Marriage & Family Books - Page 13

No Disrespect

Sister Souljah

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 113 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Harsh realities 4 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

Sistah Souljah created an honest look at the truths of society. To call her a racist for being honest reporting her realities and what she has witnessed in her work and service to communities is mere ignorance. I do not fully agree with every word Sistah writes. However, I commend her honesty, her openness, and her consciousness.

The book is a must read regardless if one agrees or disagrees. It is not to be used as a life manual. It is to be used as a mirror, or a stepping stone. If you are the person she regrets being or you want to elevate to another level the book will give you insight that may not be easily found in accessible literature.

Editorial Review:

Rapper, activist, and hip-hop rebel, Sister Souljah possesses the most passionate and articulate voice to emerge from the projects. Now she uses that voice to deliver what is at once a fiercely candid autobiography and a survival manual for any African American woman determined to keep her heart open and her integrity intact in 1990s America.


From the Trade Paperback edition.

Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 158 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Trendy 1 out of 5 stars.
1 of 2 people found this review helpful.

There are some useful ideas in this,if you have the time to sift through the marketing jargon, but it seems more trendy than useful.

Editorial Review:

The spirited child -- often called "difficult" -- can easily overwhelm parents, leaving them feeling frustrated and inadequate. Spirited kids are, in fact simply more intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent, and uncomfortable with change than the average child. Through vivid examples and a refreshingly positive viewpoint, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka offers parents emotional support and proven strategies for handling their spirited child. She will help you:

• Understand your child's -- and your own -- temperamental traits
• Discover the power of positive -- rather than negative -- labels
• Cope with tantrums and blowups when they do occur
• Develop strategies for handling mealtimes, bedtimes, holidays, school, and many other situations

Filled with personal insight and authoritative advice, Raising Your Spirited Child can help make parenting the joy it should be, rather than the trial it can be.

Your six-year-old: Defiant but loving

Louise Bates Ames

By: Delacorte Press Amazon Marketplace: 11 new & used starting at $2.38

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 18 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Therapy for the Mom of a Six-Year Old 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

"It's just a phase," characterizes most of childhood, but some phases are harder than others. And that's where I found myself with my six-year-old. Overnight she became whiny, clingy, and defiant one minute and her normal good-natured self the next.

Reading this book gave me great insight into her behavior and reassured me that this phase too will pass.

Editorial Review:

The six-year-old is a complex child, entirely  different from the five-year-old. Though many of the  changes are for the good -- Six is growing more  mature, more independent, more daring and  adventurous -- this is not necessarily an easy time for the  little girl or boy. Relationships with mothers are  troubled -- most of the time Six adores mother,  but whenever things go wrong, it's her fault. It  used to be, at Five, that she was the center of the  child's universe; now, the child is the center of  his own universe.

Parents need the expert  advice of Drs. Ames and Ilg during this difficult  year, to explain parent-child relations,  friendships with peers, what six-year-olds excel at, how  they see the world, what it feels like to be  entering the first grade. Children need patience and  understanding to help make this transition easier.

There Are No Children Here: The Story of Two Boys Growing Up in The Other America

Alex Kotlowitz

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 92 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

The other America indeed 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 2 people found this review helpful.

Nice mix of anecdote and historical background on life in inner city America. Excellent insight into the everyday difficulties faced by families and some of the root causes. This book, though almost 20 years old, still has a message that needs to be heard.

There are No Children Here: The Story of Two Boys Growing Up in the Other America 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 2 people found this review helpful.

I found this book both rewarding and disturbing at the same time but appreciated that it took me out of my middle class comfort zone and reminded me that there are social and cultural inequities that continue to cry out urgently for solutions.
Mr Kotlowitz has the ability to describe the lives of two young gentle souls who are raised as best their mother can against a system that tolerates, shamefully, physical surrounds and economic deprivations that most of us can only guess at.
The author narrates his observations as he follows the children around and describes how they deal with the life they are dealt and the heroics involved in order to do so over a two year period.
I think that the way we are shown how their loving mother has to go about her daily life should awaken in all of us a desire to help in any way we can, to find ways to ease the life of those who live in sub standard housing and the lack of more assistance to live a more comfortable and nurturing life.
Without tackling such issues, we continue to condemn our youngsters to a way of life that inhibits their potential and ingrains the social ills that contribute significantly to their development.
Mr Kotlowitz,in deciding to help those youngster personally, to give them the opportunity to study at a private school, whether they did or did not ultimately benefit from his generosity, is an example most of us can only dream about.
I highly recommend this book to all who may wish to gain insight into a class in our society that cries out for understanding and assistance.

