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How to Talk So Kids Will Listen...And Listen So Kids Will Talk

Adele Faber

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen...And Listen So Kids Will Talk Adele Faber List Price: $12.00
By: Nightingale-Conant
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Subjects -> Nonfiction -> Social Sciences -> General AAS
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 184 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

Get your kids' cooperation...without arguing. Morning hassles and bedtime battles disappear when you apply the communication techniques these experts have been teaching parents nationwide. Even if you've felt you had no other alternative than to lecture or criticize, you'll be able to reduce the wear and tear on yourself and your family with this practical program. Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish -- once frustrated mothers themselves -- use real-life situations to show how you can respect and respond to your child's feelings and satisfy your own needs. You'll learn to: Avoid turning simple conversations into arguments Instruct rather than criticize when correcting your child Choose effective alternatives to punishment Show your child how to make amends Allow him to experience the direct consequences of his actions See immediate changes in your relationship with your children -- changes that will mean the difference between bad feelings and good ones; between fighting and loving.

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most

Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, Roger Fisher

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, Roger Fisher Amazon Price: $10.20
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By: Penguin (Non-Classics)
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 133 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

Members of the Harvard Negotiation Project--which brought you the mega-bestseller Getting to YES--show you how to handle your most difficult conversations with confidence and skill.

Whether you're dealing with an underperforming employee, disagreeing with your spouse about money or child-rearing, negotiating with a difficult client, or simply saying "no," or "I'm sorry," or "I love you," we attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day. Based on fifteen years of research at the Harvard Negotiation Project, Difficult Conversations walks you through a step-by-step proven approach to having your toughest conversations with less stress and more success. You will learn:
how to start the conversation without defensiveness
why what is not said is as important as what is
ways of keeping and regaining your balance in the face of attacks and accusations
how to decipher the underlying structure of every difficult conversation

Filled with examples from everyday life, Difficult Conversations will help you on the job, at home, or out in the world. It is a book you will turn to again and again for advice, practical skills, and reassurance.

"Does this book deliver on [its] promise of an effective way through sticky situations, whether 'with your baby sitter or your biggest client'? It does."-- The New York Times

"These talented communicators blend a daunting array of disciplines into highly readable and practical advice."-- Booklist

"Brilliant. . . . I've already re-read most of it. I'm using it. What more could a reader ask?"-- Tom Peters

"Emotional Intelligence applied to life's tough moments."-- Daniel Goleman

Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work & in Life, One Conversation at a Time

Susan Scott

Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work & in Life, One Conversation at a Time Susan Scott List Price: $25.95
By: Penguin Group / Viking Studio
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 39 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

Fierce Conversations is a way of conducting business. An attitude. A way of life. Susan Scott has spent sixteen years training clients in the art of fierce conversations, empowering them to achieve exceptional results through successful communication. Now she brings her expertise to readers everywhere.

Fierce Conversations illuminates the path to a new degree of authenticity, a new way of expressing who you are and what you believe, as a person and a leader. In it, Scott explains the keys to regularly engaging in frontier conversations with yourself, colleagues, customers, friends, family, and the unknown future emerging around you.

Fierce Conversations teaches you how to:

*overcome barriers to meaningful conversation
* master the courage and skill to interrogate reality-yours and others'
* obey your instincts in every conversation
* confront tough issues with courage, confidence, and care
* inspire followers, attract believers, and build visions that become reality
* leverage new skills for frictionless debate
* handle strong emotions-your own as well as others'
* operate from a base of authentic self-knowledge
* enrich your most challenging relationships
* build breakthrough relationships with colleagues, clients, friends, and family

Having mastered the principles and practice of courageous, transformative dialogue, you will begin to change your life-one conversation at a time.

