Self Help Books - Page 6

Five Steps to Romantic Love: A Workbook for Readers of Love Busters and His Needs, Her Needs

Willard F. Harley Jr.

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 3 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Helps you to fall in love again 5 out of 5 stars.
73 of 73 people found this review helpful.

This book contains worksheets that go along with two other books, "Love Busters" & "His Needs, Her Needs." These worksheets help you and your spouse identify for each other the things that kill your love and the things that help your love to grow. They help make you an expert in what will make your spouse fall in love and stay in love with you. The worksheets also help you identify and avoid the things you may unknowingly be doing to ruin and destroy your spouses love for you. There's also a neat worksheet on recreational companionship that helps you and your spouse decide on activities that you would enjoy doing together. This book is highly practical because it is an immediately effective way to figure out what's wrong in your marriage and it gives you solutions to those problems.

Editorial Review:

Dr. Harley provides a workbook to supplement his two bestsellers that provides couples with helpful questionnaires, personal inventories, and worksheets. With this guide, husbands and wives will identify marital problems, develop strategies to overcome "love busters," and nurture their new-found romance.

Depression: A Stubborn Darkness--Light for the Path (VantagePoint Books)

Edward T. Welch

Amazon Price: $10.19 List Price: $14.99 Usually ships in 24 hours By: New Growth Press Amazon Marketplace: 38 new & used starting at $8.60

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 9 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Very good 4 out of 5 stars.
13 of 13 people found this review helpful.

"When you are depressed, how can you take a step, let alone a journey? When all vital energy is devoted to staying alive and just making it to the next hour, how can you add anything else - like hope - to your day?" So begins this wise and compassionate book by Ed Welch. Whether you are a someone who struggles with depression yourself, or someone who desires to help those who do, Depression: A Stubborn Darkness will prove an informed and biblically-faithful resource.

The book is divided into an introduction and four parts.

Introduction. The first three chapters are introductory and begin with an empathetic note, describing "How Depression Feels" (chapter two) with a number of actual statements from those who have experienced depression. This chapter will help give understanding to someone who has never personally battled with severe depression. "Definitions and Causes" are described in chapter three, which differentiates between "situational depression" (less severe) and "clinical depression" (more severe), along with lists of possible symptoms for each.

Part One: Depression is Suffering. The seven chapters making up part one are Godward and hopeful, reminding us that depression is a form of suffering out which we can cry out to God for comfort and purpose. Welch doesn't try to make depression look less painful than it is. He faces it head-on. But neither does he let the lying voices of depression claim the day. Instead, he points the reader to God and Scripture (especially the Psalms), with gentle and hopeful reminders of God's love and sovereignty.

Part Two: Listen to Depression. Part two is especially helpful as the various contributing causes of depression are explored. These include other people, "Adam," Satan (chapter eleven), and culture (chapter twelve). Chapter thirteen gets to "The Heart of Depression" showing that depression is a result not simply of the "outside events" that "come at us," but also our "internal believes and interpretations . . . that come out of us" (p. 123). To deal with depression we must learn to address the "spiritual allegiances" of our hearts" which give rise to imaginations, desires, motives, thoughts, feelings, and actions. "The curious path to true life" says Welch, "is to grow in both the knowledge of God's love and your own sin" (p. 131). Chapter fourteen continues with "The Heart Unveiled," with following chapters exploring other causes of and collaborators with depression such as fear, anger, dashed hopes, failure and shame, guilt and legalism, and death. With each of these, the author walks the reader through the fog of confused feelings onto the sure-footed path of biblical truth about sin and grace.

Part Three: Other Help and Advice. In part three, Welch discusses medical treatments (chapter twenty-one) and gives helpful advice for the families and friends of those who are suffering from depression (chapter twenty-two). "To help a depressed person, you don't need expert knowledge. You do need an awareness of your own spiritual neediness, a growing knowledge of Jesus, and an eagerness to learn from others, including the person you would like to help" (p. 224). A particularly great chapter follows called "What Has Helped." It contains helpful insights from counselees about what first helped them begin to change, along with some specific strategies to try. The goal of the chapter is not to give an endless to-do list, but rather to "prime the pump" by giving ideas and strategies that have actually been helpful for depressed people. Chapter twenty-four is another honest, yet hopeful, look at "What to Expect" as one continues to battle against depression.

