General Books

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

John Gray

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 401 Average rating: 3.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

Popular marriage counselor and seminar leader John Gray provides a unique, practical and proven way for men and women to communicate and relate better by acknowledging the differences between them.

Once upon a time Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets.

Using this metaphor to illustrate the commonly occurring conflicts between men and women, Gray explains how these differences can come between the sexes and prohibit mutually fulfilling loving relationships. Based on years of successful counseling of couples, he gives advice on how to counteract these differences in communication styles, emotional needs and modes of behavior to promote a greater understanding between individual partners. Gray shows how men and women react differently in conversation and how their relationships are affected by male intimacy cycles ("get close", "back off"), and female self-esteem fluctuations ("I'm okay", "I'm not okay"). He encourages readers to accept the other gender's particular way of expressing love, and helps men and women learn how to fulfill each other's emotional needs.

With practical suggestions on how to reduce conflict, crucial information on how to interpret a partner's behavior and methods for preventing emotional "trash from the past" from invading new relationships, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is a valuable tool for couples who want to develop deeper and more satisfying relationships with their partners.

For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women

Shaunti Feldhahn, Jeff Feldhahn

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Total reviews: 97 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

Finally—You Can Understand Her!

Women: complicated and impossible to understand? Do you love and want to please the woman in your life, but just can’t seem to figure her out? That was before For Men Only. Now at your fingertips is the tool that will unlock the secret to her mysterious ways. Through hundreds of interviews and the results of a scientific national survey of women, this book demonstrates that women are actually not random and that they really can be systematized and “mapped.” In fact, much to men’s delight, this book shows that women are actually quite easy to understand and please—as long as you know what it is they need. This simple map will guide you to loving your wife or girlfriend in the way she needs to be loved.

Finally.

You Can Understand Her!

Women: complicated and impossible to understand? Have you given up trying to “get” the woman in your life? If so, you are in for a pleasant eye-opener: She can be understood. Even better—you can make her happy. Which will make you happy.

The bestselling author of For Women Only teams with her husband to offer men the key to unlocking the mysterious ways of women. Through Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn ’s national scientific survey and hundreds of interviews, For Men Only reveals what you can do today to improve your relationship. And believe it or not, as Jeff assures men, “It’s not splitting the atom.”

What makes her tick? What is she really asking (but not actually saying)? Take the guesswork out of trying to please your wife or girlfriend and begin loving her in the way she needs. Easily. For Men Only is a straightforward map that will lead you straight into her heart.

And for every guy who rarely reads a manual:

Quick-Start Guide Included!

“When we featured Shaunti’s book For Women Only on FamilyLife Today , the phone rang off the hook! When Shaunti and Jeff come back on our broadcast, I’m buying some more phones. This is fresh and relevant—good stuff for every marriage. Read it!”

Dennis Rainey

President, FamilyLife

Story Behind the Book

“As I was writing For Women Only to help women understand the inner lives of men, over and over I heard that men wished there was a way to understand their wives, but they felt it was probably impossible. I heard from them, ‘You are writing this little slim volume about men, but if it was about understanding women, it would have to be the size of an encyclopedia! Women are random and complicated!’ These men were surprised and encouraged when I assured them that women are neither random nor complicated, and we can be understood. Men just want to love their wives well, and For Men Only will help them do that.”

—Shaunti Feldhahn

Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys

Dan Kindlon, Michael Thompson, Teresa Barker

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 110 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

The stunning success of Reviving Ophelia, Mary Pipher's landmark book, showed a true and pressing need to address the emotional lives of girls. Now, finally, here is the book that answers our equally timely and critical need to understand our boys.

In Raising Cain, Dan Kindlon, Ph.D., and Michael Thompson, Ph.D., two of the country's leading child psychologists, share what they have learned in more than thirty-five years of combined experience working with boys and their families. They reveal a nation of boys who are hurting--sad, afraid, angry, and silent. Statistics point to an alarming number of young boys at high risk for suicide, alcohol and drug abuse, violence and loneliness. Kindlon and Thompson set out to answer this basic, crucial question: What do boys need that they're not getting? They illuminate the forces that threaten our boys, teaching them to believe that "cool" equals macho strength and stoicism. Cutting through outdated theories of "mother blame," "boy biology," and "testosterone," Kindlon and Thompson shed light on the destructive emotional training our boys receive--the emotional miseducation of boys.

Through moving case studies and cutting-edge research, Raising Cain paints a portrait of boys systematically steered away from their emotional lives by adults and the peer "culture of cruelty"--boys who receive little encouragement to develop qualities such as compassion, sensitivity, and warmth. The good news is that this doesn't have to happen. There is much we can do to prevent it.

