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The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

Neil Strauss

The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists Neil Strauss Amazon Price: $24.01
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By: William Morrow
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 571 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

Are you just another AFC ("average frustrated chump") trying to meet an HB ("hot babe")? How would you like to "full-close" with a Penthouse Pet of the Year? The answers, my friend, are in Neil Strauss's entertaining book The Game. Strauss was a self-described chick repellant--complete with large, bumpy nose, small, beady eyes, glasses, balding head, and, worst of all, painful shyness around women. He felt like "half a man." That is, until a book editor asked him to investigate the community of pickup artists. Strauss's life was transformed. He spent two years bedding some fine chiquitas and studying with some of the North America's most suave gents--including the best of them all, the God of the pickup "community," a man named Mystery.

Mystery is an aspiring Toronto magician who charges $2,250 for a weekend pickup workshop. He is not much to look at: a cross between a vampire and a computer geek. But by using high-powered marketing techniques he's turned seduction into an effortless craft--even inventing his own vocabulary. His technique sounds like a car salesman's tip sheet: his main rule is FMAC--find, meet, attract, close. He employs the "three-second rule"--always approach a woman within three seconds of first seeing her in order to avoid getting shy. Other tricks: Intrigue a beautiful woman by pretending to be unaffected by her charm; also, never hit on a woman right away. Start with a disarming, innocent remark, like "Do you think magic spells work?" or "Oh my god, did you see those two girls fighting outside?" And finally, the most important characteristic of the pickup artist--smile.

After two years, Strauss ends up becoming almost as successful as Mystery, but he comes to an important realization. His techniques were actually off-putting to the woman he ended up falling in love with. And they never prepared him for actually having a relationship. After a while, he ran out of one-liners and had to have a real conversation. Still, The Game is a great read that may help some AFCs come out of their shells. --Alex Roslin

Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul

John Eldredge

Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul John Eldredge Amazon Price: $10.19
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By: Thomas Nelson
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Subjects -> Religion & Spirituality -> Christianity -> Christian Living -> Faith

Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 602 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

If Christian men are going to change from a pitiful, wimpy bunch of "really nice guys" to men who are made in the image of God, they must reexamine their preconceptions about who God is and recover their true "wild" hearts, writes bestselling author John Eldredge in Wild at Heart: Discovering a Life of Passion, Freedom, and Adventure. Eldredge throws down the gauntlet--men are bored; they fear risk, they refuse to pay attention to their deepest desires. He challenges Christian men to return to authentic masculinity without resorting to a "macho man" mentality. Men often seek validation in venues such as work, or in the conquest of women, Eldredge observes. He urges men to take time out and come to grips with the "secret longings" of their hearts. Although the book succeeds best in its slant toward a male audience, it also strives to help women understand the implications of authentic masculinity in their relationships with men. Eldredge frames the book around his outdoor experiences and appealing anecdotes about his family, sprinkling the text with touches of humor and overlying everything with heartfelt passion. Even as he mixes eclectic ideas about masculinity from popular movies such as Braveheart with classic words from Oswald Chambers, and lyrics from the Dixie Chicks with stories from the Bible, he points to only one answer for men searching for their true wildness of heart. Writes Eldredge, "The only way to live in this adventure ... with all its danger and unpredictability and immensely high stakes ... is in an ongoing, intimate relationship with God." --Cindy Crosby

Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads

Gary Greenberg, Jeannie Hayden

Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads Gary Greenberg, Jeannie Hayden Amazon Price: $11.20
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By: Simon & Schuster
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 83 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

Take your average guide for new mothers, chuck most of the stuff about breast feeding and ditch the deep background research and stats, then generously pepper with illustrations and burley humor and what do you have? Your average guide for new fathers. Be Prepared follows that template pretty closely, and that's really quite an acceptable thing. Yes, there's a bit too much emphasis here on broadly drawn manly stuff like changing a diaper at a ballgame, but there's also heaps of useful advice that's cleverly and efficiently presented for pops who, despite their best intentions, really aren't prepared to dig into encyclopedia-sized tomes. The basics (childproofing, bathing, feeding, entertaining) intermix with nifty sidebars (homemade bath toys, foods to never give your baby, exercises for dads) in easy-to-peruse chapters organized according to the age of the offspring up to age 1. There are more thorough how-to guides for new dads, but for most men moving into fatherhood, Be Prepared will fill the bill. --Steven Stolder

Men's Lives

Michael S. Kimmel, Michael A. Messner

Men's Lives Michael S. Kimmel, Michael A. Messner Amazon Price: $70.20
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By: Pearson/Allyn & Bacon
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 7 Average rating: 3.0 of 5

Which Men's Lives are they talking about? 1 out of 5 stars.
14 of 47 people found this review helpful.

