Sociology Books - Page 17

A Man Named Dave

Dave Pelzer

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Total reviews: 224 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

The inspiring conclusion to the New York Times bestselling series that includes A Child Called 'It' and The Lost Boy

Dave Pelzer's incredible and inspiring life story has already captured the interest of more than one million readers. A Man Named Dave is the long-awaited conclusion to his trilogy in which he describes how he triumphed over years of physical and emotional abuse from his parents to become a self-accepting and confident adult. Readers of Pelzer's previous two bestsellers await this book--the first of Pelzer's books to be available in hardcover--to learn how he finally confronts his pathologically abusive mother and his neglectful, alcoholic father in an effort to turn a childhood marked by rejection and emotional abuse into an adulthood filled with love and acceptance.

* Dave Pelzer's first two books have been on the New York Times bestseller list for more than one hundred weeks combined

* The first two books in this trilogy have been translated into ten languages

"A Child Called 'It' was so riveting, neither I nor my staff could put it down! Dave Pelzer's story does not focus on his life-threatening plight as much as his unyielding determination that inspires us all. Dave is a living example that all of us have the capability to better ourselves no matter what the odds. One's life is forever changed after living through the eyes of A Child Called 'It'."--Jack Canfield, coauthor of Chicken Soup for the Soul

"The Lost Boy stands shining as the premier book on the unique love and dedication that social services and foster families provide for our children in peril. Dave Pelzer is certainly a living testament of resilience, personal responsibility, and the triumph of the human spirit."--John Bradshaw, bestselling author of Homecoming

The Virtue of Selfishness

Ayn Rand

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 125 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

How Selfish 4 out of 5 stars.
5 of 5 people found this review helpful.

I find myself again reviewing a book by Ayn Rand that I quite liked. I am not a philosophy major so I won't be arguing about the soundness of her metaphysics or epistemology. I will simply say that while I don't agree with everything she has to say (few would) she makes very interesting observations. Her essay on the concept of human rights as a way to subjugate rulers to moral law is spot on. Her definition of sacrifice is also more logical than another one proposed in another review. Her idea that capitalism is the only free economic system borders on tautological and her support of property rights is a rarity amongst modern "thinkers". Again, while I don't support everything she said (I am still debating the idea of absolute morality, as if morality was something we can discover like the laws of physics) I think she makes strong arguments for personal freedom and the proper relation between a government and its governed.

Adolescent, juvenile philosophy 1 out of 5 stars.
4 of 23 people found this review helpful.

Objectism appeals to an adolescent mind. An individual who has thought about self, non-self, life, meaning, spirituality, materialism ... in any meaningful way cannot but come to the realization that Rand's philosophy is woefully superficial and juvenile. Or so one might hope...

People who are ardent devotees of Rand always seem to impress me as a bit odd. Their personalities and characters seem shallow, robotic, cold, underdeveloped but at the same time they appear smug and self-satisfied.

It is ironic that most Rand followers are intelligent, but not really. It truly does take an intelligent mind to convulute what is intuitive truth and combined with the ruse of so-called logic and rational thinking, build an artifice only a clever but misguided child might.

Rand's raison detre is the concept of "self". But what is the "self"? Rand superficially believes the self begins with one's personal mind or consciousness. And from there, all her "selfish" ethics follow. In her world, everything begins and ends with "self". In other words, the small little world encased in her tiny head.

To be sure, the "self" is the individual. This is not false. And therefore, it is logical that ethics should stem from this source and fountain.

But it's also not all true, either.

This is why Rand appeals to the adolescent. An adolescent is one who is yet maturing from childhood, growing into an adult individual. And this growing into his own is exciting. He is enthralled with his growing independence. His growing awareness of his individuality is exhilerating. To him, his little self is the beginning and end to all things.

But as adolescents grows older, most realize at some level that the "self" is not binary. As the ancient philosophers, mystics and sages before us have realized, the "self" is really a continuum. There are no clear lines. There is no beginning or end. No real boundaries; just those you create.

True wisdom comes when one is able to transcend the conventional, narrow definition of "self" that Rand defines and limits one's self to being.

Does a wider conception of self entail a politics and society empty of individual rights, liberties and freedoms? Of course not. Only a child would come to such a conclusion.

