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Instant Rapport

Michael Brooks

Instant Rapport Michael Brooks List Price: $18.95
By: Warner Books
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 30 Average rating: 3.0 of 5

Not practical and overgeneralizations throughout 2 out of 5 stars.
4 of 4 people found this review helpful.

Mr. Brooks talks about achieving instant rapport with someone. Although this book talks about the very basics of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) since it has been written in 1989 when NLP was fairly new, there are couple of basic stradegies I found useful:

1. Talking in forms of the other's representation types (Visual, Kinesthetic, Auditory)
We are either one of the three types, and we tend to talk more in types of those languages. (ex. I "see" what you mean vs. I "hear" what you mean)
Simply recongnize them in a conversation and talk in that context of language.

2. Mirroring
In order to establish rapport, subtly mirror their physical behaviors (ex. hand gestures, crossing legs)

3. Anchoring
When someone is in high emotional state, anchor that feeling by planting a signal on his/her body (squeezeing elbows, wrist)


Other methods Brooks talks about did not seem very practical to me (such as using specific questions such as "Can you remember a time when you have been totally attracted to someone?" leading to "What was the first thing you noticed, looks, sound, or feeling?" to "What was the second thing you noticed..." to "What was the third?" to supposedly tap into someone's minds. Seems kind of impractical to use in a conversational context because nobody talks like this and the subject is likely to feel strange.

Overall, gives you a gist of the world of NLP, which can be a very powerful tool if studied carefully. However, there are other more modern books out on NLP now since studies have advanced. If interested, check out Tony Robbins' Unlimited Power if you want to learn how to control your mind and feelings as well as rapport with others in greater detail.

Editorial Review:

The national bestseller that shows how anyone can master the proven scientific techniques of neurolinguistic programming (NLP) and forge instant relationships, instant chemistry, instant intimacy at will--now with a special chapter on sexual rapport! Trains the reader to control others' perceptions, dissolve communication barriers, create more intimate relationships, negotiate more effectively, and more.

Issues Facing Christians Today

John R.W. Stott, John Wyatt

Issues Facing Christians Today John R.W. Stott, John Wyatt Amazon Price: $13.59
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 1 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Fantastic book... 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

A few months ago my husband and I were talking about the current political climate with our pastor. As a Christian, I was questioning some of the moral and ethical debates that have been rolling around between the presidential candidates and wondered what the Bible said about the various topics. We had a very intense and deep conversation and our pastor recommended John Stott's "Issues Facing Christians Today" and it has been an incredibly detailed, informative and fantastic read. If anyone is looking for a biblically informative book regarding homosexuality, abortion, terrorism and other current topics, you need to pick up this book.

Editorial Review:

Terrorism. Same-sex marriage. Debt cancellation. The AIDS pandemic. This fourth edition of Issues Facing Christians Today continues a two-decades-plus legacy of bringing important current issues under the lens of biblically informed thinking. Fully endorsed by John Stott, it has been thoroughly revised and updated by Roy McCloughry.

Encountering the Chinese: A Guide for Americans (Interact Series)

Hu Wenzhong, Cornelius Lee Grove

Encountering the Chinese: A Guide for Americans (Interact Series) Hu Wenzhong, Cornelius Lee Grove List Price: $17.95
By: Intercultural Press
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 7 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

an experience leading to a Must read and better understandin 5 out of 5 stars.
9 of 9 people found this review helpful.

I have just finished the book, twice; Encountering the Chinese; A Guide for Americans. by Hu Wenzhong & Cornelius L. Grove.

This is a great book for help in making cross cultural or intercultural communication between Chinese and Americans more rewarding while trying to avoid abrasiveness regarding deep fundamental differences.

Before reading this book I did not know that Chinese culture is one of collectivism, I had thought that everyone is individulistic in the world, I had never known anything different. It was hard for me to understand Chinese life until I got some help from these two authors. It explained many of my questions and concerns for why Chinese do some of the things they do and act in such ways in response to things I do. Why i was treated the way I was, for the way I acted, which I had no idea, was only a response of a disliking of my fundamental character and individualistic personality, one of American born and raised in the Heartland U.S.A..

It showed me the reason, for alot of my confusion and why I received the response I did for my actions.

I acted like an individual and showed anger, which I read to the Chinese are two of the worst ways to act. This difference in fundamentals between myself and the Chinese culture may have led to the misunderstanding and consequential accusations, and or just the overall way of bringing anxiety and frustrations to the surface in my life here in China.

I recommend this book to anyone who would like to know the difference between collectivism and individualism, the predominate theory or doctrines of China & The United States, for better relations between these two ways of thinking for more harmony on both sides for neither one is right or wrong for without education the other has no idea of the inherited fundamental differences each have.

