Ministry to the Sick & Bereaved Books

Finding Your Way After Your Spouse Dies

Marta Felber

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Subjects -> Health, Mind & Body -> Relationships -> Love & Loss
Subjects -> Nonfiction -> Social Sciences -> Sociology -> Marriage & Family

Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 16 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Helpful-a wonderful resource 5 out of 5 stars.
3 of 3 people found this review helpful.

After reading these reviews, I selected this book to give to my mother in the weeks after my father died. She said it was extremely comforting and helpful. She plans to use it as a resource in the coming months.

Excellent Approach for Grieving Spouse 5 out of 5 stars.
3 of 3 people found this review helpful.

Helpfully reminds us that our grieving process is as unique as we are unique as people. Provides a reassurange hat where we are and what we feel in this loss is acceptable and will continually change and return to the moment as the time goes on.

Finding Your Way After Your Spouse Dies 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

The thoughtful daily meditations full of gentle encouraging words are extremely helpful and uplifting as one meanders slowly through the grief process.

Very Pleased 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 1 people found this review helpful.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. It has helped me in a lot of ways.

Finding Your Way After Your Spouse Dies 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 2 people found this review helpful.

The book and the seller met my expectations.

Getting to the Other Side of Grief: Overcoming the Loss of a Spouse

Susan J., Zonnebelt-Smeenge, Robert C., De Vries

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 24 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

It's something no married person wants to imagine. Yet each year, eight hundred thousand individuals mourn the passing of a husband or wife.

Coming alongside the grieving spouse, psychologist Susan Zonnebelt-Smeenge and pastor/professor Robert De Vries provide much-needed support from a unique perspective--empathy. They each suffered the loss of their spouse at a relatively young age. Throughout Getting to the Other Side of Grief, the authors share their stories as living proof that if worked through properly, grief will lead the way to a fresh new life.

Beginning with the premise that a full resolution to grief is possible, the authors extend this lifeline to readers: Complete healing doesn't happen without intentional effort (time alone doesn't heal), and this intentional effort, for complete success, must combine Christian faith and sound mental health practices. In offering these interwoven disciplines, the authors give readers the benefit of both the male and female perspective.

Readers will find getting to the other side of grief less lonely and more promising in the empathetic company of these two authors. Those who assist grieving persons on their journeys--pastors, counselors, family members, friends--will find this a useful supplement to the support they offer.

The Joy in Loving: A Guide to Daily Living

Mother Teresa

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 7 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Alive and well 5 out of 5 stars.
34 of 34 people found this review helpful.

Open this book anywhere . . . and your heart is flooded with light. Or, does it affect others as it affects me, I wonder? Is this just a personal phenomenon? After all, I met her on two occasions. Perhaps that has something to do with it? On her last (unannounced) visit to this city, --- she offered me her hand, and looked me in the eye - and hasn't my memory played tricks on me, about that precious moment?

I was one person among 12, waiting on the street, outside her home for indigent men (the first one she established in North America). She emerged from that humble, two-story dwelling on Pritchard Avenue, in Winnipeg's poor north end: My two young sons were the last ones she greeted -- placing her hands on their heads and smiling with love - then, looking beyond them, for the obvious parent or guardian of these youngsters, she spotted me; and she offered me her hand. And I took it - I remember it was warm and her grip was surprisingly firm and . . . well . . . the taste of the air around her was unlike anything I can ever put in mere words. Yet, there are some odd things about my memory of that moment.

I distinctly remember thinking she was beautiful. But how can that be? In photos, she isn't physically attractive at all -- is she? Yet that is my memory of her in the flesh -- radiantly beautiful!

Another odd thing: I remember her as being my height - six feet -- as she looked me in the eye and smiled warmly. Yet in photographs, she looks closer to four foot nine. (Princess Diana towers over her in the last photo taken of the two women together, shortly before they died, within a few days of each other.)

So is it just me? - this feeling that Mother Teresa is addressing me personally each day in the pages of this book? Or does she speak directly to your heart too?

Let's take just three of her thoughts - the ones for yesterday, today and tomorrow. Let this be the test! If they don't speak to you personally, don't buy this book! But if they do resonate within your being . . . then you may agree, this is the "best book of its kind."

----

27 January

The very fact that God has placed a certain soul in our way is a sign that God wants us to do something for him or her. It is not chance; it has been planned by God. We are bound by conscience to help him or her.