Contrary to Rand, a society that respects individual rights and liberties is possible concomitantly with a culture/philosophy that realizes that the "self" can be and is larger than the individual flesh and bones that encases our egos. It can be a society that respects not only individuals but peoples, nature and everything in the world... to fulfill and seek out their happiness in their own unique way while at the same time, helping each other without the need or expectation of "self interested benefit" in the narrowest sense.

Indeed, unlike Rand, whose ethics are driven by "self-interest"; the ethics of a "larger self" are driven by love and charity. But unlike Rand, the latter would realize that the two are really the same thing inasmuch as love is the enlargement of the self to include others in that idea of self, until ultimately, the binary notion of self disappears altogether.

Logically, then, loving others is really loving one's self inasmuch as one comes to realize that "I" am "you" and "you" are "me".

This realization however comes not by logic alone but intuitively. But it should not be dismissed because of that. All knowledge is first intuitive, until it is rationalized, categorized and logically made sense of by the conscious mind. However, what is intuitively obvious is sometimes mashed up into something else entirely by clever but juvenile minds.

Should self-interest in the Randian sense then play no part in our ethics? No. But in moderation.

If self is a continuum, then our ethics should reflect this. What I do, I do for myself, my family, my friends, my neighbor, for mankind and for the world in general. The mature individual realizes that ethics cannot be constructed based on the narowest definition of self alone. But neither can it be defined based solely on any one particular definition of self as well -- whether that be family, friends, tribe or nation. The mature, rational individual should keep all things in balance; and in this balance, his ethics follow.

I am "self" in the narrowest sense; but my "self" also exists in the widest sense that includes "you" and "everything" else. And when this is realized, "self-interest" = "your-interest" = "our interest" = "all interests" = love = transcendence.

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It: Finding Love Beyond Words

Patricia Love, Steven Stosny

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Total reviews: 40 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

Men are right. The “relationship talk” does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and
Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness:

Love is not about better communication.
It's about connection.

You'll never get a closer relationship
with your man by talking to him like you
talk to one of your girlfriends.

Male emotions are like women's sexuality:
you can't be too direct too quickly.

There are four ways to connect with a man:touch, activity, sex, routines.

Men want closer marriages just as much as women do,but not if they has to act like a woman.

Talking makes women move closer;
it makes men move away.

The secret of the silent male is this:
his wife supplies the meaning in his life.

The stunning truth about love is that talking doesn’t help.

Have you ever had this conversation with your spouse?

Wife: “Honey, we need to talk about us.”
Husband: “Do we have to?”

Drs. Patricia Love and Steven Stosny have studied this all-too-familiar dynamic between men and women and have reached a truly shocking conclusion. Even with the best of intentions, talking about your relationship doesn’t bring you together, and it will eventually drive you apart.

The reason for this is that underneath most couples’ fights, there is a biological difference at work. A woman’s vulnerability to fear and anxiety makes her draw closer, while a man’s subtle sensitivity to shame makes him pull away in response. This is why so many married couples fall into the archetypal roles of nagging wife/stonewalling husband, and why improving a marriage can’t happen through words.

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It teaches couples how to get closer in ways that don’t require “trying to turn a man into a woman.” Rich in stories of couples who have turned their marriages around, and full of practical advice about the behaviors that make and break marriages, this essential guide will help couples find love beyond words.

I Think, I Am!: Teaching Kids the Power of Affirmations

Louise Hay, Kristina Tracy

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Total reviews: 2 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

      

“Your thoughts create your life!” This is the message that Louise Hay has been teaching people throughout the world for more than 27 years. Now, children can learn and understand the powerful idea that they have control over their thoughts and words, and in turn, what happens in their life.

      Within the pages of I Think, I Am! kids will find out the difference between negative thoughts and positive affirmations. Fun illustrations and simple text demonstrate how to make the change from negative thoughts and words to those that are positive. The happiness and confidence that come from this ability is something children will carry with them their entire lives!

Pedagogy of the Oppressed

Paulo Freire

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Total reviews: 34 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Change your mind 5 out of 5 stars.
4 of 6 people found this review helpful.

This is a profound little book that makes a cogent argument for effective change in individual and social thought processes. It will change the way you think about oppression and what it actually is for those who are oppressed. This is a book for everyone but especially for those who want to make a change for the better in themselves and the society at large. A thought provoking and challenging book!