It has helped me see the Chinese way of thinking and acting in response to my way of thinking and acting in my daily life, something that rarely do Americans need to or have to think about. I will forever before instinctly acting on my own individualistically trained nature to see how such acts would be seen from the perspective of one of collectivistic. Like I would never complain aloud in anger about poor pay, nor openly criticize a Chinese person, nor think only of the betterment of myself in matters of personal likes and dislikes. I would also refrain from wearing expensive, name brand, clothing while in the presence of less educated and fashion sensitive people who may feel I am just a selfish American taking advantage of being able to travel the world freely as I my country has given to its citizens. The sometimes I really feel that it is not about cultural differences but something we all have subltely within us, something very known which we all can recognize; jealousy, envy, concite, revenge, hate, and many others that if one is not careful, and educated can appear very similiar to the other as a possible excuse as to say that we have named it a fundamental difference in cultural perspective one of the friction between individualism and collectivism.

>> also if you don't have an idea yet why this book is so important>> a letter to a friend, referring this book and what I had learned from it>

Dear Professor xxxx,

I am not quite sure how to thank you and Prof.xxxx, except to acquire the utmost from this gracious learning opportunity.

Before receiving your email, I had just finished one of the required readings, Encountering the Chinese; A Guide for Americans. By Hu & Grove

How true it really is, I am probably not the first nor the last to say that, but wow I was both amazed and glad that I had read it, to confirm what I had questioned repeatedly and already dealt with and deal with every day. True to it that Americans are fundamentally individualistic, I at least understand that as I was raised by my hard working, blue collar, U.S. Veteran and father, to be self sufficient and self promoting in work and daily affairs, that my survival muchly depended on myself, and that to act in way to promote myself and my priorities is what will make success for myself and family. To depend on another was and is looked down upon, as an American, as one needs to become a compitant providor both to society and his/her family. Such a phrase for this I remember being told as I was growing up, "you need to make a life for yourself, no one else is going to do it for you."

On the other hand, or at the other end of the "continuum," the orientation of the Chinese, collectivism.
Like I had said before, my wife is Chinese, though we are both young and she is somewhat even younger then myself, I have indeed and will continue to make observations on this fundamental orientation in the difference between individualism and collectivism, which if not observed and prepared for will indeed as I have experienced many times, surely cause faux pas, conflicts, and downright hard to explain your way out of -misunderstandings, for it is hard to teach that we both are right from our own orientation, though each of us find from our own conditioning and orientation that the other is wrong. In the moment of such misunderstanding it is not common and hard to say, "ohh, our conflict is one which stems from fundamental differences," instead it is best to be informed beforehand, to be eguipped, and that is exactly why I feel that this course and this book of which is a required text, is of very high importance and benfit.

I am indebt to you for allowing me to expand my knowledge, not only academically but also the practical knowledge that will allow for me to put into practice, at once within my immediate family and that of my surroundings.

Thanks,
-An American Citizen (born & raised on U.S. soil)
-Married interculturally w/ a Chinese Citizen born and raised in one of the two systems one country,-HK
-living with an all Chinese Family, except myself

Editorial Review:

This text should enable Westerners to establish more productive and rewarding relationships with Chinese people, both inside and outside the People's Republic. It provides a practical cross-cultural analysis of Chinese culture along with insights into how best to interact with the Chinese.

Seeing Systems: Unlocking the Mysteries of Organizational Life

Barry Oshry

Seeing Systems: Unlocking the Mysteries of Organizational Life Barry Oshry List Price: $24.95
By: Berrett-Koehler Publishers
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 12 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Wow! I feel as if I was blind and now I SEE. 5 out of 5 stars.
3 of 4 people found this review helpful.

I read this book about 6 years a go as a part of my graduate program on organizational learning. My reaction at that time was, "Wow! I feel as if I was blind and Now I See!." It was like I gained a secret lens through which the organizational behaviors were making more sense to me. I felt so enthralled with the book, I called the number on the back of the book to inquire how I could explore, experience and learn the Seeing Systems concepts further. I have not done that before or since. 6 years later, I still feel Barry Oshry's teachings are one of real gems in understanding organizations and their behavior mysteries. I have integrated these concepts into my own ways of thinking and being and use them to generate partnerships for impact. I most highly recommend this book to anyone who works with organizations including executives, organizational developers and change agents.

Editorial Review:

Barry Oshry explains why so many of our efforts to create more satisfying and productive human systems end in disappointment, lost opportunities, broken relationships, and failed partnerships. Oshry shows how these breakdowns are the predictable outcomes of an uninspected system life. This book provides us with a new set of lenses with which to view these systemic relationships and patterns, enabling us to recognize and stop destructive patterns of behavior.

