By Topic Books - Page 12

Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls

Rachel Simmons

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 94 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Not so great 2 out of 5 stars.
2 of 2 people found this review helpful.

I bought this book a few years ago and had to force myself to finish it. It's definitely not as great as it is made out to be. A lot of it is common sense, and Simmons repeats things over and over as the book goes on. There are a few good little anecdotes, but other than that this just isn't worth it.

must read for youth workers and parents 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

i'm not sure how i missed this book. it was published in 2002, and is absolute must reading for EVERY youth worker (male or female) and every parent of a girl.

it's a tough read and an easy read. easy, because simmons is an excellent writer and fills the book with real stories of real girls. tough, because the real girls she profiles reveal a profile of aggression (almost universally experienced) that is so painful, so destructive, it's difficult to read (especially if you care about teenage girls).

i had a great chat with my 13 year-old daughter, liesl, after reading this book. she was very open about how girls treat each other. i may be fooling myself, but i do think that liesl's private school (a waldorf school, which is particularly nurturing and has no tolerance for mistreatment) protects her from the fullest extent of what this behavior would look like in the vast majority of schools. in fact, i could easily see liesl being the aggressor (the rumor-creator, the silent treatment-giver, the "we don't like you" club-originator), were she in a different context.

the book talks at length about why this alternative aggression is so commonplace amongst girls. it also talks about why schools are so poor at addressing it. it's a bit light on suggestions for what we all (who care about girls) can do about it - but there is some of this, especially near the end of the book.

given my passion for early adolescent ministry, i was intrigued to read that this behavior is at its peak during the young teen years. the author focuses all of her research on girls from 5th grade through 9th grade, with the "sweet spot" (bad choice of words, i suppose) between 11 and 14.

here's one particular paragraph i found fascinating:

at first glance, the stories of girls not being allowed to eat at the lunch table, attend a party, put their sleeping bag in the middle, or squeeze inside a circle of giggling girls may seem childish. yet as carol gilligan has shown, relationships play an unusually important role in girls' social development. in her work with girls and boys, she found that girls perceive danger in their lives as isolation, especially the fear that by standing out they will be abandoned. boys, however, describe danger as a fear of entrapment or smothering. this contrast, gilligan argues, shows that women's development "points toward a diffrerent history of human attachment, stressing continuity and change instead of replacement and seperation. the primacy of relationship and attachment in the female life also indicates a different experience of and response to loss. the centrallity of relationship to girls' lives all but guarantees a different landscape of aggression and bullying, with its own distinctive features worthy of seperate study.

Editorial Review:

Dirty looks and taunting notes are just a few examples of girl bullying that girls and women have long suffered through silently and painfully. With this book Rachel Simmons elevated the nation's consciousness and has shown millions of girls, parents, counselors, and teachers how to deal with this devastating problem. Poised to reach a wider audience in paperback, including the teenagers who are its subject, Odd Girl Out puts the spotlight on this issue, using real-life examples from both the perspective of the victim and of the bully.

Coming to Our Senses: Healing Ourselves and the World Through Mindfulness

Jon Kabat-Zinn

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 31 Average rating: 3.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

From the bestselling author and renowned mindfulness teacher, scientist, and educator. . .a guide to living a meaningful life.

This follow-up to the widely praised national bestseller Wherever You Go, There You Are is yet another revolutionary offering from Jon Kabat-Zinn, showing readers how the power of mindfulness can bring radical change to their lives.

In the national bestseller Wherever You Go, There You Are, Jon Kabat-Zinn struck a chord in contemporary society that continues to reverberate to this day. It has been embraced by politicians, business leaders, and celebrities and endures as a classic with readers. In his groundbreaking new book, Dr. Kabat-Zinn teaches us how to harness the power of mindfulness to effect profound change in our personal lives and in the world.

As stress continues to exact a toll on everyday life, people are increasingly turning to ancient, meditative methods, which have been tested by science, to relieve the ill effects and become more focused, healthy, and proactive. Kabat-Zinn has been for decades at the forefront of this mind/body movement and the revolution in medicine and health care it has spawned, demystifying it and bringing it into the mainstream. In Coming to Our Senses, he shares how every human has the capacity to mobilize deep, innate resources for continual learning, growing, healing, and transformation through mindfulness.