28 January

We have small `listening groups' of co-workers who go to the homes of old people and sit down with them and let them talk. Very old people love to have someone listen to them and let them talk, even if they have to tell the story of 30 years ago. To listen, when nobody else wants to listen, is a very beautiful thing.

29 January

It is easy to smile at people outside your own home. It is so easy to take care of the people you don't know well. It is difficult to be thoughtful and kind, and to smile and be loving to your own in the house day after day, especially when we are tired and in a bad temper or bad mood. We all have these moments and that is the time that Christ comes to us in a distressing disguise.

Editorial Review:

The authors, who worked closely with Mother Teresa during her lifetime, have drawn together stories and prayers inspired by the missionary, who worked tirelessly on behalf of India's poor with her sisters of charity. Each day of the year is assigned a brief story or blessing: A child goes without sugar so Mother Teresa may have it; a truckload of bread miraculously arrives for starving Indians when the rice has run out. Many of the passages are quotes from Mother Teresa herself, and all of them challenge the reader to live up to her saintly view of humanity and suffering. If the day-by-day approach doesn't fit, there's an easy-to-browse index, organized by theme ("cheerfulness," "humility," "suffering"). Her standards are high, however, and normal sinners may find her words more challenging than uplifting.

Life Is a Gift: Inspiration from the Soon Departed

Bob Fisher, Judy Fisher

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Subjects -> Religion & Spirituality -> Christianity -> Christian Living -> General

Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 6 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Touching 5 out of 5 stars.
3 of 3 people found this review helpful.

Life is a Gift is a collection of thoughts from over 100 diverse terminal patients who were on the verge of death. If the reader will carefully examine the testimonies of these people, there is much to be learned about life...and how to get the most out of it. Read this book. You will be glad you did.

Editorial Review:

In candid interviews, terminal patients in the Alive Hospice program talked with authors Bob and Judy Fisher, addressing some of the most important questions we ask about our life and how we've made the journey. These end-of-life ponderings are collected into inspirational and provoking thoughts that will encourage each of us to live life fully. Each story is reflected in thematic chapters-priorities, family, simple pleasures, romance, integrity, regret, forgiveness-crafted into a series of "lessons learned," offering motivation to approach life with more vigor. These powerful stories deliver the clear message that if you wait to really live until you know you are going to die, you risk missing much of the joy life has to offer and the chance to leave a positive legacy.

Sacred Dying: Creating Rituals for Embracing the End of Life

Megory Anderson, Thomas Moore

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 10 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

At some point in our lives, many of us will find ourselves sitting at the bedside of a dying loved one. Thanks to Megory Anderson's Sacred Dying, we now have one of the most important and eloquent books available on tending to the dying. Anderson offers readers rituals and interactions to soothe and support a dying person as he or she crosses over into death. Even in situations where there is a specific religious ritual at hand--such as summoning a priest for the last sacrament--there are still many hours (and even days) that can be used to make a dying person feel spiritually and physically comforted and prepared.

As the founder of the Sacred Dying Foundation in San Francisco, Anderson provides real-life examples and strong storytelling to cover all aspects of dying, including how to help someone let go of "unfinished business" and how to massage a dying person to help them let go of their body. Anderson lists the tools for rituals (such as holy water, incense, and markers and paper for writing final thoughts). She even devotes an entire chapter to music--a powerful tool in healing and transcendence. Anderson offers a lovely book that covers everything you need to know to help a dying person feel deeply cared for, whether you choose to read poems aloud from the final chapters or simply sit in silence, holding the hand of a loved one. --Gail Hudson

Nobody's Child Anymore: Grieving, Caring and Comforting When Parents Die

Barbara Bartocci

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 14 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Permission to grieve as I have needed to 5 out of 5 stars.
40 of 40 people found this review helpful.