Don't let the fact that this book is edited by two men fool you. This book treats white, heterosexual men as sadistic oppressors and is driven by a women's studies/feminist and sometimes Marxist agenda.

You can get the complete summary of the book from this quote contained in it: "Heterosexual men maintain their status by the oppression of gay men; middle-aged men can maintain their dominance over older and younger men; upper-class men can exploit working-class men,; and white men can enjoy priviledges at the expense of men of color."

(I am not sure here whether a middle aged gay man dominates a young heterosexual, but I digress...)

If you want to find a positive image of (non-gay) men it is not here.

Articles include (with a quote from each article):

Men on Rape , "Rape may be America's fastest growing violent crime; no one can be certain because it is not clear whether more rapes are being committed or reported." (uh, so therefore let's just assume it is true as a basis for the article...)

Getting Off on Feminism, "There has to be a difference between being straight and being a breeder. And breeding is just one of the many assumptions that our culture applies to male heterosexuality." (Written by a feminist male who is really much too worried about what all his feminist pals think of him)

Life Styles of Gay Husbands and Fathers, no quote. A balanced article about the experiences of males who figure out they're gay after being married and having children. This book has a very high gay to straight ratio in articles however that overstates the prevalence of homosexuality among men.

Fraternities and the College Rape Culture, "A rape culture is strengthened by rules that permit alcohol only at fraternity parties. Under this system, men control the parties and dominate the men as well as the women that attend." (This actually was an evenly balanced article that focused on how to structure organizations and events to reduce the potentiality of rape)

The Fathers' Rights Movement: Contradictions in Rhetoric and Practice, "Indeed, fathers want to play a role in their children's lives, but for most, that role is merely a continuation of their predivorce role of the traditional father who exercises his power and control." (the "but for most" helps the authors dismiss my anecdotal evidence of being a single parent. Note we can say "single mother" easily and understandably but "single father" requires explanation so we have to resort to "single parent".)

The grammatical errors in the quotes are from the book and are not typos.

Some articles use made up statistics, gross generalities, and outright distortions to make their point. Many of the articles are balanced in and of themselves but, taken as a whole collection in this book, present a distorted view of "Men's Lives."

Editorial Review:

This best-selling reader on men and masculinity, edited by two of the most prominent researchers on men, contains the most current articles on masculinity available. Organized around themes that define masculinity, this reader takes the position that men (as well as women) are "gendered" and that this gendering process is a central experience for men. The authors explore how working class men, men of color, gay men, older men, and younger men construct different versions of masculinity. One reviewer says, "This reader does a remarkable job of showing the interconnectedness of race, class, and gender ... It also makes clear that any discussion of `men's lives' of necessity involves an understanding of the social roles of both men and women, and of gender inequality." For anyone interested in gender studies, sociology, or men's studies.

Iron John: A Book About Men

Robert Bly

Iron John: A Book About Men Robert Bly Amazon Price: $10.20
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 83 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

The kind of men we need 5 out of 5 stars.
2 of 2 people found this review helpful.

One could argue a lot about the claims in this book. Does Robert over extend some of his claims about experience, myth, history, or any other number of premises and claims? To do that, however edifying it might seem at the time, is to miss the point of the work. Men are so lost that they don't even know that they are. Out of this, the world is just as lost. While women are finding their way (and Robert is excellent in respecting this) men-as-a-whole have lost theirs. Those that think they are preserving it are characturing manhood and those who think they transcend their gender are equally diservicing the world. Iron John is about identifying what makes a man manly in a way that is authentic to what the world needs of men and what we need from ourselves. One of the most important books on gender, ever, at a time that it is possibly need more than ever.

Editorial Review:

In this deeply learned book, poet and translator Robert Bly offers nothing less than a new vision of what it is to be a man.Bly's vision is based on his ongoing work with men and reflections on his own life. He addresses the devastating effects of remote fathers and mourns the disappearance of male initiation rites in our culture. Finding rich meaning in ancient stories and legends, Bly uses the Grimm fairy tale "Iron John," in which the narrator, or "Wild Man," guides a young man through eight stages of male growth, to remind us of archetypes long forgotten-images of vigorous masculinity, both protective and emotionally centered.Simultaneously poetic and down-to-earth, combining the grandeur of myth with the practical and often painful lessons of our own histories, Iron John is a rare work that will continue to guide and inspire men-and women-for years to come.

Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives

Laura Schlessinger

Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives Laura Schlessinger Amazon Price: $13.95
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By: Harper Paperbacks
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Subjects -> Health, Mind & Body -> Self-Help -> General

Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 39 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Finally, a book worth reading! 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

I have never really been into self-help books. After listening to Dr. Laura on the radio, this book was mentioned for guys just like me. There were a few places where I wasn't sure if she was being sarcastic or not, but that happens to me anyway. I was amazed to see how well she could see how guys really think, and to guide us in a perfect direction was brilliant! I only wish that I could have read this book 15 years ago. Maybe my life would have taken a different direction. I hope that more and more young people can read, understand, and apply the teachings that this book has to offer.

Editorial Review:

Everything will be okay ... once you admit that Dr. Laura's always right. This companion volume to the radio advice factory's 1994 bestseller (which tackled the stupid things women do) serves up plenty of the no-nonsense, old-fashioned morality that her legions of listeners love. Brutally reductive--but not necessarily wrong--this book chalks up men's problems to trying to save "damsels in distress," refusing to admit to a healthy dependence on others, climbing the career ladder to the detriment of your relationships, denying the duty and pleasure of child-rearing, and many others. Whatever your personal reaction to her brassy, unapologetic style, Dr. Schlessinger is a refreshing antidote to the wishy-washy "everything's relative and everyone's different" trend that held sway for a time. Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess up Their Lives contains a lot of good advice--even though it has as much in common with instant soup mix as with therapy.

The New Male Sexuality, Revised Edition

Bernie Zilbergeld

The New Male Sexuality, Revised Edition Bernie Zilbergeld Amazon Price: $11.56
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 15 Average rating: 3.5 of 5

EXCELLENT BOOK - BUT DR ZILBERGELD BADLY NEEDS TO DO AN UPDATE 4 out of 5 stars.
14 of 23 people found this review helpful.

I've just read The New Male Sexuality and I've got to say, I'm really impressed... It is so rare to find a self-help book FOR MEN (most of that genre is very female oriented) and Dr Zilbergeld is very male-positive...

I also liked how he discussed the socialization of little boys - how young males learn that they should supress their feelings - "boys don't cry" - and the doctor's theory that this is the cause of much misery for adult males...

I heartily agree with Zilbergeld's conclusions here...

I only have a few criticisms...

Dr Zilbergeld tends to have a sociobiological view of modern behavior - he tends to present cultural gender roles as if they are biologically determined... This tends to undermine his arguments about male socialization (and, due to the radical differences in gender behavior in different societies, this view is fundamentally incorrect)

Also, Dr Zilbergeld tends to assume that every male is in a long term monogomous relationship... This is far from true (hell, that's the reason that I brought this book in the first place) and it would be helpful if he focused more of his advice for guys like me who don't have a woman..

Finally, the biggest flaw...

Apparently, Zilbergeld originally wrote this book a long time ago (the copyright info says the first edition was published in 1992)... and it shows...

Women (especialy women my age and younger - I'm 38) have changed a whole hell of a lot...

When Zelbergeld did the surveys, apparently most women were still looking for love and didn't like sex for sex's sake, like men stereotypically do...

THIS IS NO LONGER THE CASE...

In my experience over the last decade or so, many women these days basically dislike men...

They need males because men, on average, make more money than women (but women have a higher cost of living) and, of course, most women want to have babies, and you can't do that without male DNA... other than cash and genetic material, they'd rather not be bothered with us...

Also, many modern women can be as crass, vulgar and unemotional about sex as only men used to be...

For instance, in the section on penis size, Dr Zilbergeld claims that "size doesn't matter" to most women and women are, supposedly, very understanding about males who are 'undersized'

I beg to differ...

In my experience, women are VERY much concerned about size... and you WILL get ridiculed if the woman you're with thinks you are inadequate in that department....

The same for performance issues - if you aren't up to the task, many women will get really mad and start insulting you (they might even accuse you of being gay)

Women aren't as nice as they used to be....

There probably wern't that many of these women out there when Dr Zilbergeld did his original surveys....

There most certainly are now (especially in places like Manhattan, where I live)...