Editorial Review:

This text argues that the ignorance and lethargy of the poor are the direct result of the whole economic, social and political domination. By being kept in a situation in which it is practically impossible to achieve a critical awareness and response the disadvantaged are kept "submerged". The book suggests that in some countries the oppressors use the system to maintain this "culture of silence". Through the right kind of education, the book suggests, avoiding authoritarian teacher-pupil models and based on the actual experiences of students and on continual shared investigation, every human being, no matter how impoverished or illiterate, can develop a new awareness of self, and the right to be heard.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families

Stephen R. Covey

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Total reviews: 55 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Valuable CDs 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

Ordered the Steven Covey CD's to listen to and share with my husband. We have both found the CD's to be valuable to our ever changing family life. The discs are clear in their presentation of advice and give sensible suggestions on how to nuture your family in a busy world. Glad to have found this resource and happy to share it!

Editorial Review:

In his first major work since The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven R. Covey presents a practical and philosophical guide to solving the problems--large and small, mundane and extraordinary--that confront all families and strong communities. By offering revealing anecdotes about ordinary people as well as helpful suggestions about changing everyday behavior, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families shows how and why to have family meetings, the importance of keeping promises, how to balance individual and family needs, and how to move from dependence to interdependence. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families is an invaluable guidebook to the welfare of families everywhere.

Reviving Ophelia

Mary Pipher

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 318 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Hopefully there are better books for our girls than this ... 1 out of 5 stars.
1 of 7 people found this review helpful.

While the book had some insights, I nevertheless found it simplistic, unscientific and disappointing. Whoever gave Mary Pipher her Ph.D. must be cringing. The usual suspects are to blame for the problems plagueing our young girls, including the 'feminist' fan favorite, the 'girl-poisioning' society. If you like this kind of pop psychology, then this book is for you. If you are a more serious reader, then move onto something else and save your money. I particularly like the section in the book where Dr. Pipher mentions that '...she knows very little about [the psychology] of boys...' and then spends the next several pages proving it. It can be argued that growing up today is harder than in previous generations and our young girls need help. Sadly, so does this book.

It worked for us 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

All I can say is I had problems with a good kid. The school's guidence counsler recommended Reviving Ophelia. I couldnt put it down.

It doesnt tell you what to do but it does give an understanding of what young girls are up against and what may be going through their heads.In our case it was spot on. With this knowledge you can pry and get a feeling what might be in your kid's head.

Some people are giving this book a basic rating. I dont know how they could unless they have an ax to grind or bigger issues than those in the book. As a layman I'll take a book of case studies over one person's opinion any day. No mold fits all

Best to you and your kids.

Editorial Review:

A clinical psychologist observes the psychological pitfalls faced by teenage girls growing up in a dangerous world in which violence, sexual harassment, eating disorders, promiscuity, and drug use have become the norm.

Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make...

Lois P. Frankel

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Total reviews: 89 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

From a Father's Perspective 4 out of 5 stars.
2 of 2 people found this review helpful.

As a father of two toddler daughters, I read Dr. Frankel's book to open my mind to ways I could avoid instilling in them unhelpful behaviors. I found a well thought out list of workable suggestions focussed mostly on a few central topics - better communication and ways to play "the game" without merely adopting behaviors typical to men. This book does not make judgments about how the business world operates mainly according to historically male behavior. Rather, it focuses on how to work within this world without changing who you are.

Some of the suggestions were definitely simplistic ("have a firm handshake") while others were more involved (defining your "personal brand" and promoting it to others). Mostly they were common sense business tactics and strategies for self marketing that one could find in countless business self-help books. Indeed, I found several helpful suggestions that I felt were applicable to myself. Overall, much of the advice could have been pulled from a bigger picture course for men and women on how to interact more effectively in the workplace.

In Dr. Frankel's book this information is obviously presented from a woman's perspective. She states in the first pages of the book that not all points will apply to any one person, that the way to use the book is to select those behaviors that are the biggest hindrances to the reader's advancement and then follow her advice to change those behaviors. She makes an attempt not to suggest women act like men, but rather "quit bein' a girl".

The tone can sometimes feel condescending which will be off-putting to some readers, but if one looks past this there is a range of good advice covering many topics. Dr. Frankel's frequent use of anecdotes from her consulting career serves to make the book readable without feeling like a textbook or list of action items.

I believe many women would find this book helpful in identifying and modifying behavior that is giving others the wrong impression of who they are or even masking their true capabilities. Men, too, can find new ways to understand women's behavior and hopefully achieve greater communication through that understanding. As a father I feel more aware of some things to focus on or avoid as I raise my daughters. This book will not feel useful to everyone, but for those who approach it with an open mind it can provide new insight into business relationships between the sexes.

