to the overwhelming abundance of choice with which we are presented.

We assume that more choice means better options and greater satisfaction. But beware of excessive choice: choice overload can make you question the decisions you make before you even make them, it can set you up for unrealistically high expectations, and it can make you blame yourself for any and all failures. In the long run, this can lead to decision-making paralysis, anxiety, and perpetual stress. And, in a culture that tells us that there is no excuse for falling short of perfection when your options are limitless, too much choice can lead to clinical depression.

In The Paradox of Choice, Barry Schwartz explains at what point choice--the hallmark of individual freedom and self-determination that we so cherish--becomes detrimental to our psychological and emotional well-being. In accessible, engaging, and anecdotal prose, Schwartz shows how the dramatic explosion in choice--from the mundane to the profound challenges of balancing career, family, and individual needs--has paradoxically become a problem instead of a solution. Schwartz also shows how our obsession with choice encourages us to seek that which makes us feel worse.

By synthesizing current research in the social sciences, Schwartz makes the counterintuitive case that eliminating choices can greatly reduce the stress, anxiety, and busyness of our lives. He offers eleven practical steps on how to limit choices to a manageable number, have the discipline to focus on the important ones and ignore the rest, and ultimately derive greater satisfaction from the choices you have to make.

Co-Active Coaching, 2nd Edition: New Skills for Coaching People Toward Success in Work and, Life

Laura Whitworth, Karen Kimsey-House, Henry Kimsey-House, Phillip Sandahl

Co-Active Coaching, 2nd Edition: New Skills for Coaching People Toward Success in Work and, Life Laura Whitworth, Karen Kimsey-House, Henry Kimsey-House, Phillip Sandahl Amazon Price: $26.37
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 55 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

A powerfull technique of coaching 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

The best book to learn how to practice Co-active coaching. This is a book for coaches or for coaching students . You can hear two sessions of coaching in the CD included.

Excellent Resource 5 out of 5 stars.
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If you are interested in learning more about coaching someone on how to have a fuller live and/or achieve their goals this is a great book for you. I also strongly recommend taking the Co-Active Coaching classes offered by the Coaches Training Institute. During each level of the classes I felt I had learned so much about coaching, myself and all of the wonderful folks in my classes that even if I wasn't studying to become a coach, this program was so well worth it.

Editorial Review:

A newly revised edition of the book that helped define the coaching profession, Co-Active Coaching captures the essence of what it takes to design and maintain successful, collaborative, and empowering coaching relationships. The authors describe in detail their flexible and adaptive model-placing the client's agenda at the heart of the coaching partnership, define the skills required for success, provide dozens of sample coaching conversations, and a power-packed Coach's Toolkit of over 35 exercises, questionnaires, checklists, and forms to make these proven principles and techniques eminently practical and immediately actionable.

The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil

Philip Zimbardo

The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil Philip Zimbardo Amazon Price: $12.24
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 64 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

What makes good people do bad things? How can moral people be seduced to act immorally? Where is the line separating good from evil, and who is in danger of crossing it?

Renowned social psychologist Philip Zimbardo has the answers, and in The Lucifer Effect he explains how–and the myriad reasons why–we are all susceptible to the lure of “the dark side.” Drawing on examples from history as well as his own trailblazing research, Zimbardo details how situational forces and group dynamics can work in concert to make monsters out of decent men and women.

Zimbardo is perhaps best known as the creator of the Stanford Prison Experiment. Here, for the first time and in detail, he tells the full story of this landmark study, in which a group of college-student volunteers was randomly divided into “guards” and “inmates” and then placed in a mock prison environment. Within a week the study was abandoned, as ordinary college students were transformed into either brutal, sadistic guards or emotionally broken prisoners.

By illuminating the psychological causes behind such disturbing metamorphoses, Zimbardo enables us to better understand a variety of harrowing phenomena, from corporate malfeasance to organized genocide to how once upstanding American soldiers came to abuse and torture Iraqi detainees in Abu Ghraib. He replaces the long-held notion of the “bad apple” with that of the “bad barrel”–the idea that the social setting and the system contaminate the individual, rather than the other way around.

This is a book that dares to hold a mirror up to mankind, showing us that we might not be who we think we are. While forcing us to reexamine what we are capable of doing when caught up in the crucible of behavioral dynamics, though, Zimbardo also offers hope. We are capable of resisting evil, he argues, and can even teach ourselves to act heroically. Like Hannah Arendt’s Eichmann in Jerusalem and Steven Pinker’s The Blank Slate, The Lucifer Effect is a shocking, engrossing study that will change the way we view human behavior.


From the Hardcover edition.

Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate

Roger Fisher, Daniel Shapiro

Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate Roger Fisher, Daniel Shapiro Amazon Price: $10.20
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 39 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Guidebook for using emotions in negotiation 5 out of 5 stars.
2 of 2 people found this review helpful.

