Gender Books - Page 3

The Wonder of Boys

Michael Gurian

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 82 Average rating: 3.5 of 5

lots of redundancy, but some useful advice 3 out of 5 stars.
2 of 2 people found this review helpful.

When my son was about to be born, I panicked, because I thought I would not know how to give a good upbringing to a boy. I have only a sister and my husband is an only child. We discussed the issue a lot and we sometimes had different views on how to deal with boys, to do everything to make our son happy and fulfilled. So - we decided to buy a book and chose "The Wonder of Boys".

The book is not bad, but it is not very good. First of all, there is nothing new in the notion that boys are different from girls and that testosterone is physiologically responsible for these obvious differences, boys being more competitive and aggressive etc. Many things described by the author are obvious and instinctive. I would be happy to see more scientific dissection of the differences, something similar to "Brain Sex" by Anne Moir and David Jessel (a really valuable book, by the way), but with the focus on children and the education of boys.
The "old-new" rules of the boys' education and need for the male presence in their lives, the importance of the group, sports and discipline, are nicely presented at the beginning, but later on the book gets very repetitive, full of redundant information and artificially blown out of proportion. Maybe the purpose was to make the reader memorize the rules subconsciously (after all, it is one of the therapy principles, I think). For me, it just made the book boring and I could not help thinking it would be much more useful in a form of an article or essay. It seems to me more like an introduction to Gurian's guidelines, more developed in his later books on various aspects of the boys' character and education.

There is some advice I found good there, though: the rules for disciplining the boys at different stages of life, the details of the father's role, the discussion on spanking, the teaching of morals and spirituality. I could do without superficial examples from the world cultures.

I did not find this book particularly challenging for feminism, on the contrary, I think it presents reasonably the roles of both parents and the methods for building the family life beneficial for the offspring, which happens to be male.

Altogether, I rate "The Wonder of Boys" at three stars, it is neither outstanding, nor hopeless, but the useful advice needs to be extracted from a lot of meaningless words and the book could only benefit from being more concise and to the point.

Editorial Review:

I n this edition of his parenting classic, Michael Gurian considers how the culture has changed in the ten years since The Wonder of Boys was first published, including the impact of the Internet.

Iron John: A Book About Men

Robert Bly

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 87 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

GURU AMONG MEN 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

Robert Bly is a modern day Carl Sandberg. Iron John was on the Top 10 Best sellers list. This is one of my favorite books and I highly recommend it for young boys, men, and women with children that have no father at home! In todays society dysfunctional families are at an all time high and "Iron John" can furnish helpful and insightful information. I really enjoyed the metaphors and mythology; "The lad leaned over and looked into the smooth and reflective pond water and didn't see his own reflection but that of three female wolves looking over his shoulder." The lad lived at home with no father or brothers but with his mother and two sisters and had no identify of his own.

Highly recommend anything on or about Robert E. Howard (1906-1936)The Best of the Best writer/poet ever. Must Reads = Blood & Thunder, The Life & Art of REH by Mark Finn, The Last of the Trunk by Paul Herman of REH Foundation and Selected Letters of REH by Rob Roehm of REH Foundation, One Who Walked Alone by Novalyne Price, The Dark Barbarian & The Barbaric Triumph by Don Herron, Solomon Kane, Kull, Conan, Bran Mak Morn, The Last of the Frontier, Lord Samarcand, and anything of Weird Works and Weird Tales by Greenberg, Life After Life by Dr. Raymond Moody, The Star Rover by Jack London, and my favorite The Beast from the Abyss about cats, I Am A Barbarian by Edgar Rice Burroughs, and The Best of H.P. Lovecraft.

