Gary Chapman
![Loving Solutions : Overcoming Barriers in Your Marriage Gary Chapman]( "Loving Solutions : Overcoming Barriers in Your Marriage Gary Chapman")
By: Moody Press
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Subjects -> Health, Mind & Body -> Relationships -> Marriage
Subjects -> Health, Mind & Body -> Self-Help -> General
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 4
Average rating: 4.5 of 5
Finally, A Book About Those Difficult Marital Problems 5 out of 5 stars.
32 of 33 people found this review helpful.
What happens when a woman chooses to remain in a marriage involving verbal abuse or even unfaithfulness--for the sake of her children? Most books write her off as co-dependent and offer no direction.Yet with recent information from Wallerstein's study, we have come to realize that children are often better off raised in such environments than if parents were divorced. And some are willing to pay such a price for their little ones. Others have hope that things will change down the road--how does one cope in the meantime? Everyone, it seems, avoids addressing these questions--except for Gary Chapman.
Chapman's direction is practical. He also helps counselors/pastors accept that fact that some problems have no solutions and just have to be accepted if the marriage is to continue.
As a pastor of 22 years, I take off my hat to Chapman, for he is the first to address these realities. Good stuff.
good stuff 5 out of 5 stars.
9 of 15 people found this review helpful.
this is a very good book. about all I can fault it for is the tendency to shrug everything off into "professional counseling", which is not a panacea for everything...as much or more can be accomplished with lay counselors of much spiritual discernment and a "christian counselor" who has been trained by the world the way so many are today could concievably be worse than no counsel at all. first we ALWAYS need to turn to our mighty counselor: God himself. That aside, I was very impressed with this book. most books aimed at a christian market dealing with "tough issues" in marraiges seem to take one of two approachs. the first of which is that you confront the person, use the continuation of the marraige as leverage and if this moves them, great, if not, then out they go...complete with all kinds of rationalizations that because God is not pleased with the other persons behavior then divorce is perfectly acceptable. the other stream is to put the improvement of the marraige on the shoulders of the one willing to make the changes in a manner that often amounts to nothing more than manipulation (as an aside most books about submission dont "work" because they are not about submission, they are about silently manipulating the situation through kindness) which unfortunately ignores the fact that while one person changing may get things to a certain point they often do not take things as far as they need to go. once you get to that point it seems that threatening the offending party with divorce if they do not change has just become the christian way to go these days, complete with bible verses mininterpreted and misapplied to make it seem as if this is what God would want. this book hits it right down the middle with the revelation that while we cannot control another person our actions can very much influence which path they want to be on. I wonder how many sad tales of broken homes that many christians would totally justify might have been saved if one of the parties involved had begun to apply the principles contained in this book.