Kindlon and Thompson make a compelling case that emotional literacy is the most valuable gift we can offer our sons, urging parents to recognize the price boys pay when we hold them to an impossible standard of manhood. They identify the social and emotional challenges that boys encounter in school and show how parents can help boys cultivate emotional awareness and empathy--giving them the vital connections and support they need to navigate the social pressures of youth.

Powerfully written and deeply felt, Raising Cain will forever change the way we see our sons and will transform the way we help them to become happy and fulfilled young men.

The Trouble with Boys: A Surprising Report Card on Our Sons, Their Problems at School, and What Parents and Educators Must Do

Peg Tyre

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Total reviews: 15 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

From the moment they step into the classroom, boys begin to struggle. They get expelled from preschool nearly five times more often than girls; in elementary school, they’re diagnosed with learning disorders four times as often. By eighth grade huge numbers are reading below basic level. And by high school, they’re heavily outnumbered in AP classes and, save for the realm of athletics, show indifference to most extra­curricular activities. Perhaps most alarmingly, boys now account for less than 43 percent of those enrolled in college, and the gap widens every semester!

The imbalance in higher education isn’t just a “boy problem,” though. Boys’ decreasing college attendance is bad news for girls, too, because ad­missions officers seeking balanced student bodies pass over girls in favor of boys. The growing gender imbalance in education portends massive shifts for the next generation: how much they make and whom they marry.

Interviewing hundreds of parents, kids, teachers, and experts, award-winning journalist Peg Tyre drills below the eye-catching statistics to examine how the educational system is failing our sons. She explores the convergence of culprits, from the emphasis on high-stress academics in preschool and kindergarten, when most boys just can’t tolerate sitting still, to the outright banning of recess, from the demands of No Child Left Behind, with its rigid emphasis on test-taking, to the boy-unfriendly modern curriculum with its focus on writing about “feelings” and its purging of “high-action” reading material, from the rise of video gaming and schools’ unease with technology to the lack of male teachers as role models.

But this passionate, clearheaded book isn’t an exercise in finger-pointing. Tyre, the mother of two sons, offers notes from the front lines—the testimony of teachers and other school officials who are trying new techniques to motivate boys to learn again, one classroom at a time. The Trouble with Boys gives parents, educators, and anyone concerned about the state of education a manifesto for change—one we must undertake right away lest school be-come, for millions of boys, unalterably a “girl thing.”

The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship: A Toltec Wisdom Book

Miguel Ruiz

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 126 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Practical, Insightful- & Just in Time for the Holidays!- Master this Book Now! 5 out of 5 stars.
22 of 22 people found this review helpful.

This small, simple little book is filled with an abundance of insightful life lessons that can direct you onto the path of living a spiritually rich life. "The Mastery of Love", by Don Miguel Ruiz, is a practical guide on the art of forming a relationship. From Ruiz's perspective, relationship building is indeed an art form.

Ruiz divides his spiritual journey into three different areas of emotional awareness. The first is the `Mastery of Awareness', whereby he looks at relationship from the perspective of freedom. He suggests that relationship can only thrive and develop through a sense of freedom and truth. The second is the `Mastery of Transformation' , in which the author encourages the development of spiritual awareness. Finally, the author examines the `Mastery of Love' suggesting that the road to true happiness and truthful expression of the mind, body, and soul is the expression of love. As the author delves into each of the three major tenants of his approach, it becomes clear that love and relating to one another can be a simple journey of self awareness and the willingness to embrace love.

The spiritual journey in this book reminds me of my favorite authors on the topic of pursuing happiness and self expression. Ariel and Shya Kanes' book "Working on Yourself Doesn't Work: The 3 Simple Ideas That Will Instantaneously Transform Your Life" is an incredible book dedicated to pursuing a fulfilling and meaningful life through awareness and transformation. I have taken their workshops in New York City. Their approach has truly shifted the qualitative experience in my life and how I interact within all of my relationships. You can check out their books and workshops on Transformationmadeeasy.com

I suggest you check out the books by Ruiz and the Kanes and read them back to back! Both will help enrich and enliven the way you interact with life and with other people!

Editorial Review:

In a refreshingly honest investigation of the true nature of love, don Miguel Ruiz brings to light the commonly held fallacies and misplaced expectations about love that permeate most relationships. In the tradition of Carlos Castaneda, he uses inspirational stories to impart the wisdom of three fundamental Toltec masteries (Awareness, Transformation, and Love). The themes explored include the Toltec wisdom of the heart, the track of love, and the war of control.

Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype

Clarissa Pinkola Estes

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 109 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

This book has helped me SO MUCH! 5 out of 5 stars.
2 of 3 people found this review helpful.

It is just amazing. Opens your mind to all kinds of new perceptions and possibilities!

Editorial Review:

"WOMEN WHO RUN WITH THE WOLVES isn't just another book. It is a gift of profound insight, wisdom, and love. An oracle from one who knows."
Alice Walker
Within every woman there is a wild and natural creature, a powerful force, filled with good instincts, passionate creativity, and ageless knowing. Her name is Wild Woman, but she is an endangered species. Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D., Jungian analyst and cantadora storyteller shows how women's vitality can be restored through what she calls "psychic archeological digs" into the ruins of the female unconsious. Using multicultural myths, fairy tales, folk tales, and stories, Dr. Estes helps women reconnect with the healthy, instinctual, visionary attributes of the Wild Woman archetype.
Dr. Estes has created a new lexicon for describing the female psyche. Fertile and life-giving, it is a psychology of women in the truest sense, a knowing of the soul.

Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls

Rachel Simmons

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 94 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

must read for youth workers and parents 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

i'm not sure how i missed this book. it was published in 2002, and is absolute must reading for EVERY youth worker (male or female) and every parent of a girl.

it's a tough read and an easy read. easy, because simmons is an excellent writer and fills the book with real stories of real girls. tough, because the real girls she profiles reveal a profile of aggression (almost universally experienced) that is so painful, so destructive, it's difficult to read (especially if you care about teenage girls).

i had a great chat with my 13 year-old daughter, liesl, after reading this book. she was very open about how girls treat each other. i may be fooling myself, but i do think that liesl's private school (a waldorf school, which is particularly nurturing and has no tolerance for mistreatment) protects her from the fullest extent of what this behavior would look like in the vast majority of schools. in fact, i could easily see liesl being the aggressor (the rumor-creator, the silent treatment-giver, the "we don't like you" club-originator), were she in a different context.

the book talks at length about why this alternative aggression is so commonplace amongst girls. it also talks about why schools are so poor at addressing it. it's a bit light on suggestions for what we all (who care about girls) can do about it - but there is some of this, especially near the end of the book.

given my passion for early adolescent ministry, i was intrigued to read that this behavior is at its peak during the young teen years. the author focuses all of her research on girls from 5th grade through 9th grade, with the "sweet spot" (bad choice of words, i suppose) between 11 and 14.

here's one particular paragraph i found fascinating:

at first glance, the stories of girls not being allowed to eat at the lunch table, attend a party, put their sleeping bag in the middle, or squeeze inside a circle of giggling girls may seem childish. yet as carol gilligan has shown, relationships play an unusually important role in girls' social development. in her work with girls and boys, she found that girls perceive danger in their lives as isolation, especially the fear that by standing out they will be abandoned. boys, however, describe danger as a fear of entrapment or smothering. this contrast, gilligan argues, shows that women's development "points toward a diffrerent history of human attachment, stressing continuity and change instead of replacement and seperation. the primacy of relationship and attachment in the female life also indicates a different experience of and response to loss. the centrallity of relationship to girls' lives all but guarantees a different landscape of aggression and bullying, with its own distinctive features worthy of seperate study.

Editorial Review:

Dirty looks and taunting notes are just a few examples of girl bullying that girls and women have long suffered through silently and painfully. With this book Rachel Simmons elevated the nation's consciousness and has shown millions of girls, parents, counselors, and teachers how to deal with this devastating problem. Poised to reach a wider audience in paperback, including the teenagers who are its subject, Odd Girl Out puts the spotlight on this issue, using real-life examples from both the perspective of the victim and of the bully.

Why Gender Matters: What Parents and Teachers Need to Know about the Emerging Science of Sex Differences

Leonard Sax

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Total reviews: 51 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

Are boys and girls really that different? Twenty years ago, doctors and researchers didn’t think so. Back then, most experts believed that differences in how girls and boys behave are mainly due to differences in how they were treated by their parents, teachers, and friends.

It's hard to cling to that belief today. An avalanche of research over the past twenty years has shown that sex differences are more significant and profound than anybody guessed. Sex differences are real, biologically programmed, and important to how children are raised, disciplined, and educated.

In Why Gender Matters, psychologist and family physician Dr. Leonard Sax leads parents through the mystifying world of gender differences by explaining the biologically different ways in which children think, feel, and act. He addresses a host of issues, including discipline, learning, risk taking, aggression, sex, and drugs, and shows how boys and girls react in predictable ways to different situations.