Far too many books treat negotiation as a rational process, as if the parties involved are calculating machines (or close to it). Authors Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro show that is not the case. They explain how emotions affect negotiating, and provide tools based on five core emotional concerns for dealing with powerful feelings at the negotiating table. This slender book is clearly written, and the authors illustrate each point in their theoretical framework with examples from their extensive experience. The result is an immediately applicable book that provides a host of practical tips. getAbstract recommends it to anyone who negotiates...and that means just about everyone.

Editorial Review:

In Getting to Yes, renowned educator and negotiator Roger Fisher presented a universally applicable method for effectively negotiating personal and professional disputes. Building on his work as director of the Harvard Negotiation Project, Fisher now teams with Harvard psychologist Daniel Shapiro, an expert on the emotional dimension of negotiation. In Beyond Reason, they show readers how to use emotions to turn a disagreement—big or small, professional or personal—into an opportunity for mutual gain.

Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls

Rachel Simmons

Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls Rachel Simmons Amazon Price: $11.20
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 94 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

must read for youth workers and parents 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

i'm not sure how i missed this book. it was published in 2002, and is absolute must reading for EVERY youth worker (male or female) and every parent of a girl.

it's a tough read and an easy read. easy, because simmons is an excellent writer and fills the book with real stories of real girls. tough, because the real girls she profiles reveal a profile of aggression (almost universally experienced) that is so painful, so destructive, it's difficult to read (especially if you care about teenage girls).

i had a great chat with my 13 year-old daughter, liesl, after reading this book. she was very open about how girls treat each other. i may be fooling myself, but i do think that liesl's private school (a waldorf school, which is particularly nurturing and has no tolerance for mistreatment) protects her from the fullest extent of what this behavior would look like in the vast majority of schools. in fact, i could easily see liesl being the aggressor (the rumor-creator, the silent treatment-giver, the "we don't like you" club-originator), were she in a different context.

the book talks at length about why this alternative aggression is so commonplace amongst girls. it also talks about why schools are so poor at addressing it. it's a bit light on suggestions for what we all (who care about girls) can do about it - but there is some of this, especially near the end of the book.

given my passion for early adolescent ministry, i was intrigued to read that this behavior is at its peak during the young teen years. the author focuses all of her research on girls from 5th grade through 9th grade, with the "sweet spot" (bad choice of words, i suppose) between 11 and 14.

here's one particular paragraph i found fascinating:

at first glance, the stories of girls not being allowed to eat at the lunch table, attend a party, put their sleeping bag in the middle, or squeeze inside a circle of giggling girls may seem childish. yet as carol gilligan has shown, relationships play an unusually important role in girls' social development. in her work with girls and boys, she found that girls perceive danger in their lives as isolation, especially the fear that by standing out they will be abandoned. boys, however, describe danger as a fear of entrapment or smothering. this contrast, gilligan argues, shows that women's development "points toward a diffrerent history of human attachment, stressing continuity and change instead of replacement and seperation. the primacy of relationship and attachment in the female life also indicates a different experience of and response to loss. the centrallity of relationship to girls' lives all but guarantees a different landscape of aggression and bullying, with its own distinctive features worthy of seperate study.

Editorial Review:

Dirty looks and taunting notes are just a few examples of girl bullying that girls and women have long suffered through silently and painfully. With this book Rachel Simmons elevated the nation's consciousness and has shown millions of girls, parents, counselors, and teachers how to deal with this devastating problem. Poised to reach a wider audience in paperback, including the teenagers who are its subject, Odd Girl Out puts the spotlight on this issue, using real-life examples from both the perspective of the victim and of the bully.

Hot Chicks with Douchebags

Jay Louis

Hot Chicks with Douchebags Jay Louis Amazon Price: $12.21
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 8 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

Greasy foreheads. Spiky frosted hair. Oiled-up faces dripping with Tag Body Shot spray. Armani Exchange T-shirts and rank cologne wafting off their backs like fetid pollen clouds as they pump their fists and attempt to grind into any hotties nearby. Young beauties oblivious to the hulking monstrosity clutching at their butts like snapping turtles on Red Bull.

From sea to douchey sea, ours is a culture plagued by this festering blight. By the dark forces of über-douchebaggery.

How did this happen? What can we do to confront the douchebag/hottie plague that rots our collective souls like boils sent by a wrathful and angry God? And how can you recover if you or your loved one is 'bag?

Now, for the first time, there is an answer to those questions that haunt our collective will and sap our culture of any claim to societal advance: Why hottie/douchebaggery? Why now? And why are douche-faces so silly? In this book we dissect, analyze, contemplate and mock the rank douchescrotes that pollute our country's hottie supply on a daily basis. Every branch of the douche-tree will be examined. Every corner of our cultural rot will be exposed.

And if we can lust after their hotties along the way, then all the better.

