By Topic Books - Page 6

Here If You Need Me: A True Story

Kate Braestrup

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 82 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

No Depth - Reader's Digest 3 out of 5 stars.
1 of 2 people found this review helpful.

Well written. Prose was warm, welcoming, open... like a chaplain. The author strikes me as thoughtful, introspective - a seeker. I liked her voice, her sensibility, her intelligence, her pragmatism, her joy and her sense of humor. Being a widower myself, I was especially interested in her book - though I rarely read spiritual (i.e. inspirational) stories. And I learned a few things. For example, I never considered the discrimination chaplains endure (regarded as part cop, part clown) or the intangible authority they posses (collar, prayer). But though sometimes engaging, the book left me flat. Sense the author intended to write about a spiritual quest, yet her story read more like a sermon (complete with parables featuring Samaritans and villains, triumphs and tragedies, morals and psalms). And like most sermons, there was insight - even wisdom - but no soul searching, no epiphany. In short, the author did not get personal. I was left feeling I did not really know anyone - not her family, friends, old husband, new husband, or even the game wardens. She mentions, but does not explore, why so many of her fellow students in seminary school had just suffered personal loss like her. Nor does she explore how or when she decided to start dating... the awkwardness of being a middle-aged mother & widow looking for a partner, sleeping with another man, and having to tell her kids about her new friend -- excruciating moments for most single parents. Finally it would have been interesting to delve deeper into the paradox of her new life. The author freely admits she would not be a chaplain if not for her husband's death. What if going back in time and saving her husband's life meant she would must go back to her old life and remain a full-time mom (no seminary, no new friends, no new relationships, no new husband) - would she give it all up? Or what if her husband suffered a coma (instead of death), then made a full recovery and insisted she go back to being a full-time Mom? Or what if the future was revealed and the author secretly learned her job would lead to an early death (e.g. accident)? Would she condemn her kids to face yet another tragedy? Or would she opt for a safer (and less fulfilling) job? I suspect the author would remain a chaplain in all of these scenarios. Is that righteous? Or selfish? What does that say her? And all of us?

Don't get me wrong, it's a decent book. But it could have been much more. The author quips she likes being a chaplain since it allows her to be interested in her ministry, but not invested. That's how she seems to have approached her book. She's interesting... but not invested.

Editorial Review:

HERE IF YOU NEED ME is the story Kate Braestrup's remarkable journey from grief to faith to happiness - as she holds her family together in the wake of her husband's death, pursues his dream of becoming a minister, and ultimately finds her calling as a chaplain to search-and-rescue workers. It is dramatic, funny, deeply moving, and simply unforgettable--an uplifting account offinding God through helping others, and of the small miracles that happen every day when a heart is grateful and love isrestored.

The Darwin Awards 4: Intelligent Design (Darwin)

Wendy Northcutt, Christopher M. Kelly

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 30 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

The first new Darwin Awards book in three years, The Darwin Awards 4: Intelligent Design is the latest addition to one of the most popular and successful humor franchises on bookshelves today.

Named after Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, The Darwin Awards pays homage to those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.

Most of us know instinctively that the phrase “trust me, light this fuse” is a recipe for disaster. Darwin Award winners do not. Most of us have basic sound judgment that eliminates the need for NO SMOKING signs at gas stations. Darwin Award winners do not. No warning label could have prevented evolution from creeping up on the homeowner who filled his house with natural gas to kill termites, the easy rider who decided to steer his motorcycle with his feet, or the winner who tried to weld a hand grenade onto a chain. Filled with more than one hundred new tales of evolution in action, and complete with essential science and safety discussions, The Darwin Awards 4: Intelligent Design shows that when it comes to common sense, natural selection still has a long way to go.

Don't Shoot the Dog!: The New Art of Teaching and Training

Karen Pryor

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 111 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

A Better Way to Better Behavior

Karen Pryor's clear and entertaining explanation of behavioral training methods made Don't Shoot the Dog! a bestselling classic. Now this revised edition presents more of her insights into animal—and human—behavior.