Saudi Arabia Exposed : Inside a Kingdom in Crisis, Updated Edition

John R. Bradley

Saudi Arabia Exposed : Inside a Kingdom in Crisis, Updated Edition John R. Bradley Amazon Price: $11.16
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 32 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Important Subject Matter Poorly Handled 2 out of 5 stars.
7 of 8 people found this review helpful.

With the amount of attention the country gets in the western press, you'd think that there would be a metric ton of decent books out there on the modern history of Saudi Arabia. You'd be wrong.

This one by journalist John Bradley was recommended as a good one, since he was one of the few western journalists inside Saudi at the time of the 9/11 attacks he did have unqiue access. Too bad he can't write to save his life. The chronology of the book is confused. The sentence stucture is often awful, and what is often meant to be a telling detail instead comes off as contrived. I am shocked that he has written for publications like the Economist.

Though the writing is poor, in Bradley's defense, this book is at least somewhat balanced, and he clearly has a real affection for the culture and some of the people he met there. This isn't jingositic western propoganda (like much of what is written about Saudi) but it also isn't a very good book.

Editorial Review:

Saudi Arabia: land of oil, terrorism, Islamic fundamentalism, and a crucial American ally. John R. Bradley uniquely exposes the turmoil that is shaking the House of Saud to its foundations, including the problems within the new leadership. From the heart of the secretive Islamic kingdom's urban centers to its most remote mountainous terrain, he provides intimate details and reveals regional, religious, and tribal rivalries.
Bradley highlights tensions generated by social change, the increasing restlessness of Saudi youth with limited cultural and political outlets, and the predicament of Saudi women seeking opportunities but facing constraints.
What are the implications for the Sauds and the West? This book offers a startling look at the present predicament and a troubling view of the future.

Communication Planning: An Integrated Approach (SAGE Series in Public Relations)

Sherry Devereaux Ferguson

Communication Planning: An Integrated Approach (SAGE Series in Public Relations) Sherry Devereaux Ferguson Amazon Price: $146.00
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 4 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

This is an author review by Sherry Devereaux Ferguson. 5 out of 5 stars.
10 of 13 people found this review helpful.

The nature of the communicator's job has shifted dramatically in the last decade. While communicators still prepare speeches, press releases, and articles for corporate magazines, they are now being asked to perform managerial duties, including planning, consulting with stakeholders, and advising CEOs and vice presidents.

With these additional responsibilities as a focus, Communication Planning takes a comprehensive approach to examining the role of integrated planning in modern organizations. Author Sherry Ferguson divides the book into four parts: 1) establishing strategic planning cultures, 2) writing different types of communication plans, 3) theoretical foundations of communication planning, and 4) strategic approaches to planning for issues management and crisis management.

This book breaks new ground in the study of organizational communication and public relations andcontains essential information for consultants, practitioners, and students.

Editorial Review:

The nature of the communicator’s job has shifted dramatically in the last decade. While communicators still prepare speeches, press releases, and articles for corporate magazines, they are now being asked to perform managerial duties, including planning, consulting with stakeholders, and advising CEOs and vice presidents.

With these additional responsibilities as a focus, Communication Planning takes a comprehensive approach to examining the role of integrated planning in modern organizations. Author Sherry Ferguson divides the book into four parts: 1) establishing strategic planning cultures, 2) writing different types of communication plans, 3) theoretical foundations of communication planning, and 4) strategic approach to planning for issues management.

This book breaks new ground in the study of organizational communication and public relations and contains essential information for consultants, practitioners, and students.

Girlfriends Forever

Susan Branch

Girlfriends Forever Susan Branch Amazon Price: $16.29
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 27 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Susan's Great! 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

I purchased this book for a dear friend a few years ago and she loved it. I have all of Susan's books and decided I owed it to myself to add this to my collection. Her style is so warm and genuine you feel as if you're talking with an old friend. Wonderful to curl up with and reminisce about your own "girlfriend" experiences as you read. If you enjoy Susan Branch you must have this book.

Editorial Review:

Girlfriends Forever is about the joys of sharing everything with a good friend: recipes; style, decorating, and wardrobe tips; memories; and party ideas. Susan Branch, in her appealing, personal style, tells of her life with her friends, from her exhilarating experience of meeting the Beatles to her Tuesday Girls get-togethers, and offers tips on the art of the home. Sprinkled throughout are her thoughts on food and love, all highlighted by quotes and fresh, vivid watercolours. The recipes have a winning combination of snappy taste and healthy, low-fat ingredients, and contain complete nutritional information. This is Susan Branchs first large-format book since The Summer Book was published in 1995. The Susan Brach newsletter has more than 10,000 subscribers.