For example, girls are born with more sensitive hearing than boys, and those differences increase as kids grow up. So when a grown man speaks to a girl in what he thinks is a normal voice, she may hear it as yelling. Conversely, boys who appear to be inattentive in class may just be sitting too far away to hear the teacher—especially if the teacher is female.

Likewise, negative emotions are seated in an ancient structure of the brain called the amygdala. Girls develop an early connection between this area and the cerebral cortex, enabling them to talk about their feelings. In boys these links develop later. So if you ask a troubled adolescent boy to tell you what his feelings are, he often literally cannot say.

Dr. Sax offers fresh approaches to disciplining children, as well as gender-specific ways to help girls and boys avoid drugs and early sexual activity. He wants parents to understand and work with hardwired differences in children, but he also encourages them to push beyond gender-based stereotypes.

A leading proponent of single-sex education, Dr. Sax points out specific instances where keeping boys and girls separate in the classroom has yielded striking educational, social, and interpersonal benefits. Despite the view of many educators and experts on child-rearing that sex differences should be ignored or overcome, parents and teachers would do better to recognize, understand, and make use of the biological differences that make a girl a girl, and a boy a boy.

Sex and the City

Candace Bushnell

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Total reviews: 205 Average rating: 3.0 of 5

Carrie Fever 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

I'm an absolute Sex and the City nut. Been addicted to the show for years. Happy to finaly have the book it all come from.

Not a story 1 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

Beware!! This is not a novel!! If you want an engrossing read and you want the girls from sex and the city, do not let this fool you. This book is more of an essay. Paragraph after paragraph of what appears to be the newspaper column maybe. Not novel format at all. I was real disapointed because I enjoyed Lipstick Jungle and Trading Up and Four Blondes. This book is nothing like them.

Lacks Zsa Zsa Zsou 2 out of 5 stars.
0 of 1 people found this review helpful.

Okay, so I bought the book because I'm a fan of the show, and the movie was fun, if not as sexy and smart as the series. I just found this book really boring - it seemed as though Bushnell couldn't really be bothered writing it... maybe that was to convey the superficiality and heartlessness of the people, but how can you care about people like that?
Give me the show over this any day - in the end it was the friendships between Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha that gave it its zsa zsa zsou - and the superb acting.
Some chapters are insightful but overall, it's bland. I'm just glad that it spawned the series though!

Editorial Review:

Bushnell, a columnist and social critic, trips on her Manolo Blahnik kitten heels on a drunken cocktail trail through New York, from the Baby Doll Lounge to the Bowery Bar. On her travels, she assembles a cast of freaks, wonders, wannabes and gossip-peddlars.

The History of Sexuality, Vol. 1: An Introduction

Michel Foucault

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Total reviews: 29 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Hard...but worth it. 4 out of 5 stars.
6 of 6 people found this review helpful.

Foucault is one of the most important thinkers of our time. He is a historian, a cultural theorist, and a philosopher. When looking at the History of Sexuality Foucault does not see powerful figures repressing sex, but actually encouraging people to discuss it. This discourse was encouraged so that sex could be controlled and this discourse actually created what is today called sexuality--a norm that we believe to be culturally independent or universal. The belief that sex is repressed is only another strategy formed through a series of power relationships that desires for people to keep discussing sex in order that this "sex" can be classified and controled. For example: Encouraging a discourse on the act of sodomy enabled a catagory of homosexual to be created. Instead of sodomy being a act that a person may engage in, that person instantly became a homosexual, his sexuality constituting his entire being--how he/she should talk, act, and live in general. The discourse that was encourage to develop around sex enable power to classify and control sexuality--power actually created what we believe to be the "real sexuality". Foucault explains the complicated relationship between power and discourse that developed a set of complicated and sometimes contradicting--and always changing--ideas about what sex is and how we are to approach it.
This book is not easy. I will have to read it again. However, I believe that this book is a good intro to Foucault's very important theories on power relationships. An important factor to be recognized is that this book is a translation from french and, as many people have already expressed, has made it more difficult to comprehend. I did not understand everything in totality but I feel that the most imporant concepts were revealed. If you get confused take a deep breath and reread the previous paragraph, doing this helped alot and gives your brain a second chance to wrap itself around the really difficult parts. This is a very rewarding book that will give you valuable tools for confronting and interpreting the ideologies and power relationships we are confronted with. Good Luck!

Editorial Review:

The author turns his attention to sex and the reasons why we are driven constantly to analyze and discuss it. An iconoclastic explanation of modern sexual history.