A groundbreaking behavioral scientist and dynamic animal trainer, Karen Pryor is a powerful proponent of the principles and practical uses of positive reinforcement in teaching new behaviors. Here are the secrets of changing behavior in pets, kids—even yourself—without yelling, threats, force, punishment, guilt trips...or shooting the dog:

•The principles of the revolutionary "clicker training" method, which owes its phenomenal success to its immediacy of response—so there is no question what action you are rewarding
•8 methods of ending undesirable habits—from furniture-clawing cats to sloppy roommates
•The 10 laws of "shaping" behavior–for results without strain or pain through "affection training"
•Tips for house-training the dog, improving your tennis game, or dealing with an impossible teen
•Explorations of exciting new uses for reinforcement training

Learn why pet owners rave, "This book changed our lives!" and how these pioneering techniques can work for you too.

Leadership Gold: Lessons I've Learned from a Lifetime of Leading

John C. Maxwell

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 13 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Striving for the GOLD! 4 out of 5 stars.
0 of 1 people found this review helpful.

Dr. Maxwell does it again. This book on leadership delivered exactly what I expected - strong thought and practical examples on how to acheive the highest and most efficient dimension in leadership.

Christian minister trumps them all with his down-to-earth thoughts on leadership 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 1 people found this review helpful.

I have read many so called business leadership books by titans of industry such as Welch of GE and Gerstner of IBM. Ironically, this christian minister trumps them all with his down-to-earth thoughts on leadership. Indeed, you will not find many pages without at least one good glowing nugget to "takeaway" and "tuckaway" for the future. Please do not be concerned that Maxwell is a minister. He is not "preachy" or evangelical. So far, I have read two of his books. I plan to read them all. This book should be mandatory reading for everyone who is a leader in any human endeavor, ranging from high tech business to Girl Scout cookie sales.

Editorial Review:

Leadership Gold took leadership guru John C. Maxwell a lifetime to write, and it delivers his most valuable lessons from forty years of leading.

A leader among leaders, John Maxwell promised himself early in his career that he wouldn't write this book until he was sixty. And now it's finally here. Leadership Gold took Maxwell a lifetime to write, and it delivers his most valuable lessons from forty years of leading. With his signature style, Maxwell comes alongside like a mentor, candidly taking readers through what feels like a one-on-one leadership program. Leadership Gold offers the best of the best, the tried-and-true lessons that no one but Maxwell can share.

Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

Karyl McBride

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Total reviews: 10 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

The first book specifically for daughters suffering from the emotional abuse of selfish, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life for yourself. Drawing on over two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women's psychology and health, psychotherapist Dr. Karyl McBride helpsyou recognize the widespread effects of this maternal emotional abuse and guides you as you create an individualized program for self-protection, resolution, and complete recovery.

An estimated 1.5 million American women have narcissistic personality disorder, which makes them so insecure and overbearing, insensitive and domineering that they can psychologically damage their daughters for life. Daughters of narcissistic mothers learn that maternal love is not unconditional, and that it is given only when they behave in accordance with their mothers' often unreasonable expectations and whims. As adults, these daughters consequently have difficulty overcoming their insecurities and feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, sadness, and emotional emptiness. They may also have a terrible fear of abandonment that leads them to form unhealthy love relationships, as well as a tendency to perfectionism and unrelenting self-criticism, or to self-sabotage and frustration.

Herself the recovering daughter of a narcissistic mother, Dr. McBride includes her personal struggle, which adds a profound level of authority to her work, along with the perspectives of the hundreds of suffering daughters she's interviewed over the years. Their stories of how maternal abuse has manifested in their lives -- as well as how they have successfully overcome its effects -- show you that you're not alone and that you can take back your life and have the control you want.

Dr. McBride's step-by-step program will enable you to:

(1) Recognize your own experience with maternal narcissism and its effects on all aspects of your life
(2) Discover how you have internalized verbal and nonverbal messages from your mother and how these have translated into a strong desire to overachieve or a tendency to self-sabotage
(3) Construct a step-by-step program to reclaim your life and enhance your sense of self, a process that includes creating a psychological separation from your mother and breaking the legacy of abuse. You will also learn how not to repeat your mother's mistakes with your own daughter.