The Courage to Heal

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Total reviews: 130 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

The decision to heal from child sexual abuse is a powerful, life-affirming choice.This recording is an inspiring, comprehensive guide that offers hope and encouragement to every woman who was sexually abuse as a child -- and to those who care about her.

Ellen Bass, who has been working with survivors of child sexual abuse for over a decade, and Laura Davis, herself a survivor of child sexual abuse, weave personal experience, professional knowledge, and moving stories and reflections from other survivors, to tell the survivors how she can come to terms with her past while moving powerful into the future.

The Courage To Heal is a sustaining, life-saving recording.

Includes:
Authors' Introduction (created especially for this recording)

The Healing Process
The Decision to Heal; Remembering; Believing It Happened; Breaking Silence; Understanding That It Wasn't Your Fault; The Child Within; Anger -- The Backbone of Healing; Forgiveness?; Resolution and Moving On.

American Pastoral

Philip Roth

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Total reviews: 221 Average rating: 3.5 of 5

Scrupulous Account of a Pivotal Point in America 5 out of 5 stars.
8 of 8 people found this review helpful.

I recently finished an outstandingly beautiful novel (The Master Planets), and immediately went into one of those "I'll-Never-Find-Anything-As-Good-Again" funks. Then I found this book, which is not only a brilliant piece of literature (it's by Roth, after all), but also deals with some fascinating issues similar to those in Planets--issues I wanted to read more about.

As just one example: I am not Jewish, but have noticed in certain writings something uniquely poignant in the Jewish love for America immediately after World War II. This was the country that had taken in many Jews' parents and grandparents in a way never before experienced, I believe. For the first time they were not outsiders, but simply immigrants in a land full of immigrants. And for the first time, every opportunity--in this nation of bounteous opportunities--was open to them. It is not surprising that the name "America" would become almost a hymn on the lips of many American Jews in this period, that they would develop an unparalleled love for their country. As all of America basked in a cornucopian economy and the righteous sense that our own good works had entitled us to it, American Jews were, perhaps, "Ultimate Americans." So it is also not surprising that, like everyone else, they also gave little thought to the idea that the richness of life here might be too well fed by our military industrial complex and exploitation of Third World nations.

The protagonist, Seymour "Swede" Levov, certainly does not think about these things, and therein lies his downfall. As Amazon reviewer Ian Muldoon (above) so aptly notes, the central question of the book is whether it is acceptable for Levov to to accept that he is one of the lucky ones and simply enjoy his place in time and history, or whether his good luck also carries an obligation. An inherently decent man, Levov does not look beyond his own life to wonder if it impinges on the lives of others. But his daughter cannot feel so sanguine. Merry has not had the good fortune of Seymour and his wife to be thought "perfect": She grew up with a terrible stutter, over which her beautiful parents agonized. Is this what gave her the ability (willingness? determination?) to see the fissures in the edifice they revere? In any event, she sees the fissures yawning, and her answer is to place sticks of dynamite in them -- and later to withdraw so far from the world that she scarcely eats so as not to "destroy plant life," and will not even wash for fear of "harming the water." She has started by demolishing the world around her, and is now obliterating herself. Miraculously, the stutter that at one time "terrified" Levov is gone... as she herself soon will be.

American Pastoral is the story of a beautiful nation that, about 40 years ago, let some part of its best self slip away. As the "Ultimate American," Levov is the perfect symbol. As he thinks, so thought we.

Editorial Review:

As the American century draws to an uneasy close, Philip Roth gives us a novel of unqualified greatness that is an elegy for all our century's promises of prosperity, civic order, and domestic bliss. Roth's protagonist is Swede Levov, a legendary athlete at his Newark high school, who grows up in the booming postwar years to marry a former Miss New Jersey, inherit his father's glove factory, and move into a stone house in the idyllic hamlet of Old Rimrock. And then one day in 1968, Swede's beautiful American luck deserts him.

For Swede's adored daughter, Merry, has grown from a loving, quick-witted girl into a sullen, fanatical teenager—a teenager capable of an outlandishly savage act of political terrorism. And overnight Swede is wrenched out of the longer-for American pastoral and into the indigenous American berserk. Compulsively readable, propelled by sorrow, rage, and a deep compassion for its characters, this is Roth's masterpiece.