Woven into eight parts, Coming to Our Senses uses anecdotes and stories from Kabat-Zinn's own life experiences and work in his clinic to illustrate healing possibilities. At its core, the book offers remarkable insight into how to use the five senses -- touch, hearing, sight, taste, and smell, plus awareness itself -- as a path to a healthier, saner, and more meaningful life.

This is the definitive book for our time on the connection between mindfulness, health, and our physical and spiritual well-being.

The Anger Workbook: A 13-Step Interactive Plan to Help You... (Minirth-Meier Clinic Series)

Les Carter, Frank Minirth

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 50 Average rating: 3.5 of 5

Not great even for Christians 2 out of 5 stars.
2 of 2 people found this review helpful.

I am a Christian psychologist and bought this on the Minirth-Meier reputation. Having used it with several clients, I'm not impressed. First, it's pervasive Biblical answers without presenting them in ways palatable for non-Christians makes it a poor tool to use with anyone other than Christians. Secondly, the book's vocabulary is written at the college level. I have a Ph.D. myself and can easily read and understand it, but good communication uses the most commonly used and clearly understood words; why fill a book with long words and jargon when you're trying to communicate to a broad audience? Third, I thought the emphasis of the book was strongly tilted to subconscious or preconscious emotionally driven ideas, with relatively little presented on basic and practical anger managment tools and how to apply them in different situations. I applaud the authors' attempts to communicate anger management principles in light of Scripture, but am disappointed in how they put it together.

Editorial Review:

This is the only anger management system we've found that offers interactive exercises to help readers understand and modify their own behavior. Whether your anger is from tension at work, frustration at home, or just life in general -- this workbook will help you identify and modify the anger that keeps you from inner peace and contentment. From doctors nationally known in the field of Christian counseling.

A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows through Loss

Jerry Sittser

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Subjects -> Health, Mind & Body -> Psychology & Counseling -> By Topic -> Grief

Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 43 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

El Mejor Libro Sobre La Perdida ; Best Book on Grief & Loss 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

Hace dos anhos fallecio nuestra hija y entre los muchos libros que leimos sobre la perdida este fue el que mas nos ayudo. Se lo hemos recomendado a muchas personas.

After our daugher's accidental death two years ago, my husband and I read many books on grieving and loss. Sittser's book was the most helpful to us in processing our own grief, offering not pithy platitudes, but thought-provoking reflections out of the author's own catastrophic loss. We have bought many copies of this book for friends going through difficult times because it is relevant to those who suffer loss of any kind.

Peggy Reynoso

A Grace Disguised 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

Excellent, cannot say enough about how this man explains the grieving psyche. Moves beyond everything else that is written. Although my loss was not as terrible as his I could identify with everything he said. It is so good to have someone confirm that it is something that we go through and, perhaps more importantly, what we can get through.

Would recommend this to all who have undergone loss in any form.

Editorial Review:

A revised edition, this book plumbs the depths of our sorrows, whether due to illness, divorce, or the loss of someone we love. In coming to the end of ourselves, we can come to the beginning of a new life. Includes a new preface and epilogue.

The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date, and Mate--and What Women Can Do to Come Out on Top

Steve Santagati

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Subjects -> Health, Mind & Body -> Relationships -> Dating
Subjects -> Health, Mind & Body -> Relationships -> Interpersonal Relations

Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 87 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

How many times have you and your friends asked one another these questions without ever coming up with any good answers? Your girlfriends just tell you what you want to hear. At the end of the day, the only person who can give you insight into man problems is—that’s right—a man! But guys have hidden agendas. What guy would give up all his dating advantages by spilling the goods?

Steve Santagati would. A self-confessed serial dater and Bad Boy, Steve is telling all for the benefit of womankind. Every guy is at least part Bad Boy, and in The Manual, this prime specimen reveals what every woman needs to know to counter Bad Boy tactics, both amateur and professional. Steve is never condescending or callous, but honest, perceptive, and street-smart. His guidance is straightforward and his insights are dead-on, giving women tools they can immediately put to work.