Warm and sympathetic, filled with the examples of women who have established healthy boundaries with their hurtful mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? encourages and inspires you as it aids your recovery.

The Language Instinct: How the Mind Creates Language (P.S.)

Steven Pinker

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 109 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

A Thorough and Entertaining Introduction to Language 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

As someone who has had a fascination about languages, this book was the perfect choice for my undergraduate neuroscience class--it's objective is to elucidate how the mind creates language. The prose is extremely well-written and complex ideas clearly explained. Pinker takes the reader on a very fun and thought-provoking journey, providing fascinating insights for both the casually-interested reader and linguists alike. I will highlight on some key points presented throughout.

The first sections illustrate the key themes that Pinker will elaborate on throughout the rest of the book. He presents language as being an evolutionary adaptation that is unique to humans, just as much as a trunk is an adaptation for elephants or sonar for a bat. It is an instinct that we innately are born with. One of the myths about language is the notion that language is taught or transmitted, whether from mother to baby, or from one civilization to another. In actuality, children seem to be born with "Universal Grammar," a blueprint for all grammars on earth. "Virtually every sentence is a brand new combination of words. Therefore a language cannot be a repertoire of responses; the brain must contain a recipe or program that can build an unlimited set of sentences out of a finite list of words (9)." Likewise, there has yet to be a civilization found that is devoid of language. For example, a group of a million people had inhabited an area isolated from the rest of the world in New Guinea for forty thousand years, yet had independently developed their own language, as discovered when first contact was made in the 1920s.

Another important concept presented is "mentalese", a euphemism for a theory of thinking known as "computational/representational theory of mind." It essentially negates the common myth that thought is dependent on language and its corollary, that since people of different backgrounds than us have different languages, they must think differently. There is thought to be a universal "mentalese," and to "know a language" is simply being able to translate mentalese into strings of words in that language.

The second section of the book is a comprehensive summary of the basic parts of language, with plentiful information regarding syntax, phrase structure, morphemes, and more. A key point made is the recent discovery of a common anatomy in all the world's languages, called "X-bar theory." With the general set of rules, children do not have to "learn" lists and lists of rules for each language via rote memorization, but are born knowing the linguistic framework. They are then able to go from speaking a few isolated words to complex yet grammatically coherent sentences in a matter of months.

In the next section, Pinker introduces the concept of the "parser", which is the mental program that analyzes sentence structure during language comprehension. Grammar is simply a protocol, which does not necessitate understanding. In a nutshell, as the person reads a sentence, the parser will group phrases, building "phrase trees", consistent with linguistic rules (for example, a noun phrase is followed by a verb phrase). It is interesting that grammatically correct yet poorly constructed sentences can cause a person great difficulty in comprehension--the rationale is that the parser will not present the person with the correct phrase tree, among copious possible combinations.

Pinker goes on to describe the differences between languages. Despite grammatical difference between languages, such as subject(S)/verb(V)/object(O) order (SVO, SOV, etc), fixed-word-order/free-word-order (if phrase order can vary or not), there are striking similarities. The most prominent are implications--if a language has X, it will have Y. For example, if the basic order of a language is SOV, it will have question words at the beginning of the sentence (234).

Pinker cites three processes that act on languages that result in the differences that we see evident in languages today: innovation, learning, and migration. For example in the case of migration, though the roots of English are from Northern Germany, the existence of thousands of French words in English is the legacy of the invasion of Britain by the Normans in 1066. One of the most broad-reaching relationships between current modern languages can be traced back to the possible existence of a proto-Indo-European language, whose modern-day descendents span from Western Europe to the Indian subcontinent.


Over the final chapters, Pinker elaborates on the amazing explosion of language acquisition in children during their first three years. He explains the significance of Broca's and Wernicke's in language, by examining different cases of aphasia with patients having damage to those areas. Our current understanding of the brain does not allow us to be able to predict what the impact of damage to these areas are from patient to patient--it is frequently witnessed that patients with damage in identical places to these areas have different types of aphasia.