Editorial Review:

This is the moving and powerful account of two  remarkable boys struggling to survive in Chicago's  Henry Horner Homes, a public housing complex  disfigured by crime and neglect.

The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Are Used Against Women

Naomi Wolf

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 83 Average rating: 3.5 of 5

A Very Important Book 4 out of 5 stars.
3 of 3 people found this review helpful.

The Beauty Myth is a must have for every woman in the world and the men who love them. Naomi Wolf hit the nail on the head about the isolating effect the beauty myth has on women, ie: women viewing each other with suspicion, women enacting painful, masochistic rituals to be "thin enough", "young-looking enough" and "pretty enough", while blinding women to the larger reality of the world like workplace inequality, economic inequality, lack of political power and the lack of intellectual freedom. How can they pay attention when all they can think about are their physical "flaws"? Except that's exactly where the powers of the society wants them - beaten down, fearful of oneself and each other and generally viewing oneself of low self worth. When you feel like that, you are no threat to the oppressive forces in society. In short, I completely agree with Naomi that the beauty myth has served as a distraction for women to keep them from realizing their full potential. Make sure that your teenage daughter has a copy of this book! It will be the most rebellious and courageous thing she's ever done - to face up to the ugly realities that are stacked against her. To dare to be different than pop culture's dictates.

As for men, this book can illuminate to them how women think. If any man has ever wondered "what was she thinking?" or "why can't she be happy with her weight/hair/thighs, etc..." this book is for you. Especially if you find yourself unable to reach her and help her through her self-imposed exile and depression. While it's not a magic bullet to break through that prison, it helps if you speak the language.

Another strength of her book is the historical approach to attitudes of sexism. They are so deeply ingrained that many readers will be shocked to find out that these attitudes aren't "moral or "natural" but rather, are leftover wrong thinking from earlier days. For example, the idea that women must suffer simply for being female (ie: able to have babies) is an ancient poison. No doubt, we are seeing this play out as anti-choicers bomb clinics, take to the courts and other tools at their disposal to make sure that women go back to being unable to choose when they want to have a baby, because suffering is the female way. Which comes from their desire to punish women for enjoying sex, which is another ancient, ingrained attitude. When viewed in historical context, their attitudes don't seem so holy. (They never were) Merely unexamined prejudices. (Which unfortunately, affects people other than themselves.)

The only criticism of this book that I have is that I wish the book made more of an effort to distinguish between deliberate malice against women versus impersonal indifference. At times, this book makes it seem like every injustice against women is a result of conspiracy by the powers that be. But more likely, they are the result of indifference and unawareness. Sure, the end result is the same - women feeling down-trodden and sapped of all sense of power and agency, but it helps to clarify which problems can be solved with more awareness and education, and which problems can be better solved with passionate protests and political solutions that right these injustices.

Editorial Review:

The bestselling classic that redefined our view od the relationship between beauty and female identity.

In today's world, women have more power, legal recognition, and professional success than ever before. Alongside the evident progress of the women's movement, however, writer and journalist Naomi Wolf is troubled by a different kind of social control, which, she argues, may prove just as restrictive as the traditional image of homemaker and wife. It's the beauty myth, an obsession with physical perfection that traps the modern woman in an endless spiral of hope, self-consciousness, and self-hatred as she tries to fulfill society's impossible definition of "the flawless beauty."

Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood

William Pollack

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 117 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