Discover what you may not want to know but need to know about:

•The Heart of the Bad Boy (i.e., the nature of the beast)
•The Male Mind: how he sees you and how you can make this worko your advantage
•Guys on the Hunt: the male modus operandi, from the grocery store to Home Depot
•When Boy Meets Girl: how to handle dating, from flirting to “sext” messaging to learning his weaknesses
•Mating: so you’ve got him . . . should you keep him?

Why learn from a Bad Boy instead of, say, a psychologist? Because there’s no replacement for “in the field” experience. You’ll benefit from (and laugh at) stories of real things Steve has done in relationships with women as well as of women turning the tables on him when he least expected it. The book also includes a question-and-answer section, in which Steve explores some of the toughest dating issues.

To understand Steve is to understand the Bad Boy, and that will take you a long way in understanding all men. Find out how much more fun dating can be when you get the upper hand on Bad Boys . . .
for good.

Bo's Lasting Lessons: The Legendary Coach Teaches the Timeless Fundamentals of Leadership

Bo Schembechler, John U. Bacon

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 34 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Lasting lessons, indeed 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

This is the best book by/about Bo. Many of the stories are familiar, but most of the ones that have appeared before have a somewhat different slant on them here. If you have been in a leadership position, you will recognize much of what Bo says as simple truth. You will also recognize examples where you didn't follow his principles, and regretted it later. People like him who see life as simply are rare, and are an inspiration. I'm not sure how much of the effect of the book would be lost on someone who did not have a familiarity with college football, but if you have even a cursory exposure to it, you should find the stories enjoyable and educational.

Editorial Review:

There are very few coaches held higher esteem than Bo Schembechler. As coach of the University of Michigan football team, he won 13 Big Ten titles and finished as the winningest coach in their storied history. But beyond the wins and losses, Bo is best remembered for the remarkable impact he had on his players and fans alike.

In BO'S LASTING LESSONS, the coach draws on his years of experience, using first-person anecdotes to deliver timeless lessons on leadership, motivation and responsibility. His distinctive gruff voice leaps from the page.

With pithy language, Bo explains that true leadership requires the compassion to actively listen to your people, and then to have the courage to do what is right every time.

A big believer in peer pressure and in always making his players accountable for their actions, Schembechler has coached athletes who went on to become professional football players, doctors, lawyers and CEOs.

Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress

John Gray

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 17 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

Once upon a time, Martians and Venusians functioned in separate worlds. But in today's hectic and career-oriented environment, relationships have become a lot more complicated, and men and women are experiencing unprecedented levels of stress. To add to the increasing tension, most men and women are also completely unaware that they are actually hardwired to react differently to the stress. It's a common scenario: a husband returns home from work stressed out and eager to kick back on the couch and watch television. A wife returns home from work stressed out and wants to talk about it with her husband. What happens? Neither is on the same page, anger and resentment set in, and Mars and Venus collide.

Using his signature insight that has helped millions of couples transform their relationships, John Gray once again arms the inhabitants of Mars and Venus with information that will help them live harmoniously ever after. In Why Mars and Venus Collide, Gray focuses on the ways that men and women misinterpret and mismanage the stress in their daily lives, and how these reactions ultimately affect their relationships. "It's not that he's just not into you; he needs to fulfill a biological need," Gray explains. "And it's not that she wants to henpeck you; she also has a biological drive." He shows, for instance, how a husband's withdrawal is actually a natural way for him to replenish his depleted testosterone levels and restore his well-being, and how a woman's need for conversation and support helps her build her own stress-reducing hormone, oxytocin.

Backed up by groundbreaking scientific research, Gray offers a clear, easy-to-understand program to bridge the gap between the two planets, providing effective communication strategies that will actually lower stress levels. Whether in a relationship or single, this book will help both men and women understand their new roles in a modern, work-oriented society, and allow them to discover a variety of new and practical ways to create a lifetime of love and harmony.