As a final note, Pinker makes a distinction between prescriptive rules, such as grammatical rules that we are taught in school, and descriptive rules, the way people actually talk. In response to the former, he makes a claim that using non-standard English such as "I can't get no satisfaction" versus the standard English "I can't get any satisfaction" is not wrong linguistically, as it is simply a different dialect with an internally consistent grammar. The evident double-negative (which is "wrong" in standard English) is simply a remnant of Middle English, where double-negatives were ubiquitous. As long as the grammatical rules of any language are consistent and systematic, as in the seemingly wrong non-standard English, they follow the descriptive rules and are linguistically correct.


Overall, The Language Instinct is a great read for anyone even remotely interested in the topic. The scope is immense, from basic linguistics, to language development, to language evolution, to genetics, to overall mind design. In addition to being introduced to very important linguistic concepts, you will have an amazing amount of entertaining examples to share in any setting.

Editorial Review:

In this classic, the world's expert on language and mind lucidly explains everything you always wanted to know about language: how it works, how children learn it, how it changes, how the brain computes it, and how it evolved. With deft use of examples of humor and wordplay, Steven Pinker weaves our vast knowledge of language into a compelling story: language is a human instinct, wired into our brains by evolution. The Language Instinct received the William James Book Prize from the American Psychological Association and the Public Interest Award from the Linguistics Society of America. This edition includes an update on advances in the science of language since The Language Instinct was first published.

The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader: Becoming the Person Others Will Want to Follow

John C. Maxwell

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 77 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Excellent resource with action steps to put into practice now 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

I recently delivered a presentation on the qualities of an effective leader. "The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader" was an excellent resource for my presentation. Not only does Maxwell clearly describe the 21 qualities, but he gives practical tips on how to improve in each of these areas. The book is well laid out which makes for an easy read. I highly recommend this book for burgeoning leaders and seasoned leaders.

A must read. 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

This book is a must read for anyone involved in leadership. This book will take your leadership skills to deeper depths and higher highs.

Editorial Review:

In the tradition of his CBA bestseller The 21 Irrefutable laws of Leadership and his sell-out seminars, author John C. Maxwell now provides a concise, accessible leadership book that helps readers become more effective leaders from the inside out. Daily readings highlight twenty-one essential leadership qualities and include "Reflecting On It" and "Bringing It Home" sections which help readers integrate and apply each day's material.

An Hour to Live, an Hour to Love: The True Story of the Best Gift Ever Given

Richard Carlson, Kristine Carlson

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 25 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Please read and put into practice in your life. 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

I cannot think of a better book to recommend. Those who should be reading it, likely are not and those of us who try to cherish each moment are likely to be the fans. Like preaching to the choir...if only the others would listen too.

A MUST READ 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

SPEAKS FROM THE HEART. WISH EVERYONE IN THIS SITUATION COULD PUT THEIR FEELINGS INTO WORDS AS ELEGANT.

Don't take life for granted! It is a gift! 4 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

This book was enjoyable reading. It makes you think about how short life is and how we take our loved ones for granted that they will always be there. Fact is: they will not always be there so let them know how much you love and care for them now while you can.

Love it 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

Well written and such an inspiration. This is a life lesson we all need to hear everyday. Life is a gift and we need to enjoy the journey.

Editorial Review:

Kristine Carlson has created an incredibly moving book in memory of her late husband, Richard, including his love letter to Kristine on their eighteenth wedding anniversary. The letter answers the questions, "If you had one hour to live and could make just one phone call, who would it be to, what would you say, and why are you waiting?"

Women Who Love Too Much

Robin Norwood

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Total reviews: 105 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

The relationship classic hailed by Erica Jong as "life-
changing" -- now updated with a new introduction
and resource section!

The #1 New York Times bestseller that asks
ARE YOU A WOMAN WHO LOVES TOO MUCH?