Editorial Review:

In this deeply learned book, poet and translator Robert Bly offers nothing less than a new vision of what it is to be a man.Bly's vision is based on his ongoing work with men and reflections on his own life. He addresses the devastating effects of remote fathers and mourns the disappearance of male initiation rites in our culture. Finding rich meaning in ancient stories and legends, Bly uses the Grimm fairy tale "Iron John," in which the narrator, or "Wild Man," guides a young man through eight stages of male growth, to remind us of archetypes long forgotten-images of vigorous masculinity, both protective and emotionally centered.Simultaneously poetic and down-to-earth, combining the grandeur of myth with the practical and often painful lessons of our own histories, Iron John is a rare work that will continue to guide and inspire men-and women-for years to come.

Motherless Daughters: The Legacy Of Loss

Hope Edelman

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 105 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

SHE READ MY MIND 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

I lost my mother to cancer a month after I graduated from high school, 2 months before leaving for college. I thought no one else out there could imagine what I was going through. My Dad remarried a few years later, he got a new wife but I was still left without a mom. He bought me this book as a gift one year, I read it cover to cover in one sitting. There were women out there who knew exactly how I felt, what I was feeling. I couldn't believe it. I have bought this book for five other women since then, all who lost their moms at different stages of their life for different reasons. Everyone of them loved the book. I have recently bought the workbook and have been going through it. It is a great companion to this book.

Such a helpful book 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

My mother died when I was 11 and now I'm 22 and getting married. I was really feeling bad about her not being at my wedding and I was dealing with a lot of stress and anxiety. This book helped me so much in realizing why I was the way I was growing up and what I can expect along the way. I would highly recommend this book for any daughter that has ever lost a mother, even if she wasn't lost through death.

Editorial Review:

The author joins with other women whose mothers died when they were young to discuss the lasting effects of this loss on their identity, family, relationships with others, and decisions in life. 60,000 first printing. $100,000 ad/promo. Tour.

What I Know Now: Letters to My Younger Self

Ellyn Spragins

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 22 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

If you could send a letter back through time to your younger self, what would the letter say?

In this moving collection, forty-one famous women write letters to the women they once were, filled with advice and insights they wish they had had when they were younger.

Today show correspondent Ann Curry writes to herself as a rookie reporter in her first job, telling herself not to change so much to fit in, urging her young self, “It is time to be bold about who you really are.” Country music superstar Lee Ann Womack reflects on the stressed-out year spent recording her first album and encourages her younger self to enjoy the moment, not just the end result. And Maya Angelou, leaving home at seventeen with a newborn baby in her arms, assures herself she will succeed on her own, even if she does return home every now and then.

These remarkable women are joined by Madeleine Albright, Queen Noor of Jordan, Cokie Roberts, Naomi Wolf, Eileen Fisher, Jane Kaczmarek, Olympia Dukakis, Macy Gray, and many others. Their letters contain rare glimpses into the personal lives of extraordinary women and powerful wisdom that readers will treasure.

Wisdom from What I Know Now

“Don’t let anybody raise you. You’ve been raised.” —Maya Angelou

“Try more things. Cross more lines.” —Breena Clarke

“Learn how to celebrate.” —Olympia Dukakis

“You don’t have to be afraid of living alone.” —Eileen Fisher

“Please yourself first . . . everything else follows.” —Macy Gray

“Don’t be so quick to dismiss another human being.” —Barbara Boxer

“Work should not be work.” —Mary Matalin

“You can leave the work world—and come back on your own terms.” —Cokie

Roberts

“Laundry will wait very patiently.” —Nora Roberts

“Your hair matters far, far less than you think” —Lisa Scottoline

“Speak the truth but ride a fast horse.” —Kitty Kelley

Why Gender Matters: What Parents and Teachers Need to Know about the Emerging Science of Sex Differences

Leonard Sax

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 51 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

Are boys and girls really that different?

Twenty years ago, doctors and researchers didn’t think so. Back then, most experts believed that differences in how girls and boys behave are mainly due to differences in how they were treated by their parents, teachers, and friends.

It's hard to cling to that belief today. An avalanche of research over the past twenty years has shown that sex differences are more significant and profound than anybody guessed. Sex differences are real, biologically programmed, and important to how children are raised, disciplined, and educated.