Boys today are in crisis. On the surface, many boys may appear tough, confident, and cheerful, but underneath, many of them are sad,
lonely, and confused. As the bestselling Reviving Ophelia took us into the worlds of girls, this groundbreaking book reveals the worlds of
boys to show how society's mixed messages to boys put more of them at risk today than ever before. Boys' voices and experiences rise up
from these pages as Dr. William Pollack of the Harvard Medical School draws on almost two decades of work with boys as well as on a recent
study called "Listening to Boys' Voices" to present new findings about the true nature of boys and new insights into how to raise them to
become happier, more confident, more successful men.
        "I get a little down," says Adam,"but I hide it very well. I'd say I wear a mask of some sort. Even when kids call me names or try to taunt me,
I'd never show them how much it was crushing me inside. I'd keep it all in."
        Pollack reveals how many boys today are like Adam, whose confident exterior hides painful feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Other boys are in trouble overtly--depressed, suicidal, doing less well at school than they could, having trouble with drugs or with friends.
Real Boys shows why, and what to do about it. Pollack describes how outdated gender stereotypes push boys to conform to society's inhibiting
Boy Code, even as boys are pressured to relate to girls in new ways. Boys conceal themselves behind a mask of independence, which not only
prevents them from truly knowing themselves but makes it difficult for us to know them. Conventional expectations about masculinity still
encourage people to treat boys like "little men," and to raise them through a toughening process. Illuminating the daily lives of boys of all ages,
Real Boys lets us know what boys are really like, revealing new findings about the expressive nature of boys, how they are different from girls and
how they are similar to them, and wh
at they are thinking and feeling.
        Pollack addresses a wide range of topics--boys and their mothers, fathers, friends; boys in school, sports, and adolescence; how boys can
develop more self-confidence, and the emotional savvy they need to deal with issues they may have to confront--such as depression, love and
sexuality, drugs and alcohol, divorce, violence.
        After you read this original and insightful book, you will see every boy you know in an entirely new way.

Based on new research into the inner worlds and daily lives of boys today,  Real Boys explores in depth the following:
¸  The loneliness of "normal" boys today--what we do to cause it, and what we can      
   do to prevent it

¸  Low self-esteem--why more boys today are suffering from low self-esteem and
   what we can do about it

¸  The power of mothers and fathers--how to help boys become more confident,
    loving, and able to lead happier lives as men

¸   Adolescence as a "second chance"--how to use adolescence as a new  opportunity          
   to grow closer to a boy and to help him deal with  such topics as smoking, drinking,      
   and sex

¸  Getting boys to talk--the timed-silence syndrome and how to encourage boys to
   talk and share their feelings

¸  Overcoming depression--the hidden crisis of boyhood depression: how to spot it,
   and what to do about it

¸  Violence, alcohol, drugs, and much, much more

Princess: A True Story of Life Behind the Veil in Saudi Arabia

Jean P. Sasson

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 303 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

No... I don't think so... 1 out of 5 stars.
12 of 16 people found this review helpful.

I read this when I was high school and was shocked and appalled at how those poor Middle Eastern women live. Now grown, I have Middle Eastern female friends who laugh their head off at this book. Perhaps some of the incidents that are related happened, but I highly doubt they happened to the same person. It's like if someone from Saudi Arabia came here and wrote a book, "Senator's Daughter" or something. The girl was sexually abused starting at age 3, starved by her mother so she wouldn't get fat, pressured into sexually servicing the football team. The father has affairs with both women and men, is a pedophile, and likes to torture cats. The mother is a beaten-down woman who undergoes dozens of plastic surgery procedures and ends up locked in an insane asylum. Have these incidents, separately, happened to American females? Yes. Are they representative of American women, or senator's daughters? Nope. I suspect Jean Sasson did something similar, and it completely destroys any argument she was trying to make! A fun read, but don't take it as gospel.

Editorial Review:

Sultana, a Saudi Arabian princess whose real identity must remain concealed, is born to fabulous wealth but has no freedom, as she is imprisoned in a gilded cage by her father, her husband, her sons, and her country. (Biography)

The Thing About Life Is That One Day You'll Be Dead

David Shields

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Total reviews: 81 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

“David Shields has accomplished something here so pure and wide in its implications that I almost think of it as a secular, unsentimental Kahlil Gibran: a textbook for the acceptance of our fate on earth.” —Jonathan Lethem

Mesmerized—at times unnerved—by his ninety-seven-year-old father’s nearly superhuman vitality and optimism, David Shields undertakes an investigation of the human physical condition. The result is this exhilarating book: both a personal meditation on mortality and an exploration of flesh-and-blood existence from crib to oblivion—an exploration that paradoxically prompts a renewed and profound appreciation of life.

Shields begins with the facts of birth and childhood, expertly weaving in anecdotal information about himself and his father. As the book proceeds through adolescence, middle age, old age, he juxtaposes biological details with bits of philosophical speculation, cultural history and criticism, and quotations from a wide range of writers and thinkers—from Lucretius to Woody Allen—yielding a magical whole: the universal story of our bodily being, a tender and often hilarious portrait of one family.

A book of extraordinary depth and resonance, The Thing About Life Is That One Day You’ll Be Dead will move readers to contemplate the brevity and radiance of their own sojourn on earth and challenge them to rearrange their thinking in unexpected and crucial ways.

