Robinson, Spider Books

Variable Star (Tor Science Fiction)

Robert A. Heinlein, Spider Robinson

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Total reviews: 95 Average rating: 3.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

A never-before-published masterpiece from science fiction’s greatest writer, rediscovered after more than half a century.

When Joel Johnston first met Jinny Hamilton, it seemed like a dream come true. And when she finally agreed to marry him, he felt like the luckiest man in the universe.

There was just one small problem. He was broke. His only goal in life was to become a composer, and he knew it would take years before he was earning enough to support a family.

But Jinny wasn’t willing to wait. And when Joel asked her what they were going to do for money, she gave him a most unexpected answer. She told him that her name wasn’t really Jinny Hamilton---it was Jinny Conrad, and she was the granddaughter of Richard Conrad, the wealthiest man in the solar system.

And now that she was sure that Joel loved her for herself, not for her wealth, she revealed her family’s plans for him---he would be groomed for a place in the vast Conrad empire and sire a dynasty to carry on the family business.

Most men would have jumped at the opportunity. But Joel Johnston wasn’t most men. To Jinny’s surprise, and even his own, he turned down her generous offer and then set off on the mother of all benders. And woke up on a colony ship heading out into space, torn between regret over his rash decision and his determination to forget Jinny and make a life for himself among the stars.

He was on his way to succeeding when his plans--and the plans of billions of others--were shattered by a cosmic cataclysm so devastating it would take all of humanity’s strength and ingenuity just to survive.

Very Hard Choices

Spider Robinson

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 7 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

After the shattering death of his beloved wife, aging baby-boomer Russell Walker had wanted only to hide from the world in the woods of British Columbia. Instead, an old college acquaintance called Smelly, who was a telepath, had knocked on his door and demanded his help in stopping a serial killer who made Hannibal Lector look like a boy scout. They had managed to convince Nika, a hard-headed and skeptical police officer, and the trio had stopped the killer, though nearly at the cost of their own lives, and things could go back to normal...they thought.

But then Russell was visited by his estranged son, Jesse, a PR exec from New York, still angry over his father's role in his mother's death. And, to their dismay, Nika and Russell learn that agreeing to help Zudie conceal the fact that he can read minds involves committing to help him hide from the CIA, who have been hunting him desperately ever since he escaped from the MK Ultra Project back in the 60s. Constable Nika must decide what being a peace officer means. Russell must decide on the fly whether or not Smelly is the kind of friend you'd die for. And Jesse, who lives in America, must decide just where his own national -- and personal -- loyalties lie.

Best-selling and award-winning author of The Martian Child David Gerrold says of Very Hard Choices, "Spider Robinson is at his best when he is most passionate -- and this is Spider Robinson at his very best. If you're expecting a nice polite distraction that you can put down and forget, you're going to be very annoyed. This isn't a story, it's a wake-up call. And it isn't over until you decide it's over.

Very Bad Deaths

Spider Robinson

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 24 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

The Perils of Telepathy 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

Very Bad Deaths (2004) is the first SF novel in the Russell Walker series. It is set in and about Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, during 2003, with flashbacks to the 1960s. Except for the original premise, it is more of a mystery than science fiction.

In this novel, Russell Walker is a newspaper columnist for The Globe and Mail of Toronto. He lives in Trembling-on-the Verge on Heron Island, a small isle within ferry distance of Vancouver harbor. His wife has died the year before and he is thinking of suicide.

Zandor Zudenigo is descended from Serbians living in Croatia. He once was Russell's roommate in college. Nicknamed Smelly, Zandor was so odoriferous that you could see the fetor around him. Of course, Zudie had a good reason for his odor: he was an involuntary telepath. In other words, he couldn't shut it off and most thoughts from other people were painful to him.

Nika Mandic is descended from Croatians. She is a constable in the Vancouver Police. Unfortunately, she is a public relations officer -- Officer Friendly -- the lowest ranked job on the force. She drives a pickup and trailer combination to schools and other community facilities and gives lectures on personal safety.

In this story, Zudie knocks on the door to Russell' office at 3:00 AM, interrupting his consideration of suicide. At first Russell assumes that he is being raided by the police and hides his stash, but soon he recognizes his friend's voice and admits him. Zandor has some business to transact, but he first must do something about Russell's clinical depression.

After the treatment, Russell doesn't feel any different, but he is interested in the story Zudie has to tell. Recently, Zandor had been peacefully pursuing his interests when a failing plane crosses over his island. The mind of the pilot is violently offensive, lashing Zudie with thoughts of torture and murder.