In Why Gender Matters, psychologist and family physician Dr. Leonard Sax leads parents through the mystifying world of gender differences by explaining the biologically different ways in which children think, feel, and act. He addresses a host of issues, including discipline, learning, risk taking, aggression, sex, and drugs, and shows how boys and girls react in predictable ways to different situations.

For example, girls are born with more sensitive hearing than boys, and those differences increase as kids grow up. So when a grown man speaks to a girl in what he thinks is a normal voice, she may hear it as yelling. Conversely, boys who appear to be inattentive in class may just be sitting too far away to hear the teacher—especially if the teacher is female.

Likewise, negative emotions are seated in an ancient structure of the brain called the amygdala. Girls develop an early connection between this area and the cerebral cortex, enabling them to talk about their feelings. In boys these links develop later. So if you ask a troubled adolescent boy to tell you what his feelings are, he often literally cannot say.

Dr. Sax offers fresh approaches to disciplining children, as well as gender-specific ways to help girls and boys avoid drugs and early sexual activity. He wants parents to understand and work with hardwired differences in children, but he also encourages them to push beyond gender-based stereotypes.

A leading proponent of single-sex education, Dr. Sax points out specific instances where keeping boys and girls separate in the classroom has yielded striking educational, social, and interpersonal benefits. Despite the view of many educators and experts on child-rearing that sex differences should be ignored or overcome, parents and teachers would do better to recognize, understand, and make use of the biological differences that make a girl a girl, and a boy a boy.

Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts : Using the Power of Pleasure to Have Your Way with the World

Regena Thomashauer

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 55 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Stupid 1 out of 5 stars.
2 of 4 people found this review helpful.

I've never given a book a one-star review before. The one star is for the exercises in the book but the writing itself is awful. What a waste of money. I'm not even going to give this one to the library -- it's going straight into the recycling bin.

Attracting What You Want, Just by Being Female 4 out of 5 stars.
2 of 3 people found this review helpful.

It was the pink cover that attracted me. I picked it up, and put it down a few different times.

I ended up reading the book over the course of one week, while relaxing each evening in a perfumed bath. How fitting, since the book is all about pleasure. Specifically, female pleasure - of every kind.

Having my way with the world - radiating joy and pleasure as a means to attract, to draw wonderful things toward me--how revolutionary! And better, so much better than what's currently playing on the "female misery" channel!

I tried out Mama Gena's suggestions - "pleasure exercises" mainly because they seemed like fun. People in my world, even strangers, began to respond immediately, treating me like a delicious dish that they could not get enough of ... Just as Mama Gena predicted.

It's quite the adventure, learning to use fun and enjoyment as the barometer for how to lead one's life.

I noticed a copy of this book in my local bookstore yesterday, the last one left on the shelf. Pink as ever, and just as alluring. I'm saying to you now: why not take it out for a spin?

You'll be amazed at how much fun and pleasure can be squeezed into the most ordinary day.

Turn off the "female misery" channel once and for all - and start really living.

Editorial Review:

Relationship expert Regena Thomashauer teaches the lost "womanly arts" of identifying your desires, having fun no matter where you are, knowing sensual pleasure, befriending your inner bitch, flirting (in a way that makes your day, not just his), and more -- because making pleasure your priority can actually help you reach your goals. So if you need a refresher course in fun -- and you know you do -- come to Mama.

Men Are Better Than Women

Dick Masterson

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 25 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

Through a process of exhaustive man research he calls "keeping his eyes open," Dick Masterson has compiled a Magnum-size list of the ways men are better than women. It is an infallible compendium of man's greatness, filled with the most egregiously fallacious arguments ever put to words, but with some kind of miraculous, rock-solid man logic dripping like motor oil from every sentence. It is a manifesto more memorable than bullshit like High Fidelity or which Axe baby powder Maxim thinks you should slap on your nuts before clubbing, more chock-full of devastating man quotes than Oscar Wilde with two wangs. Most important, it is the only one of its kind. In Men Are Better Than Women, Dick Masterson dispenses logic from his man mouth into the eyes of his male readers like some kind of mighty mother man eagle with nutrient-rich word vomit. It's a book that makes you feel like driving a train into a dynamite factory and then tearing a telephone book apart with your bare hands, just because that's the way men have always done it.