It's not as simple as it used to be... and assuming that all women aspire to a deep emotional connection above all else can be a very dangerous thing to do...

Basically, I think that Dr Zilbergeld needs to do an updating of this otherwise excellent book (but with all new interviews of this new generation of women - who are VERY different than their mothers and grandmothers when it comes to sexuality)

Still, this is an excellent read and a must buy for men looking for serious relationship advice intended for a male audience...

Editorial Review:

The New Male Sexuality addresses the most urgent questions of men today--and of the women who love them.  Bernie Zilbergeld reports findings from his twenty years as a psychologist specializing in human sexuality, as well as those other experts in the field, and shares his own and his clients' experiences.  the result is the most comprehensive guide ever to enhancing desire and arousal, focusing on pleasure rather than performance, and keeping sex exciting and fulfilling.

Clear, comprehensive, witty, and refreshingly realistic, The New Male Sexuality is destined to be a classic of the nineties and beyond.


From the Paperback edition.

15 Minutes Alone with God for Men

Bob Barnes

15 Minutes Alone with God for Men Bob Barnes Amazon Price: $10.19
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 5 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

A book for all men 5 out of 5 stars.
10 of 11 people found this review helpful.

When teaching Bible studies on prayer, I have often looked for a tool to help those new to prayer answer the question of "Where do I begin"? This book is a wonderful starting point in that no matter what page you start on, you will always find an inspirational message and a place to begin your prayer time. I often find myself studying 3 or 4 sections at one time.

Editorial Review:

Updated and with a handsome new cover, this popular guide (170,000 copies sold) provides men with everything they need for daily spiritual refreshment and renewal. Like an older brother, Bob Barnes encourages men to develop their character as they enjoy intimate, life–changing encounters with God.

Each day’s offering includes a short Scripture reading (and a key verse to focus on throughout the day), a simple but thought–provoking devotion based on everyday life, a prayer, and action points that help guys apply what they read. These dynamic 15–minute devotions will inspire, challenge, and equip men to grow closer to God and more effectively love and lead the people God has placed in their lives.

A Well-Dressed Gentleman's Pocket Guide

Oscar Lenius

A Well-Dressed Gentleman's Pocket Guide Oscar Lenius Amazon Price: $11.53
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 4 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

History and now... 4 out of 5 stars.
16 of 16 people found this review helpful.

This book is extremely useful as you search information about what to wear...and know few about it. History, materials, are well described but I feel somewhat disappointed as I found no photos, and few counselling about how to match the different items, and when...except for the excellent formal wear chapters.
But after all, this is a pocket book, well-done and quite instructing!

Editorial Review:

While fashion is subject to seasonal change, the wardrobe of the man who dresses in classic style is marked by a distinctive continuity. A Well-Dressed Gentleman’s Pocket Guide is both an etiquette and a history of impeccable dressing and classic styling. It illustrates the fine distinctions of the gentleman’s dress code, arming the reader with the requisite information to dress for any occasion. It covers the entire wardrobe—from suits, coats, shirts, and shoes to umbrellas and underclothing—their history, manufacture, tailoring, materials, patterns, and colors. There are also summary style charts and warnings of classic faux pas. Any gentleman should consider himself incomplete without this elegant and authoritative pocket accessory.

The Metrosexual Guide to Style: A Handbook for the Modern Man

Michael Flocker

The Metrosexual Guide to Style: A Handbook for the Modern Man Michael Flocker Amazon Price: $11.01
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Total reviews: 30 Average rating: 3.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

The old-fashioned, repressed, un-moisturized man has been banished to the hinterlands and a new breed is taking center stage. He is a man of style, sophistication, and security, just as strong and confident as his predecessor, but far more diverse in his interests, his tastes, and, most importantly, his self-image. He may be seen at an NBA game one night and an art gallery opening the next. Able to navigate any social setting, he is informed, influential, intriguing, and very much in vogue these days. He is the new male ideal: the metrosexual man.So how can the average Joe keep up with this new version of cool? How should he behave, what shoes should he wear, and what CDs should he have in his collection? Answers to these questions and so many other pressing concerns can be found in The Metrosexual Guide to Style. Filled with entertaining anecdotes, famous quotes, helpful hints, dos and don'ts, recommendations and potential pitfalls, this handy guidebook covers everything from dining out to fashion and personal style, home décor to the Metro-mindset. It is the one-stop shop for the impeccably groomed and savvy modern man.

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