The fuel line blockage -- according to Allen the pilot -- suddenly clears and the plane only bounces once on the water and then continues on to its destination. Zandor is left with the pilot's first name, but not his surname. After all, why would Allen have thought of his last name while facing sudden death?

Zudie also knows about the family of four that Allen is going to abduct and torture to death in a cabin within the remote woods. Zandor does know what the curb cut for the cabin looks like on Route 99 -- the Sea to Sky highway -- but not its exact location. Now he wants Russell to help him rescue the threatened family from this serial killer.

Unfortunately, Russell doesn't have any local contacts in the various police departments in Greater Vancouver. He is a columnist, not an investigative reporter. Moreover, his column is published outside the Vancouver area, so he doesn't even know any reporters with police contacts.

After Zandor leaves to avoid the waking thoughts of the neighbors, Russell tries calling a few police numbers, but only reaches answering machines and voice mails. So he dons more impressive clothes and takes the ferry to Vancouver harbor. He has the address of Police Headquarters, but the correct building is hard to find. After reaching the facility, Russell finds the lobby personnel to be less than helpful.

Finally he locates the Major Crimes Division and converses with a very helpful person in their lobby. After recovering from his shock at her helpfulness, he asks his carefully scripted hypothetical questions and gets straight answers. Yet he just can't come out and admit the reality of his case.

Returning to his car, he berates himself for being a coward, but he still can't imagine anyone accepting such a wayout tale. As he is trying to come up with a reasonable description of the circumstances, a woman parks a car behind him and leaves. Then a tough looking man enters the car and prepares to drive off.

Russell backs up his car to block in the other vehicle. The man steps out and confronts him. Russell is imagining the damage that the thug could do to him when the man quickly runs away. Then the woman who parked the car chases him down the block.

The pursuit doesn't last long. When the woman returns and thanks him for his actions, Russell meets Nika for the first time. He talks to her for a while and learns that she is a policewoman. Then he asks her to meet him on a deserted beach in the wee hours of the morning. Since that is during her shift, she is reluctant to agree to pursue personal interests on department time. But Russell tells her that it is a matter of life or death and she is finally persuaded.

This tale involves the threesome in searching for the cabin where the crime is going to occur. Russell and Nika drive down Route 99 and record the curb cuts that match Zandor's description. Russell discusses their possible actions with Nika and then they take the recordings to Zudie to view.

Russell and Zandor are very reluctant to confront Allen. They consider him very dangerous and would prefer to ambush him from concealment. Of course, Nika disagrees due to her upbringing, training and limited experience.

Strangely enough, Russell and Nika both come from families with strong police backgrounds. That is what led Nika to the force. Yet Russell did not learn all that much from his uncles and cousin. Still, what little he does know helps in his relationship with Nika.

This novel is a character study and history of Russell Walker. It exposes most of his faults and many of his strong points. The other characters are only shown through his eyes. They all have strong moral senses, but very limited experience in -- and stomach for -- violence. Enjoy!

Highly recommended for Robinson fans and anyone else who enjoys tales of police procedurals, inexperienced amateurs, and strong perseverance.

-Arthur W. Jordin

Editorial Review:

Aging baby-boomer, Russell Walker wants only to retreat from the world and the shattering death of his beloved wife, into the woods of British Columbia. But the real world won't let him become a hermit. Instead, he finds himself thrust into the mystery of a series of mass murders by a monstrous sadist and serial killer who makes Hannibal Lector look like a boy scout. And he is caught in a frightening predicament: He is the only possible intermediary between telepath called Smelly, so sensitive he can't stand to be near most people, and a sceptical police officer who needs to hear and believe what Smelly knows about the fiend. This involuntary trio may be the only ones who can catch the inhuman butcher before he kills again - if he doesn't catch them first.

For Us, The Living: A Comedy of Customs

Robert A. Heinlein

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 52 Average rating: 3.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

From Grandmaster Robert A. Heinlein comes a long-lost first novel, written in 1939 and never before published, introducing ideas and themes that would shape his career and define the genre that is synonymous with his name.

July 12, 1939Perry Nelson is driving along the palisades when suddenly another vehicle swerves into his lane, a tire blows out, and his car careens off the road and over a bluff. The last thing he sees before his head connects with the boulders below is a girl in a green bathing suit, prancing along the shore....

When he wakes, the girl in green is a woman dressed in furs and the sun-drenched shore has transformed into snowcapped mountains. The woman, Diana, rescues Perry from the bitter cold and takes him inside her home to rest and recuperate.

Later they debate the cause of the accident, for Diana is unfamiliar with the concept of a tire blowout and Perry cannot comprehend snowfall in mid-July. Then Diana shares with him a vital piece of information: The date is now January 7. The year...2086.