Part Four: Hope and Joy: Thinking God's Thoughts. The book finishes with two chapters on Humility and Hope (chapter twenty-five) and Thankfulness and Joy (chapter twenty-six). Potential readers should not feel daunted by the twenty-six chapters; each chapter is short and Ed Welch is an engaging writer with an easy prose. It is obvious that Welch has done his research, but the book isn't cluttered by clinical language. More than anything, reading this book feels like getting good advice from an kind and caring friend. As a pastor who sometimes struggles with discouragement and sometimes counsels those with more severe forms of depression, I found this a grace-filled book, loaded with hope and wisdom. I highly recommend it.

Editorial Review:

Depression: A Stubborn Darkness is Dr. Edward T. Welch s latest release in a series of ground-breaking best-selling counseling books that include When People Are Big and God is Small, Blame It on the Brain?, Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave. Now in its third printing, Welch continues to further his reputation as an author who can speak to general consumers in a language they intuitively connect with on a deeply personal level. Endorsed by Joni Eareckson Tada, and Bob Lepine of FamilyLife, this book is targeted to the 18 million adult Americans who struggle with depression. Compassionate and compelling, the book lays out issues and answers with Welch s world view that faith needs to be interlaced with therapies and medication for conditions categorized as strictly clinical. The author weaves in questions scattered throughout the book to help the reader interact with the content and also offers suggestions for those who have loved ones struggling with depression.

Love Is A Decision

Gary Smalley

List Price: $6.99 By: Pocket Amazon Marketplace: 90 new & used starting at $0.01

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 24 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Not Smalley's best work. 4 out of 5 stars.
1 of 16 people found this review helpful.

Gary Smalley has written several outstanding books on building and maintaining a strong marriage. He has certainly earned the reputation of being someone at the forefront of marriage advice. Unfortunately, I do not find this book, LOVE IS A DECISION, to be anywhere near his best work. Here, Smalley teams with co-author John Trent. The work is good, and there is certainly some great advice here for both newlyweds and long term spouses alike, but I find this book to be difficult at times. What I mean is, I've read this book 3 times now. It is only just over 200 pages. Usually, a book of that size I would tear through in one or two days, but it always a week or more to read this one.

I must say, I certainly agree with the premise and foundational message of the book. So much so that I teach it as an integral part of my marriage coaching. Love is a decision. Oh, I know, it doesn't start out that way so much, but that is why our divorce rate is so high today. When we first meet someone, our attraction is emotional. We see qualities about a person that attract us causing an emotional bond to develop. However, usually somewhere between 1 and 3 years into living under the same roof as husband and wife, those characteristics that we once found attractive now are often like fingernails on a chalkboard.

We must keep in mind that we humans are static creatures, not dynamic. We are ever changing and when we build our relationships on characteristics, we don't realize the strain we are putting on our relationships, because, in time, our characteristics will change. Our interests will change. Our physical qualities will change. Even our opinions will change. Like the old saying, "a man in his twenties who is not liberal has no heart, but a man in his thirties who is not conservative has no brain". The point is, we all change. When we base our relationship on characteristics, we are basing it on something that will be much different down the road.

You see, at some point during the first few years of marriage, we lose our emotional attraction and we must find a new path to marital bliss. This is found through our decision to love that person, despite the fact that they are no longer the same person we fell in love with. That is the premise of the book here and Smalley and Trent do site some viable guidelines to that end, but for me, the book falls short.

I'm not one who normally puts down one book to tout another, but in this case, many people reading this review might find their marriage in a dire situation. Therefore, if you do find yourself in a marriage that seems to have lost its love, I would recommend first reading "Marriage Fitness" by Mort Fertel. It covers the same principles, and does it a more usable fashion.

Pastor Monty Rainey

Editorial Review:

A plan to achieve intimacy and lasting love shows readers how to energize their mates in sixty seconds; respond to anger, fear, frustration, and discouragement; overcome destructive anger; relate non-verbally; and nurture a relationship. Reprint.

A Decembered Grief: Living with Loss While Others are Celebrating

Harold Ivan Smith

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 4 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Excellent Gift for Holiday Grief 5 out of 5 stars.
19 of 20 people found this review helpful.

The format of this book is "just right" for grievers. Short sections allow the reader to read as little or as much as they can handle at one sitting. This is an excellent gift for the seasons of Fall and Winter when society inundates us with holiday celebrations and togetherness. Since September 11, 2001, this book ought to become a best-seller. I've given out at least a dozen copies to family and friends.