Albion's Seed: Four British Folkways in America (America a Cultural History, Vol 1)

David Hackett Fischer

Albion's Seed: Four British Folkways in America (America a Cultural History, Vol 1) David Hackett Fischer List Price: $45.00
By: Oxford University Press, USA
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 86 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

This book is the first volume in a cultural history of the United States, from the earliest English settlements to our own time. It is a history of American folkways as they have changed through time, and it argues a thesis about the importance for the United States of having been British in its cultural origins.
From 1629 to 1775, North America was settled by four great waves of English-speaking immigrants. The first was an exodus of Puritans from the east of England to Massachusetts (1629-1640). The second was the movement of a Royalist elite and indentured servants from the south of England to Virginia (ca. 1649-75). The third was the "Friends' migration,"--the Quakers--from the North Midlands and Wales to the Delaware Valley (ca. 1675-1725). The fourth was a great flight from the borderlands of North Britain and northern Ireland to the American backcountry (ca. 1717-75).
These four groups differed in many ways--in religion, rank, generation and place of origin. They brought to America different folkways which became the basis of regional cultures in the United States. They spoke distinctive English dialects and built their houses in diverse ways. They had different ideas of family, marriage and gender; different practices of child-naming and child-raising; different attitudes toward sex, age and death; different rituals of worship and magic; different forms of work and play; different customs of food and dress; different traditions of education and literacy; different modes of settlement and association. They also had profoundly different ideas of comity, order, power and freedom which derived from British folk-traditions. Albion's Seed describes those differences in detail, and discusses the continuing importance of their transference to America.
Today most people in the United States (more than 80 percent) have no British ancestors at all. These many other groups, even while preserving their own ethnic cultures, have also assimilated regional folkways which were transplanted from Britain to America. In that sense, nearly all Americans today are "Albion's Seed," no matter what their ethnic origins may be; but they are so in their different regional ways. The concluding section of Albion's Seed explores the ways that regional cultures have continued to dominate national politics from 1789 to 1988, and still control attitudes toward education, government, gender, and violence, on which differences between American regions are greater than between European nations.
Albion's Seed also argues that the four British folkways created an expansive cultural pluralism that has proved to the more libertarian than any single culture alone could be. Together they became the determinants of a voluntary society in the United States.

Why We Buy: The Science Of Shopping

Paco Underhill

Why We Buy: The Science Of Shopping Paco Underhill List Price: $25.00
By: Simon & Schuster
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 148 Average rating: 3.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

Why We Buy is a witty and surprising report on our evolving shopping culture. This is a book about us, from moms and dads to seniors and mall rats, and what we do, and don't do, in stores, restaurants and showrooms.

Why We Buy is about the struggle among merchants, marketers and increasingly knowledgeable customers for control. With humor, insight, anecdote and lots of hard data, retail anthropologist Paco Underhill leads the reader through a journey into shopping heaven and hell. For those in retailing and marketing, Why We Buy is a remarkably fresh guide, offering concrete and usable advice on how to adapt to the changing customer. For the general public, Why We Buy is a charming, funny and sometimes disconcerting mirror of who we really are.

Underhill and his company, Envirosell, are credited as being the founders of the science of shopping. For almost two decades, Underhill has been leading blue-chip clients into the retail trenches. Like a modern-day Margaret Mead observing at the local mail, Underhill's firm records and measures with great precision what goes on in stores as we wander or rush about, find what we want and sometimes do the unexpected. From base camps in New York City, Milan and Sydney, Underhill and his colleagues follow in person and on videotape between fifty thousand and seventy thousand shoppers a year through their retail experiences in stores, banks and public offices. (They record some twenty thousand hours of what Underhill reports to be generally some of the most profoundly dull videotape imaginable.) Why We Buy explains how consumer and retail marketing has gone from being a war to being a bar fight, an environment in which Coke is competing not only with Pepsi, but with every other product on promotional display.

The marketing tools the retail and package-goods industries have built over the past century no longer work as well as they used to. The gender models that have driven stores and designers have become increasingly obsolete; there is a reason why the Jeep Cherokee comes with a makeup mirror on the driver's side. With wry humor, Why We Buy looks at men trying to buy gifts in lingerie stores and women struggling for attention, service and respect in car dealerships and technology stores. It reveals how men are more promiscuous buyers and softer touches for children, as well as how a woman will spend even longer in the aisles if she is with a woman friend.

In Why We Buy, Underhill explains why we do what we do, notice what we notice, ignore what we ignore and buy what we buy. He tells us, for instance, why women won't linger to shop in narrow aisles, why the Internet cannot replace the shopping mail, how hardware stores are learning to adapt to women and how men are beginning to shop like women, how working women have altered the way supermarkets are laid out and why the person in charge at a branch bank sits at the desk farthest from the front door.

Paco Underhill's Why We Buy amuses and instructs, and it will change forever the way you look at stores and at yourself.


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