"A rare and delightful blend of stimulating ideas and practical advice. Exciting and well written, Fierce Conversations is the perfect gift for anyone you care about, and above all yourself! This is a book you'll treasure and, I predict, will want to reread often." (Sheldon Bowles, co-author of Gung Ho! Turn On the People in Any Organization)

"When the authentic conversations so clearly described in this book book catch on everywhere, it will be the end of gossip, corporate politics, bad marriages, and 360o feedback. Fierce Conversations is today's primer for success as well as for survival in our ever-changing world." (Stephen C. Lundin, Ph.D., Harry Paul, and John Christensen, co-author Fish! and Fish! Tales)

"Susan Scott delivers a wealth of uncommon common sense in Fierce Conversations. Her warmth and skill as coach and counselor provide the healthy nudges we all need from time to time to jump in, get engaged, and manage ourselves and the world around us more directly, positively and productively. It's a reminder that 'the way out is through,' and she provides great techniques for navigating the passage." (David Allen, President of David Allen & Co. and author of Getting Things Done

"If conversations are the lifeblood of our most important relationships, this book is a transfusion of ideas and inspiration. Susan Scott has written a life-affirming primer for moving us toward the conversations we need to have most." (Doug Stone, co-author of Difficult Conversations)

"The path to a fierce conversation is lined with the velvet words of wisdom of Susan Scott. Her deep insights artfully show us how most life problems can be solved or dissolved with a fierce conversation." (Arielle Ford, President of the Ford Group and author of Magical Souvenirs: True Spiritual Adventures From Around the World)

"I was captivated by this magnificent book right from the start. Fierce Conversations insightfully captures and clearly interrogates the heart of 'real' conversation. Spending time with Susan Scott's principles has the potential to make a significant difference in our work, our relationships, and in our understanding of ourselves." (Richard Carr, President & CEO, TEC International)

"Susan Scott is the master teacher of positive change through powerful communication." (Peter Neill, Executive Director, AT&T Wireless)

"I love this book. What a refreshing departure from typical management superficialities! Susan Scott zeros in brilliantly, and charmingly, on the single most important activity of management and leadership-engagement through conversation-and she does it not by offering simplistic techniques, but by fostering what people appreciate most in their managers-genuineness. A must read for managers certainly-and for anyone who cares about improving relationships." (Richard Farson, President, Western Behavioral Sciences Institute, and co-author of Whoever Makes the Most Mistakes Wins: The Paradox of Innovation

"Susan Scott's emphasis on authentic communications, like all good therapy, directs readers to become conscious of their inner conflicts. She encourages readers to reach for their more authentic growth tendencies and ultimately to seek the rewards of self-actualization. She quite accurately directs readers to recognize that life's distress is often the result of inauthenticity. She builds a strong case and provides helpful tools for becoming more authentic." (Stephen M. Pfeiffer, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist and Executive Director of the Association for the Advancement of Psychology)

"A fierce convesation propels you from your mind into your guts, giving you the strength and confidence to make rapid and insightful decisions." (Victor Villasenor, author of Rain of Gold)

Envisioning Information

Edward R. Tufte

Envisioning Information Edward R. Tufte Amazon Price: $34.56
List Price: $48.00
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By: Graphics Press
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 52 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

A Continually Rewarding Gem 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

Every time I go back to this book I get something more out of it. Over the past 10 years I've been through my copy a couple of dozen times. If communicating information is important to you, you should take a look at this classic.

A very good resource 3 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

Nutshell review - This is a beautiful resource on presenting information in a myriad of ways with many examples of good and bad design. Beautifully illustrated.

Portable affordable art 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

Tufte follows up his debut classic with an even more beautiful piece of graphic art disguised as a guide to ways to display three (and more) dimensions on a flat surface.

While even more beautifully crafted than The Visual Display of Quantitative Information, 2nd edition, it has less in the way of practical guidance. Tufte's principle here can be reduced to this far-reaching but not so simply-implemented statement: increase the resolution of "flatland" (paper or computer screen) to show more data to increase clarity.