• Do you find yourself attracted again and again to troubled, distant, moody men -- while "nice guys" seem boring?
• Do you obsess over men who are emotionally unavailable, addicted to work, hobbies, alcohol, or other women?
• Do you neglect your friends and your own interests to be immediately available to him?
• Do you feel empty without him, even though being with him is torment?

Robin Norwood's groundbreaking work will enable you to recognize the roots of your destructive patterns of relating and provide you with a step-by-step guide to a more rewarding way of living and loving.

If being in love means being in pain, you need to read Women Who Love Too Much.

The Doors of Perception and Heaven and Hell

Aldous Huxley

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Total reviews: 61 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Politically Incorrect, Yet Spiritually Relevant 5 out of 5 stars.
3 of 3 people found this review helpful.

Aldous Huxley was ahead of his time. And yet, he was right where he needed to be. In a time when modern society had not quite caught on to the mind-expanding powers of psycho-active drugs, psychology was still interested in how they might be used in a beneficial way. Thus, Huxley, one of the most dedicated thinkers of a generation, was able to participate in and produce feedback for, a controlled psychological experiment in which he used mescalin to produce an altered state of consciousness. That anyone could participate in such an experiment today and go on to write candidly about it seems unthinkable.

Today our lust for political correctness has rendered such ideas as the ones expressed in "The Doors of Perception" and "Heaven and Hell" to be nearly unspeakable. These two short books are combined in one book, and complement each other. I believe it is only Huxley's reputation as a creative author, poet, philosopher and thinker that has allowed this work to be taken seriously at all, and to remain part of our collective past.

Certainly, one cannot read his lucid chronicle of his mescalin experience in "The Doors of Perception" or his evaluation of it in the remainder of that book or in the book "Heaven and Hell" which follows it, and believe he saw no merit in the judicious use of psycho-active substances. Huxley describes both psycho-active drugs and hypnosis as tools for accessing what he calls the "antipodes" of the mind. And yet, society has such a social stigma about trying to do that by whatever means.

As a certified hypnotherapist, I can say that society is still mostly in ignorance of the usefulness of hypnosis as a profound tool for accessing realms of the mind that are typically unaccessible. The use of a mind-altering drug for such a purpose has fallen into deep disfavor, with the anti-drug advocates lumping psychadelic drugs in the same category as narcotics and other dangerous drugs. And yet, indigenous cultures have used them for attaining spiritual visions and experiences for as long as they have been available to use, and continue to use them to this day.

The desire to transcend the human mind is as old as humanity. It is the natural result of enlightenment, often achieved only after many years of meditation and intense spiritual practice. And yet, Huxley himself was able to achieve this, at least temporarily, through the use of mescalin. In his own words: "For the moment that interfering neurotic who, in waking hours, tries to run the show, was blessedly out of the way."

I believe Huxley saw the use of psychadelic drugs as a useful tool for opening the normally very filtered awareness of the conscious mind to perceptions that are usually inaccessible. While they have great power, they should also be respected. Yes, there may have been excessive use and misuse of it in the 1960s and 70s, but that is also the period that produced some of the greatest social and creative breakthroughs we take for granted today: things like civil rights, women's liberation and music legends. It is good to step back once in a while and take in the big picture.

Huxley experienced the ability of a psycho-active drug to take its user to much more expanded and profound levels of consciousness, levels rich with possibility, long before the social activism of the 1960s. And yet, his book most likely influenced the willingness of that generation to experiment with such substances, a generation that demanded change as a result of its shared vision and experience.

I was surprised to note as I was preparing this review that this copy, which is at least 30 years old, was printed on 100% recycled paper. This was long before it became fashionable for the publishing industry to be "green" and "earth friendly". Again, this book was ahead of its time. The pages of my copy of this classic are thoroughly yellowed. Unfortunately, at that time recycled paper was not also available as acid-free, so the pages have weathered with time.

Moonstone Star White is the author of High Way from Hell: Using Emotion to Fan the Fire of Enlightment.

Editorial Review:

As only he can, Aldous Huxley explores the mind's remote frontiers and the unmapped areas of human consciousness. These two astounding essays are among the most profound studies of the effects of mind-expanding drugs written in this century.