When his shock subsides, Perry begins an exhaustive study of global evolution over the past 150 years. He learns, among other things, that a United Europe was formed and led by Edward, Duke of Windsor; former New York City mayor LaGuardia served two terms as president of the United States; the military draft was completely reconceived; banks became publicly owned and operated; and in the year 2003, two helicopters destroyed the island of Manhattan in a galvanizing act of war. This education in the ways of the modern world emboldens Perry to assimilate to life in the twenty-first century.

But education brings with it inescapable truths -- the economic and legal systems, the government, and even the dynamic between men and women remain alien to Perry, the customs of the new day continually testing his mental and emotional resolve. Yet it is precisely his knowledge of a bygone era that will serve Perry best, as the man from 1939 seems destined to lead his newfound peers even further into the future than they could have imagined.

A classic example of the future history that Robert Heinlein popularized during his career, For Us, The Living marks both the beginning and the end of an extraordinary arc of political, social, and literary crusading that comprises his legacy. Heinlein could not have known in 1939 how the world would change over the course of one and a half centuries, but we have our own true world history to compare with his brilliant imaginings, rendering For Us, The Living not merely a novel, but a time capsule view into our past, our present, and perhaps our future.

The novel is presented here with an introduction by acclaimed science fiction writer Spider Robinson and an afterword by Professor Robert James of the Heinlein Society.

Callahan's Lady

Spider Robinson

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 8 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

A HOUSE OF HEALTHY REPUTE...

Welcome to Lady Sally's, the House that is a home -- the internationally (hell, interplanetarily) notorious bordello. At Lady Sally's House, the customer doesn't necessarily come first: even the staff are genuinely enjoying themselves.

Wife of time traveling bartender Mike Callahan, and employer of some of the most unusual and talented performing artists ever to work in the field of hedonic interface, Her Ladyship has designed her House to be an "equal opportunity enjoyer," discreetly, tastefully and joyfully catering to all erotic tastes and fantasies, however unusual. Like her famous husband, Lady Sally doesn't even insist that her customers be human...as long as they have good manners.

Small wonder, then, that she and her staff encounter beings as unique and memorable as the superhuman Colt, whose banner never, ever flags...Diana, the deadly dominatrix who cannot be disobeyed...Tony Donuts, the moronic man-monster even the Mafia doesn't want to mess with...or Charles, the werewolf with a distinct difference...

The Lifehouse Trilogy

Spider Robinson

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Total reviews: 3 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

Three novels complete in one volume:

Mindkiller: Wireheads, addicted to an electric current fed into the pleasure centers of the brain, are the new junkies. Karen, a former wirehead who barely escaped death by pleasure, is determined to bring down those who sell the wireheading equipment, but she and her lover Joe instead turn up evidence of a shadowy global conspiracy—not to control the world, but to keep anyone from realizing that the masters of mind control have been controlling us all for some time now . . . .

Time Pressure: When a beautiful girl appeared in a globe of blue light in a snowbound forest and said she had come back in time, Sam thought it was the most wonderful thing that could possibly happen. But then he began to notice sinister things about her, and thought he would have to kill her to save the present. Except that there was a third possibility, and that really was the most wonderful thing that could possibly happen . . .

Lifehouse: June Bellamy had gone for a walk in a park—and came back with memories missing. She didn't know that, but her partner could tell because she'd told her answering machine about strange people in the park. Now June and Paul are on the run from insidious superhumans who can edit their memories and track them down no matter where or how well they hide. They are desperate—but not nearly as desperate as their pursuers . . .

Three suspenseful stories of people in incredible and desperate situations, all of them unknowingly involved in a secret that could mean the salvation of all humans who were alive, who would ever live, or who ever had lived . . .

User Friendly

Spider Robinson

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 13 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Reader Friendly 5 out of 5 stars.
12 of 12 people found this review helpful.

User Friendly is a collection of short stories and essays by Spider Robinson. Though Robinson's best known short fiction is his Callahan's Crosstime Saloon series, I prefer the non-Callahan stuff myself, and that's what's we get in User Friendly.

In the title story, Robinson uses the device of an "invasion" by telepathically controlling aliens as a thinly veiled excuse to discuss Canadian/United States relations. If you thought Heinlein was preachy, he's got nothing on Robinson in this one. I tend to agree with Stephen King, "...serious ideas must always serve [the] story, not the other way around...if you want to preach, get a soapbox." My irritation is tempered by the fact I agree with everything Robinson, himself a Canadian, has his character Alice say on the subject of many Canadians' antipathy toward the good ol' US of A.