Shattered Dreams: My Life as a Polygamist's Wife

Irene Spencer

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 93 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

The best of the scary bunch 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

This is the fourth book I have recently read by women who have left polygamy behind, and I found it to be the best of the bunch. Although it is frightening to realize that this lifestyle is still endured in the 21st century and in America, I try to read up on the subject so that I can try to gain some understanding. Each book I read just makes me wonder all the more how these women can stand these husbands who ignore them and their children so shamefully. Not just stand them, actually, but yearn for them.
Irene's book was, in my opinion, the most well-crafted of the books I have read by these women. In some of the others I found the wives to be a little less candid than Irene is, and they seem to try to make more excuses for themselves than Irene does. The most puzzling thing to me, especially after reading another book about the same husband by one of Irene's "sister-wives," is how they all go crazy trying to get their husband's attention and affection when he so clearly only cares about himself and "the Principle." The wives are starved for affection and the children are just plain starving. I understand that they are brought up to believe that this lifestyle is divinely ordained, yet the men involved are such total creeps that you wonder how any woman can yearn for them.
Irene gives a very vivid and clear portrait of the years she spent in polygamy, and how she finally emerged to enter into a happy marriage with one man who cherished only her. It is heartbreaking to see how she threw away so many good years, but her (13)! children seem to be a blessing to her. I am so happy that she has found peace and joy at last.

Editorial Review:

Irene Spencer did as she felt God
commanded in marrying her
brother-in-law Verlan LeBaron, becoming
his second wife. When the
government raided the fundamentalist, polygamous
Mormon village of Short Creek, Arizona,
Irene and her family fled to
Verlan's brothers' Mexican ranch.
They lived in squalor and desolate
conditions in the Mexican desert
with Verlan's six brothers, one sister,
and numerous wives and children.
Readers will be appalled and
astonished, but most amazingly,
greatly inspired. Irene's dramatic
story reveals how far religion can
be stretched and abused and how one woman and her
children found their way out, into truth and redemption.

101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last

Linda Bloom, Charlie Bloom

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 19 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

101 Ways to Strengthen and Enrich Your Marriage 5 out of 5 stars.
8 of 8 people found this review helpful.

"Marriage is not a fixed entity but a work in progress, inviting ongoing refinement." ~ pg. 20

One of the things I've realized after twelve years of marriage is that reading books about marriage has truly helped me not to become a statistic. While over half of all marriages end in divorce it is not necessary to end a relationship just because you have conflict. Linda and Charlie Bloom show couples how to communicate effectively to dissolve conflict and open the way to a more nurturing relationship. Instead of expecting there to be no arguments, the authors explain how to argue so you both win.

"Love isn't always enough to sustain a marriage." ~ pg. 63
"The real issue is usually not the one you're arguing about." ~ pg. 70

I found these two thoughts to be especially true in my own marriage. When there is conflict a deep commitment to the marriage can help you survive rough spots. From the stories in this book you can also see beyond what couples are fighting about to get to what couples actually want from a marriage. Linda and Charlie Bloom encourage couples to ask for what they truly want instead of dwelling on the negatives.

Throughout this book you can learn about what holds a marriage together and what drives people apart. By reading the 101 ideas you can learn how to deepen trust and intimacy in any marriage. There is also an interesting story of how members of a tribe in Africa handle marital problems.

While the authors do spend a lot of time showing how unrealistic expectations can set you up for disappointment they also explore the idea of how raising your expectations for a good marriage can also work in your favor. By following the practical advice in this book you can heal a broken marriage and save yourself the pain of divorce.

~The Rebecca Review

Editorial Review:

With the divorce rate spiking at a dizzying 60 percent, it’s safe to assume that young couples and experienced partners alike may lack the skills and understanding necessary to sustain a committed relationship. Psychotherapists Linda and Charlie Bloom present 101 techniques delivering practical guidance and make it clear that, regardless of past experience, anyone can develop the basic strengths, skills, and capacities needed for a great relationship. Each lesson is presented as a simple, one-line thought followed by an explanation using real life examples — from the authors' own experiences in sustaining their marriage of 31 years to those of the thousands of couples they've professionally counseled or who have taken the Blooms' life relationship seminars. This book demonstrates how anyone can find ways out of a painful relationship, and how couples can enrich their own relationships through working through love's challenges.