On Relationship

Jiddu Krishnamurti

On Relationship Jiddu Krishnamurti Amazon Price: $11.16
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 2 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

A refreshing, piercing look at the dynamic of relationships 5 out of 5 stars.
14 of 14 people found this review helpful.

This a great book for anyone who wants to take a look at the nature and dynamics of any relationship in a way that goes refreshingly, and piercingly beyond the tiresome slew of self-help books or long, PhD club diatribes on the subject. It is a truly mystical look at relationships -- it sometimes uncomfortably yet always enlighteningly shows what we do with them.

Editorial Review:

In 1950, Krishnamurti said: "If we are concerned with our own lives, if we understand our relationship with others, we will have created a new society; otherwise, we will but perpetuate the present chaotic mess and confusion."

Providing a far-reaching basis for solving many of the world's crises, On Relationship brings together Krishnamurti's most essential teachings on the individual's relationship to other people and institutions. The renowned teacher makes clear that the way we handle personal crises and relationships links us to the problems of all people and has a larger, global meaning. Ending the causes of war, for instance, cannot truly begin until we perform simple, but often ignored, tasks such as reconciling with estranged family members, keeping our homes in order, and respecting others.

Nonverbal Communication in Human Interaction

Mark L. Knapp, Judith A. Hall

Nonverbal Communication in Human Interaction Mark L. Knapp, Judith A. Hall List Price: $53.95
By: Harcourt College Pub
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 6 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

If you're going to buy one book on Non-Verbal Communication... 5 out of 5 stars.
8 of 8 people found this review helpful.

I've recently become fascinated with the subject of non-verbal communication -- both as a scientific/psychological/anthropological discipline, and as a way to improve real life communication skills -- and I can honestly say whether your interest in 'body language' is scientific or practical, buy this book. I've bought many, many books on the subject and even purchased a home-study course on body language, and in my opinion this is the most comprehensive single volume on non-verbal communication available. The knowledge within this book is easy to practically apply and scientifically sound.

Other great books on the subject include:
Fundamentals of Non-Verbal Behavior (Ed. Feldman and Rime)
Unmasking the Face (Paul Ekman -- featured in 'Nonverbal Communication in Human Interaction)
The Hidden Dimension (Hall)
The Silent Language (Hall)

The application of reading body language in photographs found in Kevin Hogan's Body Language course ([...]) is really valuable as well, and his practical suggestions for improving one's own communication are a smart distillation of what could easily have become a cumbersome amount of information in this area, but for detailed and thorough scientific work in the study and application of Body Language, start with Mark Knapp! Highly Recommended!!!

Editorial Review:

This introductory text is designed for courses in nonverbal communication. Using the cross disciplinary approaches of speech and social psychology, Knapp and Hall center on how nonverbal communication research affects a wide variety of academic interests. It is the most comprehensive, most readable compendium of research and theory on nonverbal communication available. It is the standard reference in this area.

We Can Get Along: A Child's Book of Choices

Lauren Murphy Payne

We Can Get Along: A Child's Book of Choices Lauren Murphy Payne Amazon Price: $9.95
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 4 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

reinforces that children can make good choices on their own 4 out of 5 stars.
24 of 24 people found this review helpful.

The general message of the book is great. Different emotions that can occur when dealing with different people are expressed. The text then talks about how we feel about our own emotions and then how we have the choice as to how to react to our emotions and then how we then communicate back to the people who have done us wrong. The text is great, the messages are wonderful, and there is a lot to talk about, such as "I am in charge of my words and actions...they belong to me". What is mentioned is in general, getting along, feeling good when things go well, fighting, arguing, yelling, hitting, crying, taking turns, sharing, solving problems, and treating others well. More themes covered are name calling, physically hurting others, bullying, how friends should act with one another, and despite physical appearance differences, we are all the same inside with the same emotions and are deserving of respect from one another.

The thing I don't like about this book is that it is written in the first-person narrative but the book does not have a main character so it doesn't quite make sense when being read aloud. The sentences have statements such as "I don't like mean words" and "But I can choose not to do that". There is no main character in the book, either mentioned in text or in illustration. Every page has different illustrations of all different children. The text makes more sense if the child is reading it to themselves. This really irks me! The storyline just doesn't make sense to me without using a main character of some kind or at least referencing them by having a main character on every page's illustration to show whom the author is talking about.

I also like how the illustrations have one theme per page. Every child's favorite subject is sure to be covered on one of the pages: dinosaurs, trains, princesses, firefighters, etc.

Lastly, my favorite thing about this book is that it is written intelligently with respect that young children have control over their actions and intentions and can choose to act responsibly. I salute the author for acknowledging that young children are capable individuals who can make good choices independently.

Editorial Review:

Simple words and inviting illustrations teach children how to get along with others and resolve conflicts peacefully.

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