As usual, the principle is lavishly illustrated with beautifully-reproduced examples of good and bad ways of envisioning information. In fact, I have found Tufte's principle and illustrations are useful ways of thinking about how to improve my own graphics, but I find my ability to implement them frustrated by the limitations of the design tools I use most: Excel, PowerPoint, Project, Word, wikis. That is a negative reflection on the tools, not on Tufte.

In any case, enjoy Tufte's books now for the portable affordable art that they are, and hope for the tools to catch up soon.

Editorial Review:

A remarkable range of examples for the idea of visual thinking, with beautifully printed pages. A real treat for all who reason and learn by means of images. -- Rudolf Arnheim

The Art of Public Speaking, 10th Edition

Stephen E. Lucas

The Art of Public Speaking, 10th Edition Stephen E. Lucas Amazon Price: $100.00
Not yet published
By: McGraw-Hill Humanities/Social Sciences/Languages

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 39 Average rating: 3.5 of 5

Beware of binding. 3 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

This is a good textbook for anyone who wants an overview on the elements of speaking in public. The content is broad, but not too deep. It puts perspective on oration that I had not considered before. There is a lot of practical thinking woven into the chapters.

However, buyers beware! I bought the ring-bound edition, not understanding that I would have to provide my own 3-ring binder. It was a complete buyer error, but be advised to consider the binding of your textbook. Acquaint yourself with the various types of binding (i.e., spiral, ring, etc.) and identify your preferences.

Editorial Review:

By far the leading speech textbook of our time, The Art of Public Speaking has defined the art of being the best for more than 10 million students and instructors. Whether a novice or an experienced speaker, every student will learn how to be a better public speaker through Lucas' clear explanations of classical and contemporary theory and thorough coverage of practical applications. The new edition offers an innovative new digital experience--Connect Lucas. Bridging the printed page with the spoken word, this revolutionary Web site will allow students and instructors to access a complete media and research library, study and speech preparation tools, and a completely integrated media-rich textbook in a dynamic online environment (www.connectlucas.com)

Please Understand Me: Character & Temperment Types

David Keirsey, Marilyn Bates

Please Understand Me: Character & Temperment Types David Keirsey, Marilyn Bates Amazon Price: $29.95
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By: Prometheus Nemesis Book Company
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 89 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Helps to understand yourself 5 out of 5 stars.
2 of 2 people found this review helpful.

Please Understand Me is an old book on personality and a good book. It helps you to understand the stable personality traits that you cannot change in the Kiersey model of personality which is a lot like the Myers Briggs. All in all an informative read.

The Personality Code is another great personality book that's neat because it's more modern and includes a code that lets you go online and take a personality test. It also breaks people down into 14 types and shows you which of the 14 is your anti type.

Knowing there is a problem is half the battle... 3 out of 5 stars.
2 of 2 people found this review helpful.

As a military leader, it is essential to motivate your organization. "Please Understand Me: Character & Temperament Types", by Keirsey and Bates, is an excellent primer in basic personality types.

With an understanding of the basic temperament types, leaders will be able to identify key attributes of each of the temperament types in their workers. Some people will fit the cookie-cutter descriptions quite nicely, others may vary their temperament types depending on the situation. The ability to recognize the key attributes to each of the temperaments will enable you to apply the right motivation technique at the time.

What's the right motivation technique to apply? This book doesn't answer that question, which is my main complaint with it.

This book is a fascinating look at the basic personality types. It was a great read, but I was looking for more.

Editorial Review:

This book is excellent for understanding your own character and it is in new conditions. No marks or breaks on any of the pages.

Amusing Ourselves to Death

Neil Postman

Amusing Ourselves to Death Neil Postman List Price: $11.95
By: Viking Adult
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 126 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Judge a book by its cover 5 out of 5 stars.
8 of 8 people found this review helpful.

Just today I logged on to one of the biggest news channels' website (CNN) and on the front page under "Popular News" was the following headline: "Is that Miley Cyrus flashing her bra on the Web?" I had just finished my second reading of this book and it seemed like a stark reminder of what Neil Postman was talking about over 20 years ago, how television has drastically changed our culture and redefined everything in our society from news to politics, education and even religion. I don't know of any book written during my lifetime that is more socially relevant and whose message is more important to be read and understood by the general public.