Masterson's chapters are simple and self-contained, demand no commitments from readers, and have an immediate payoff. Men Are Better Than Women is a dangerous work of satire -- not dangerous in a revolutionary sense, but dangerous in that it walks the razor-thin line between cruelty and absurdity. That line is called hilarious.

Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood

William Pollack

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 118 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

Boys today are in crisis. On the surface, many boys may appear tough, confident, and cheerful, but underneath, many of them are sad,
lonely, and confused. As the bestselling Reviving Ophelia took us into the worlds of girls, this groundbreaking book reveals the worlds of
boys to show how society's mixed messages to boys put more of them at risk today than ever before. Boys' voices and experiences rise up
from these pages as Dr. William Pollack of the Harvard Medical School draws on almost two decades of work with boys as well as on a recent
study called "Listening to Boys' Voices" to present new findings about the true nature of boys and new insights into how to raise them to
become happier, more confident, more successful men.
        "I get a little down," says Adam,"but I hide it very well. I'd say I wear a mask of some sort. Even when kids call me names or try to taunt me,
I'd never show them how much it was crushing me inside. I'd keep it all in."
        Pollack reveals how many boys today are like Adam, whose confident exterior hides painful feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Other boys are in trouble overtly--depressed, suicidal, doing less well at school than they could, having trouble with drugs or with friends.
Real Boys shows why, and what to do about it. Pollack describes how outdated gender stereotypes push boys to conform to society's inhibiting
Boy Code, even as boys are pressured to relate to girls in new ways. Boys conceal themselves behind a mask of independence, which not only
prevents them from truly knowing themselves but makes it difficult for us to know them. Conventional expectations about masculinity still
encourage people to treat boys like "little men," and to raise them through a toughening process. Illuminating the daily lives of boys of all ages,
Real Boys lets us know what boys are really like, revealing new findings about the expressive nature of boys, how they are different from girls and
how they are similar to them, and wh
at they are thinking and feeling.
        Pollack addresses a wide range of topics--boys and their mothers, fathers, friends; boys in school, sports, and adolescence; how boys can
develop more self-confidence, and the emotional savvy they need to deal with issues they may have to confront--such as depression, love and
sexuality, drugs and alcohol, divorce, violence.
        After you read this original and insightful book, you will see every boy you know in an entirely new way.

Based on new research into the inner worlds and daily lives of boys today,  Real Boys explores in depth the following:
¸  The loneliness of "normal" boys today--what we do to cause it, and what we can      
   do to prevent it

¸  Low self-esteem--why more boys today are suffering from low self-esteem and
   what we can do about it

¸  The power of mothers and fathers--how to help boys become more confident,
    loving, and able to lead happier lives as men

¸   Adolescence as a "second chance"--how to use adolescence as a new  opportunity          
   to grow closer to a boy and to help him deal with  such topics as smoking, drinking,      
   and sex

¸  Getting boys to talk--the timed-silence syndrome and how to encourage boys to
   talk and share their feelings

¸  Overcoming depression--the hidden crisis of boyhood depression: how to spot it,
   and what to do about it

¸  Violence, alcohol, drugs, and much, much more

Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls

Rachel Simmons

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 94 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Not so great 2 out of 5 stars.
2 of 2 people found this review helpful.