Juicy Pens, Thirsty Paper: Gifting the World with Your Words and Stories, and Creating the Time and Energy to Actually Do It

Sark

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 10 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Journey Inside the Heart of Creativity 5 out of 5 stars.
4 of 5 people found this review helpful.

The title of this book alone is inspiration enough to get our own creative juices flowing, from the author/creative artist/workshop facilitator/coach who has done so much to encourage and nurture the artist in all of us. SARK's magic reaches into the secret place that yearns to share our stories with others. She guides us along the path to the fulfillment of our own dreams. Write from the Heart : Unleashing the Power of Your Creativity

Editorial Review:

“SARK is a sparkler who jump-starts the creative process. Her ideas are user-friendly, innovative, and pragmatic.” –Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s Way

Write and share what’s in your heart! Let SARK show you how. Juicy Pens, Thirsty Paper is your non-judgmental witness, resoundingly supportive friend, and practical guide to the craft of writing and storytelling. For anyone who knows that a writer lives within them but doesn’t know how or where to start; for writers who need new ways to work past their blocks and be reinspired; for anyone who loves SARK’s wise words and art, Juicy Pens, Thirsty Paper will help start the ink flowing and keep it going.

Learning from the Heart: Lessons on Living, Loving, and Listening

Daniel Gottlieb

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 11 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

In the nearly 30 years since the accident that made radio personality and columnist Dan Gottlieb a quadriplegic, he developed a finely-tuned quality of awareness that most people never achieve: he became an outsider among us—”like a foreign correspondent,” as he puts it. From that vantage point, he has acutely observed the way people act, think, feel, and live—in short, he studied and learned exactly what it means to be human. Here, Dan shares his insights, written with humor, honesty, a gift for storytelling, and breathtaking compassion.
Learning from the Heart looks at what divides as well as unites us, including the problems of family life; difficulties confronting today’s parents; challenges faced by the disabled and the aging; and issues of injustice that affect the way we understand the world and our lives.
Although Dan is now speaking directly to the reader, rather than to his own family, you’ll recognize the distinctive voice and format that caused an outpouring of e-mail from fans of Letters to Sam: short anecdotal chapters rich in wisdom, generously revealing and deeply personal, and resonating with universal truths.

What I Know Now: Letters to My Younger Self

Ellyn Spragins

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 22 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

If you could send a letter back through time to your younger self, what would the letter say?

In this moving collection, forty-one famous women write letters to the women they once were, filled with advice and insights they wish they had had when they were younger.

Today show correspondent Ann Curry writes to herself as a rookie reporter in her first job, telling herself not to change so much to fit in, urging her young self, “It is time to be bold about who you really are.” Country music superstar Lee Ann Womack reflects on the stressed-out year spent recording her first album and encourages her younger self to enjoy the moment, not just the end result. And Maya Angelou, leaving home at seventeen with a newborn baby in her arms, assures herself she will succeed on her own, even if she does return home every now and then.

These remarkable women are joined by Madeleine Albright, Queen Noor of Jordan, Cokie Roberts, Naomi Wolf, Eileen Fisher, Jane Kaczmarek, Olympia Dukakis, Macy Gray, and many others. Their letters contain rare glimpses into the personal lives of extraordinary women and powerful wisdom that readers will treasure.

Wisdom from What I Know Now

“Don’t let anybody raise you. You’ve been raised.” —Maya Angelou

“Try more things. Cross more lines.” —Breena Clarke

“Learn how to celebrate.” —Olympia Dukakis

“You don’t have to be afraid of living alone.” —Eileen Fisher

“Please yourself first . . . everything else follows.” —Macy Gray

“Don’t be so quick to dismiss another human being.” —Barbara Boxer

“Work should not be work.” —Mary Matalin

“You can leave the work world—and come back on your own terms.” —Cokie

Roberts

“Laundry will wait very patiently.” —Nora Roberts

“Your hair matters far, far less than you think” —Lisa Scottoline

“Speak the truth but ride a fast horse.” —Kitty Kelley