In Chapter 6, "The Age of Show Business", Postman writes, "To say television is entertaining is merely banal. Such a fact is hardly threatening to a culture, not even worth writing a book about. It may even be a reason for rejoicing. Life, as we like to say, is not a highway strewn with flowers. The sight of a few blossoms here and there may make our journey more endurable." He goes on to point out that the problem is not that there are entertaining shows on television, but that in order to accommodate itself to the demands of television, *everything* must be presented as entertainment. In order to generate ratings, advertisers and ultimately revenue, no subject is too serious to be presented in any way other than the one that attracts the most viewers. When the local news reports about a murder, it has no relevant meaning to our lives and it's not told so much to inform us of the tragedy of a murder but because it is the most exciting and what people want to see. News producers have a motto for this, "If it bleeds it leads."

Probably the most alarming example Postman cites is how television has changed politics and political discourse. This is where the transformation from a word-based media to an image-based media is felt the most strongly. Politicians have realized that the content of what they say is now largely irrelevant compared to how they appear, how they present themselves. Postman uses the example that when Ted Kennedy made a run for the presidency, Richard Nixon offered him the following advice: "Lose twenty pounds." Nixon had been in politics most of his adult life and knew the name of the game well, that one's ideas, beliefs, actions and words are now almost completely irrelevant in a world where nearly everyone has started getting their information from television only. Before Mike Huckabee entered this political race, he lost over a hundred pounds. If you look at photographs of presidents throughout our history, you notice that most of them certainly never got anywhere in life because of their looks and some of them are downright ugly men. Political races are now completely decided in the arena of television and their coverage of it has become absurd and embarassing. This is the change that Postman has tried to point out, that a literate culture that depends on the printed word for information and communication creates a vastly different culture from one that depends on images, ten second soundbites and information that has no context or relevance to anyone's life, like what Miley Cyrus or Paris Hilton is up to.

It has been over twenty years since Neil Postman wrote this but his ideas are even more relevant today. This book should be read and understood by everyone but it mostly falls on deaf ears. I think it was Mark Twain who said that the man who doesn't read has no advantage over the man who can't read. Television is now an integral part of life not only in America but in Europe, China and pretty much any other developed nation. This would not be a problem but, as Postman points out, one of the nasty side effects of television is that it has degraded literacy rates, so that every year we hear that people are reading less and less. People and specifically children spend an alarming amount of their free time watching television and to get them to read you practically have to force it upon them. Once in a while a book like Harry Potter will become a hit but for many children and even adults that was the only book they purchased or even attempted to read in an entire year. We hear that children in this country are performing worse every year in school but the finger is never pointed at the obvious culprit because we hear about this on TV.

Editorial Review:

A brilliant powerful and important book....This is a brutal indictment Postman has laid down and, so far as I can see, an irrefutable one. --Jonathan Yardley, Washington Post Book World.

The Alex Studies: Cognitive and Communicative Abilities of Grey Parrots

Irene Maxine Pepperberg

The Alex Studies: Cognitive and Communicative Abilities of Grey Parrots Irene Maxine Pepperberg Amazon Price: $21.60
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By: Harvard University Press
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 12 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

Can a parrot understand complex concepts and mean what it says? Since the early 1900s, most studies on animal-human communication have focused on great apes and a few cetacean species. Birds were rarely used in similar studies on the grounds that they were merely talented mimics--that they were, after all, "birdbrains." Experiments performed primarily on pigeons in Skinner boxes demonstrated capacities inferior to those of mammals; these results were thought to reflect the capacities of all birds, despite evidence suggesting that species such as jays, crows, and parrots might be capable of more impressive cognitive feats.