"Copyright Violation" is quite possibly the funniest story I've every read. I was chortling, chuckling, and laughing out loud through most of it. If you have a shred of humor in your body, you NEED to read this. And yet it's also quite touching. For my money it's the best thing in the book - and that's saying something.

"The Magnificent Conspiracy" tells the story of a Vietnam veteran's visit to a used car lot owned by a man with....unusual ideas on how to run his business - and how that's only part of his plan to change the world.

In "My Mentors" Robinson gives credit to the three men who've shaped his life the most. If you're a science fiction fan, none of the three will be unknown to you. If you're familiar with Robinson's career, you could probably guess them.

"Teddy the Fish" and "Admiral Bob" are homages to Theodore Sturgeon and Robert Anson Heinlein respectively, written in the rap of Lord Buckley. (If you don't know who Lord Buckley was, don't worry, Robinson is happy to tell you.) SR's love and respect for these two men shines through every word.

"His Own Petard" and "Where No Man Pursueth" are spoofs. In the former Robinson skewers a prototypical SF critic; the latter is a Keith Laumer-esque adventure parody. Either this sort of thing does it for you or it doesn't. Frankly I think Robinson is at his worst when he becomes relentlessly clever and punny. Though I have to admit, naming the protagonist of "Where No Man Pursueth" Fleming Ayniss got a smile.

In "Too Soon We Grow Old" a woman places herself into cryogenic sleep; it's mostly the story of what happens to her when she wakes. And I will say no more. It's wonderful.

"Plus Ca Change" - another essay - is one of those tedious "the future will really suck because..." things some people find funny.

In "The Gifts of the Magistrate" we meet Vonda McLisle, aka the Vandal, who stole Halley's Comet from the sky, and learn why she did it. Another fabulous story.

"Distraction" is a lame joke with a lame punchline.

"Orphan of Eden" sees a time traveller from the future journey to the 20th Century to address an important question on morality to that well-known historical figure, Spider Robinson. I haven't quite made up my mind about this one, whether I like it or not.

In the essay "Pandora's Last Gift" Robinson looks at the state of the world from the Sixties to the late 20th Century, and concludes that hope for the future is not at all out of line. It's as thought provoking and uplifting a meditation as you'll ever read.

"- And Subsequent Construction" is pretty darn good. Iris, retired relativist (a starship driver a la Norman Spinrad's Void Captains - minus the orgasms) is trying to invent a time machine, but is interrupted when she comes to work one day to find herself waiting for her.

In "Not Fade Away", in the far future, the last warrior meets the last....well, that would be telling. Another winner.

"Seduction of the Ignorant" is an essay (originally a speech) about illiteracy and how to fight it. (The title is an obvious play on Dr. Frederick Wertham's book, Seduction of the Innocent.)

Not every story or essay in User Friendly is a home run. About half, in my subjective opinion, miss the mark. But "Copyright Violation", "My Mentors", "Teddy the Fish", "Admiral Bob", "Too Soon We Grow Old," "The Gifts of the Magistrate", "Pandora's Last Gift", "Not Fade Away" and "Seduction of the Ignorant" are all among the best short fiction and non-fiction you could ever be lucky enough to read. "- And Subsequent Construction" is not quite in their class, but still very well-done. These are short stories and essays by a master of both forms - and absolutely worth owning.

Editorial Review:

With his Heinlein-influenced, solidly scientific, warmly human stories, Spider Robinson has won every major award that the science fiction field has to offer. "User Friendly" is a new solid chunk of Spider's universe that is both "reader" friendly and "sales" friendly. .

Callahan's Con (Callahan's Crosstime Saloon Series)

Spider Robinson

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Total reviews: 14 Average rating: 3.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

The discreet little bar that Jake Stonebender established a few blocks below Duval Street was named simply The Place. There, Fast Eddie Costigan learned to curse back at parrots as he played the house piano; the Reverend Tom Hauptman learned to tend bar bare-chested (without blushing), Long-Drink McGonnigle discovered the margarita and several señoritas, and all the other regulars settled into comfortable subtropical niches of their own. Nobody even noticed them save the universe.

Over time, the twice-transplanted patrons of Callahan’s Place attracted a collection of local zanies so quintessentially Key West pixilated that they made the New York originals seem, well, almost normal. The elfin little Key deer, for instance--with a stevedore’s mouth; or the merman with eczema; or Robert Heinlein’s teleporting cat.

For ten slow, merry years, life was good. The sun shone, the coffee dripped, the breeze blew just strongly enough to dissipate the smell of the puns, and little supergenius Erin grew to the verge of adolescence. Then disaster struck.