I bought this book a few years ago and had to force myself to finish it. It's definitely not as great as it is made out to be. A lot of it is common sense, and Simmons repeats things over and over as the book goes on. There are a few good little anecdotes, but other than that this just isn't worth it.

must read for youth workers and parents 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

i'm not sure how i missed this book. it was published in 2002, and is absolute must reading for EVERY youth worker (male or female) and every parent of a girl.

it's a tough read and an easy read. easy, because simmons is an excellent writer and fills the book with real stories of real girls. tough, because the real girls she profiles reveal a profile of aggression (almost universally experienced) that is so painful, so destructive, it's difficult to read (especially if you care about teenage girls).

i had a great chat with my 13 year-old daughter, liesl, after reading this book. she was very open about how girls treat each other. i may be fooling myself, but i do think that liesl's private school (a waldorf school, which is particularly nurturing and has no tolerance for mistreatment) protects her from the fullest extent of what this behavior would look like in the vast majority of schools. in fact, i could easily see liesl being the aggressor (the rumor-creator, the silent treatment-giver, the "we don't like you" club-originator), were she in a different context.

the book talks at length about why this alternative aggression is so commonplace amongst girls. it also talks about why schools are so poor at addressing it. it's a bit light on suggestions for what we all (who care about girls) can do about it - but there is some of this, especially near the end of the book.

given my passion for early adolescent ministry, i was intrigued to read that this behavior is at its peak during the young teen years. the author focuses all of her research on girls from 5th grade through 9th grade, with the "sweet spot" (bad choice of words, i suppose) between 11 and 14.

here's one particular paragraph i found fascinating:

at first glance, the stories of girls not being allowed to eat at the lunch table, attend a party, put their sleeping bag in the middle, or squeeze inside a circle of giggling girls may seem childish. yet as carol gilligan has shown, relationships play an unusually important role in girls' social development. in her work with girls and boys, she found that girls perceive danger in their lives as isolation, especially the fear that by standing out they will be abandoned. boys, however, describe danger as a fear of entrapment or smothering. this contrast, gilligan argues, shows that women's development "points toward a diffrerent history of human attachment, stressing continuity and change instead of replacement and seperation. the primacy of relationship and attachment in the female life also indicates a different experience of and response to loss. the centrallity of relationship to girls' lives all but guarantees a different landscape of aggression and bullying, with its own distinctive features worthy of seperate study.

Editorial Review:

Dirty looks and taunting notes are just a few examples of girl bullying that girls and women have long suffered through silently and painfully. With this book Rachel Simmons elevated the nation's consciousness and has shown millions of girls, parents, counselors, and teachers how to deal with this devastating problem. Poised to reach a wider audience in paperback, including the teenagers who are its subject, Odd Girl Out puts the spotlight on this issue, using real-life examples from both the perspective of the victim and of the bully.

Eccentric Glamour: Creating an Insanely More Fabulous You

Simon Doonan

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 15 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

Glamorous eccentrics are irresistible people. They are irreverent, occasionally impertinent, a tad mysterious, charming, often self-invented, good at applying eyeliner, and above all nonconformist. They are a fabulous confection of style, self-empowerment, and black patent sling backs. Everyone wants to be one, but how? Ubiquitous style guru Simon Doonan has the answer.

By no means a typical how-to manual, Eccentric Glamour is a mixture of cultural commentary and personal disclosure, generously seasoned with gushings of wildly dictatorial, provocative, and reckless style advice. Through cautionary tales and inspirational examples, Doonan shows how to develop your own brand of eccentric glamour -- by magnifying everything that is already unique and idiosyncratic about you.

In these comic essays, interspersed with one-on-one interviews with some of the world's most glamorous eccentrics (including Iman, Lucy Liu, Tilda Swinton, Malcolm Gladwell, and many more), Simon Doonan offers the women of America an alternative to the cheapness and tackiness that currently pass for personal style. Eccentric Glamour is intended as an antidote to the epidemic of slutty dressing and porno-chic that has taken over since the arrival of Paris Hilton and Anna Nicole Smith (may she rest in peace). While the typical TV boobs 'n' Botox makeovers force every woman to look the same, the transformations this book strives to inspire are the very opposite. Dressing like a ho is not just bad taste but boring! In Simon Doonan's book, conformity is the only crime and dressing down the only faux pas.

Eccentric Glamour is every woman's birthright. SO SAY NO TO HO!...and yes to ECCENTRIC GLAMOUR!