Twenty years ago Irene Pepperberg set out to discover whether the results of the pigeon studies necessarily meant that other birds--particularly the large-brained, highly social parrots--were incapable of mastering complex cognitive concepts and the rudiments of referential speech. Her investigation and the bird at its center--a male Grey parrot named Alex--have since become almost as well known as their primate equivalents and no less a subject of fierce debate in the field of animal cognition. This book represents the long-awaited synthesis of the studies constituting one of the landmark experiments in modern comparative psychology.

People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts

Robert Bolton

People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts Robert Bolton Amazon Price: $10.19
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 40 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

A wall of silent resentment shuts you off from someone you love....You listen to an argument in which neither party seems to hear the other....Your mind drifts to other matters when people talk to you....

People Skills is a communication-skills handbook that can help you eliminate these and other communication problems. Author Robert Bolton describes the twelve most common communication barriers, showing how these "roadblocks" damage relationships by increasing defensiveness, aggressiveness, or dependency. He explains how to acquire the ability to listen, assert yourself, resolve conflicts, and work out problems with others. These are skills that will help you communicate calmly, even in stressful emotionally charged situations.

People Skills will show you

* How to get your needs met using simple assertion techniques

* How body language often speaks louder than words

* How to use silence as a valuable communication tool

* How to de-escalate family disputes, lovers' quarrels, and other heated arguments

Both thought-provoking and practical, People Skills is filled with workable ideas that you can use to improve your communication in meaningful ways, every day.

The Fine Art of Small Talk: How To Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills -- and Leave a Positive Impression!

Debra Fine

The Fine Art of Small Talk: How To Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills -- and Leave a Positive Impression! Debra Fine Amazon Price: $11.53
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 63 Average rating: 3.5 of 5

A lot of Technique but very little Social IQ 2 out of 5 stars.
2 of 3 people found this review helpful.

Based on some of the 4 and 5 stars reviews here I approached this book with excitement and high expectations only to be let down - hard.

The author states that her background is in Engineering and, frankly, I'm not surprised. The "problem" of small talk and conversation is treated like an engineering project rather than the fine art that it truly is (regardless the title). If you're an engineer (like I am) you might be tempted to believe that the litany of manipulative formulas presented here actually make sense and will work. And, I'm sure that they do - with OTHER socially challenged engineers (and others who are socially awkward). So, it's hardly surprising that the Author's client list is filled with companies with a strong engineering culture!

However, in the rest of the real world they're finding out that what is truly effective when it comes to relationships and conversations is "Social IQ". So, therefore, in leiu of this book I would recommend any of the following:

Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships

Social Intelligence: The New Science of Success

AND that is what is sorely (I would even say conspicuously) missing from this book. Without Social IQ the techniques outlined here are not only ineffective they could be downright irritating to "normies". (and, speaking as an engineer, I would be hard pressed to call most engineers "normal" when it comes to social matters)

However, if you develop Social IQ the techniques that are presented in this book would actually be quite effective - powerful in fact. So this reviewer's consumer advice would be, get this book AFTER you've developed (or refined) your Social IQ skills. Then you will have the essential skills required to be a superb conversationalist and friend!

This may sound daunting (it was for me) but, believe it or not it really isn't and you probably have all that you need lying latent inside you! Social IQ -- that's the key NOT JUST the words and approach that you use.

Editorial Review:

Nationally recognized communication expert Debra Fine reveals the techniques and strategies anyone can use to make small talk-in any situationDo you spend an abnormal amount of time hiding out in the bathroom or hanging out at the buffet table at social gatherings? Does the thought of striking up a conversation with a stranger make your stomach do flip-flops? Do you sit nervously through job interviews waiting for the other person to speak? Are you a -Nervous Ned or Nellie+ when it comes to networking? Then it+s time you mastered The Fine Art of Small Talk.With practical advice and conversation -cheat sheets,+ The Fine Art of Small Talk will help you learn to feel more comfortable in any type of social situation, from lunch with the boss to an association event to a cocktail party where you don+t know a soul.

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