Through the gate one sunny day came a malevolent, moronic, mastodon of a Mafioso named Tony Donuts Jr., or Little Nuts (don’t ask). He’d decided to resurrect the classic protection racket in Key West--and guess which tavern he picked to hit first? Then, thanks to very poor accessorizing (she chose the wrong belt--and no, we’re not going to explain that one), Jake’s wife, Zoey, suddenly found herself in a place with no light, no heat, and no air. And no way home. The urgent question was where--precisely where--but that turned out to be a problem so complex that even the entire gang, equipped with teleportation, time travel, and telepathic syntony (you can look it up) might not be able to crack it in time.

And while all this was going on, Death himself walked into The Place. But this time he would not leave alone. . . .

The Callahan Touch

Spider Robinson

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 7 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Is this hitting the Bob Hope syndrome? 3 out of 5 stars.
7 of 8 people found this review helpful.

I first read Callahan's Crosstime Saloon back in college, like the early 80's so I've been a fan for quite awhile. I really enjoyed that book, and also each of the subsequent Callahan books Robinson has put out over the last 20 years.

This is not at the same level of quality and originality that the earlier books were. The Callahan Touch felt like he's really writing for his die-hard fans who are easier and more lenient on the rough spots. Would someone "get this" if they happened to find a copy at the library? Would it stand on its own? It's sort of like all those Star Trek paperbacks they've written over the last decade, if you love the characters, you love being able to keep reading about them, even in a sub-par tale. This book is where the series starts to be about a cult rather than simply telling a story about a unique group of people. They are starting to be larger and better than life. The blur between fictional characters and events, and the desire to have them exist in real life gets a little fuzzed. (Callahan's Key will take it even further down this path.) . Look, I love the stories but I'm not converting to a religion. What is the old saying? "It is the story, and not the teller"? I don't care if Spider is a cool guy or not, I just want a good story to read and maybe think about. Spider seems to have begun to be in it for the money. Not a bad thing at all, it's just it was so much more fun when it was about just the story.

But, who really cares? I'm critical because I expect a lot based on the enjoyment I've had with this group of characters over the years. This is, as always, a clever, fun, witty, and enjoyable read. If you've read Robinson before, you will enjoy the Callahan Touch and know he has better stuff out there. If this is your first one, find his earlier stuff now. You're in for a treat!

I'd really love to see Spider write one more fun, old-style Callahan novel. I'd hate to have Spider become like Bob Hope, famous for doing something no one remembers anymore, just that he's famous for being famous.

Editorial Review:

All the regulars from Callahan's are at Mary's Place--Jake, Doc, and Fast Eddie--along with new faces like ""Lucky Duck,"" who has an astounding gift for defying the law, and a mysterious stranger with a deadly secret. Reprint.

Deathkiller

Spider Robinson

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 9 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Something Faintly Odorous This Way Comes.. 2 out of 5 stars.
9 of 15 people found this review helpful.

Deathkiller (or, more precisely it's second part, Time Pressure) was bad philosophy masquerading as good sci-fi. Spider Robinson is obviously a man of talent, and I enjoyed the first part, Mind Killer, tremendously. I would argue, however, that the last thing we, as a species, need is telepathy. Quite honestly, the privacy of my own thoughts has been a perpetual comfort to me. I haven't been strugging to get out of my skull- rather, I search for the ways to articulate its contents. Perhaps if the Deathkiller's idea had been to turn us into a species of Hemmingway's and Vonnegut's I'd have less of a problem- but the concept that he presents, the death of personality, of identity, was handled with a great deal more maturity, respect, and ultimate horror by the Babylon 5 series- in that version of the future, it replaces the death penalty. Instead of killing the body, they kill the mind- exactly what Spider's characters propose will save our society.

And, if that weren't disturbing enough, they proceed to kill death- to join all of life, past and present, into one great consciousness. For the love of everything, have the words "eternal peace" no meaning? I have enough difficulty with my own mind without having some dead person's thoughts to deal with, too.

All in all, I would have been signifigantly more pleased if Spider had persued the Mindkiller as a villain, and left off the entire "telepathy will save our society" schtick. A man that wants to destroy individuality and individual identity is proposing heinous crimes against humanity, and perhaps the concept of a desperate battle against such a madman appeals to me far more than being told that the calvary that plans on saving me and the rest of the world wants to do it by destroying everything that makes me an individual- beginning with the privacy of my thoughts.

Editorial Review:

Karen is plugged into the electrical socket, experiencing indescribable pleasures of the mind, when a burglar breaks in and unplugs her, saving her from suicide by ecstasy, and now Karen is determined to stop the selling of the wireheading equipment to save everyone from global mind control.