Editorial Review:

Suffering the loss of a loved one at any time of the year is difficult, yet during the holidays or special occasions, those grieving experience a more intense sense of loss. The world is moving forward and celebrating life and all its blessings, yet for grievers, a darkness pervades the holiday. This book is an invitation to Christmas and its companion holidays of the season which compose a grueling triathlon which begins on Thanksgiving and continues unabated for forty-five days until the last of the bowl games on New Year’s Day. Through quotes, prayers, Scriptures and the words of the author, A Decembered Grief is designed to guide the reader on the journey beyond ’the shadow’ and directly through ’the valley of death.’ Paper.

False Intimacy: Understanding the Struggle of Sexual Addiction

Harry W. Schaumburg

List Price: $12.00 By: Navpress Amazon Marketplace: 21 new & used starting at $3.89

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 26 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

The Real Source of the Problem 5 out of 5 stars.
19 of 19 people found this review helpful.

I recommend "False Intimacy" more than other books to those men who are battling the behavior of sexual addiction, but who also desperately want change at the source of the struggle and not just in the expression of the struggle (although that is critical). Dr. Schaumburg does the best job that I've seen of exploring the actual motivational power of sexual addiction, which in the end is not essentially sexual. He also has an excellent chapter for the spouse of the sex addict and another regarding marriage in this context. Few books on this subject adequately expose what is really going on below the behavioral and psychological patterns, but there will be no meaningful freedom at a heart level without facing what ultimately fuels the shame and acting-out cycle. Clearly this is a more complex and less popular approach (that's probably why so few books go there), but any other approach to this problem seems to me like "bringing a knife to a gun fight." I recommend this book and the journey it invites the reader to take in their soul - whether a sex addict or not.

Editorial Review:

Everyone needs and longs for true intimacy, but many run from it because of hurt and disappointment they've encountered in close relationships. Instead, they seek to control and fill their relational void through pseudo connections. Dr. Schaumburg goes beyond behavioral symptoms and willpower-based solutions to provide Biblical guideposts on the journey to restoration.

Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: A Response to Evangelical Feminism

John Piper

List Price: $25.00 By: Crossway Books Amazon Marketplace: 40 new & used starting at $2.94

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Total reviews: 41 Average rating: 3.0 of 5

Very good book that refutes the errors of evangelical feminism 5 out of 5 stars.
6 of 6 people found this review helpful.

Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood is a much needed response to the 20 and 21st century evangelical church disregarding the clear commands of Scripture. It seems as though a whole cottage industry of Evangelical feminist publications has been established to try to argue against what the Bible so clearly states - that God created both men and women in His own image(so that they both have worth and equal value), BUT He also created them different and with different roles to complement each other and in the home and in the church God established that men should lovingly lead. God's created order is a good order, the feminism of our day has distorted that order, but God's command and order stands true in every generation, men are to lead in the family and men are to lead and teach in the assembled church (woman are not prohibited from teaching children or other woman). This book provides a good vision and defense of, what on the face of it, to most Bible readers is clear and a scholarly refutation of those who deny this order.

Editorial Review:

The "evangelical feminism" movement is addressed by 22 men and women who have commited their talents to produce the most thorough response yet to the issues raised. All main passages of Scripture that are relevant to the questions are considered.

Healing for Damaged Emotions (Personal Growth Bookshelf)

David A. Seamands

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Total reviews: 23 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

Preface

Early in my pastoral experience, I discovered that I was failing to help two groups of people through the regular ministries of the church. Their problems were not being solved by the preaching of the Word, commitment to Christ, the filling of the Spirit, prayer, or the Sacraments.

I saw one group being driven into futility and loss of confidence in God's power. While they desperately prayed, their prayers about personal problems didn't seem to be answered. They tried every Christian discipline, but with no result. As they played the same old cracked record of their defeats, the needle would get stuck in repetitive emotional patterns. While they kept up the outward observances of praying and paying and professing, they were going deeper and deeper into disillusionment and despair.

I saw the other group moving toward phoniness. These people were repressing their inner feelings and denying to themselves that anything was seriously wrong, because "Christians can't have such problems." Instead of facing their problems, they covered them with a veneer of Scripture verses, theological terms, and unrealistic platitudes.

The denied problems went underground, only to later reappear in all manner of illnesses, eccentricities, terribly unhappy marriages, and sometimes even in the emotional destruction of their children.

During this time of discovery, God showed me that the ordinary ways of ministering would never help some problems. And He began to enable me to open up my own heart to personal self-discovery, and to new depths of healing love through my marriage, my children, and intimate friends.

God then led me to enlarge my pastoral ministry to include special care and prayer for damaged emotions and unhealed memories.

In the twenty years that I have been preaching, teaching, counseling, and distributing tapes on this subject, I have heard from thousands of formerly defeated Christians who have found release from emotional hangups and who have experienced the healing of crippling memories of the past.

In this book, you will meet some of those people. You will read of attitudes and feelings that are familiar to you or to someone dear to you.

Any resemblance to real persons is completely intentional. All of the people in this book are very much alive; their stories are used with permission. Names and locations have been changed to protect their confidence.

Any resemblance to your life may seem coincidental, but it is also intentional. For most of us have the same needs and longings.

I pray that these chapters will be helpful in picturing God's ways of repairing damaged emotions, of recycling hangups into wholeness, and of transforming crippled Christians into healed helpers.

Boundaries Participant's Guide

Henry Cloud, John Townsend

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 1 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Teaching Class 5 out of 5 stars.
3 of 3 people found this review helpful.

I taught this class and used these books. The Participants guide should be required for the video, as the two go hand in hand. The Workbook (and book) can be used but aren't required - they do offer deeper study into Boundaries, than the Participants Guide. I found the course fabulous and recommend everyone should go through it or at least be familiar with it.

Editorial Review:

This Participant's Guide for the video curriculum is based on the best-selling Boundaries book. This guide is designed for use with ISBN 9780310223627.

Mommy, Please Don't Cry

Linda Deymaz

List Price: $12.99 By: Multnomah Books Amazon Marketplace: 16 new & used starting at $4.97

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Total reviews: 68 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Mommy, Please Don't Cry: There Are No Tears In Heaven 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

Any one who has experienced abortion, miscarriage, stillbirth or the loss of a young child should own this book. It is powerful and comforting. This book should be a part of every bereavement program for loss of a little one.

Pictures are very pretty 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

The pictures in this book are beautiful. I was hoping that the book would give some practical advice to readers about coping day-to-day, but it really didn't. Still, it's a helpful book.

a very healing book 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

This book is amazing! I bought this book after my infant son was born early and died. I was inconsolable, but this book helped me to see that my son was in Heaven with Jesus. The illustrations are amazing and this was also a great way of explaining to my two other sons where their brother was and how he was happy, healthy, and well up in Heaven. The book is told from the perspective of the child and is simple, yet powerful. Anyone who has lost a child would appreciate and find healing by reading this book.

Editorial Review:

Mommy, Please Don't Cry is a book of love and comfort for mothers who have experienced the deep sorrow of losing a child. Serene illustrations frame gentle words that describe heaven from a child's perspective. With room for the reader's personal reflections at the end of the book, every page is a poignant gift of hope and healing. "Our stories are all different, but our pain is the same," writes Linda. "We are mothers who will forever grieve the loss of our children. And yet, there is hope for our troubled souls."

Let Me Be a Woman

Elisabeth Elliot

Amazon Price: $11.04 List Price: $12.99 Usually ships in 24 hours By: Tyndale House Publishers Amazon Marketplace: 120 new & used starting at $0.01

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 32 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Great book! 5 out of 5 stars.
16 of 18 people found this review helpful.

I wish there were a way to have this review appear at the top of this book's Amazon page instead of the ones that were there. This book does not imply that a woman's only role in life is to "serve" a man. Elisabeth Elliot has spent most of her life single! While it is written to her daughter, it is for ALL women - and I think for some men too! I have been looking for a book that will tell my sons about marriage. (I'm preparing ahead to have something to give them when they become engaged). There are parts of this book that are better than anything I've read in any book for men, such as the chapter, "You Marry a Sinner." It's good to have REALISTIC expectations of your spouse! I have purchased two copies of this book for my future daughters-in-law and set them aside with instructions for my SONS to also read certain chapters as well. This is the best book on the role of women and for anyone anticipating marriage that I have ever read, and believe me, I've been looking far and wide among the "men's" books for my sons.

Editorial Review:

"In order to learn what it means to be a woman, we must start with the One who made her." Working from Scripture, well-known speaker and author Elisabeth Elliot shares her observations and experiences in a number of essays on what it means to be a Christian woman, whether single, married, or widowed. Available in trade softcover and as a Living Book.