My 88 year old dad died January 8, 2003. Although I was unable to look at his picture for a couple of months, I thought I was "handling it" just fine. Besides, although my mother was also suffering from dementia, she was obviously aware that Daddy was gone and I needed to concentrate on her. Then on May 7, 2003, Mama died - and I began to grieve. It was almost like losing them both the same day. I guess as long as my mother was still here, I still felt a connection to my dad as well. I never expected to hurt so badly. They were 88, in extremely poor health and had not been like the parents I had known for quite some time. But now they are gone.Even knowing this was coming and being 50 years old myself, I was still devastated. After I had finished everything with the memorial service and everyone had gone home, I began to realize how very bereft I was. I felt foolish having so much grief - after all, they were old and sick, better off now, etc., all of the usual platitudes. I have a strong religious faith and have no questions as to where they are now. I did not want them to continue suffering. And yet, I missed my mom and dad. I first read "The Orphaned Adult," which was extremely helpful and which I recommend. But I still seemed to be sadder than I thought I should be for a person losing parents later in life. I could no longer sleep through the night, if I got to sleep at all. I had thought about ordering this book for a while, but felt I was being too self indulgent. Finally I gave in and I am so thankful I did. Ms. Bartocci hit me "right where I lived." She put words to my sadness and gave me the permission to "still" feel sad. She describes grief as individual to each of us, which made me feel less of a "freak." As I said, I am not a "group help" person. This book, as another reviewer stated, was like having a group in my home. It has now been three months since my mother died. I still start to go to the phone to call her and I still cannot drive past the Alzheimer's unit where she and my daddy spent the last years of their amazing 67 year marriage. But, as Ms. Bartocci explained, I am having more "good days" than bad and am gradually able to talk about my parents without tearing up. Thank God for this book because her words encouraged me to allow myself to continue in my grief, gradually getting better, instead of making myself deny it,even to myself - which would probably have had dreadful consequences. I recommend this book with the highest recommendation and I want to thank the author for her kind heart and for being so open with her life so that she may help people like me.

Hope...the Best of Things

Joni Eareckson Tada

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Editorial Review:

One thing has saved her: the heaven-sent hope found only in Christ.

If hope is scarce in your life, this special booklet will draw you—toward a fresh perspective on suffering, true scriptural encouragement, and this beloved author’s hard-won insights about the goodness of God.

In her life’s journey Joni has learned to meet suffering on God’s terms. She has learned that joy is for real. And most of all, she has learned that hope is the best of things when we give it a chance. This book powerfully communicates all these truths from someone who has lived them, so that you can live them too, no matter what you’re going through.

How Could a Loving God?

Ken Ham

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Editorial Review:

One of the hardest questions in life, and a stumbling block for many, many people, the question of why people have to suffer, has haunted believers since the dawn of time. Many people struggle to reconcile an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving God with the world we see around us filled with death, disease, and disasters. An important new project from Answers in Genesis president Ken Ham now answers the all-consuming question asked by most people in the course of their lives, "Why?" Ham takes a revolutionary look at these painful topics and gives a profound, biblical answer. See how the war, murder, natural disasters, disease, and shattered relationships that have shaken the faith of millions can be reconciled with the Bible. Taken from Scripture and his own painful life experience, Ham shows why the Bible s answer does make sense and offers comfort in these painful times of loss or suffering.

Caring for Those in Crisis: Facing Ethical Dilemmas with Patients and Families

Kenneth P. Mottram

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 3 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

A Christian Distinctive for Facing Ethical Dilemmas 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

As a hospital chaplain Kenneth P. Mott ram, is faced with helping patients or their families face ethical questions during crisis situations, on a daily basis. "Caring for those in Crisis" is written to be a help pastors and church leaders to minister to those families.

New procedures in modern medicine and medical technology have created questions of medical ethics and resulting spiritual dilemmas for the Christian. These changes have often resulted in depersonalizing patient care. The role of the pastor takes on a new significance in counseling in these ethical areas. The book provides a model for making ethical decisions.

Mottram addresses issues such as organ transplants, living wills, and life support measures. Other issues such as self-determination, suicide, advance care planning and personal loss and grief are also considered in depth. Drawing from his own personal clinical experiences, Mottram uses actual stories of patients in crisis, the medical evaluation and recommendation, the response of the family, and the outcome of the decisions made.

I personally found the importance of patient advocacy to be particularly helpful in light of intervention on the part of the spiritual advocate.

"Caring for those in Crisis: Facing Ethical Dilemmas with Patients and Families" is an important, timely book. Pastors, counselors, and seminary students will benefit from Kenneth Mottram's insight and articulate presentation of principles for patient advocacy, and family counseling in light of health care evaluations in times of crisis.

Editorial Review:

In our world of medical innovation and an increasing average lifespan, medical and ethical questions are at the forefront of many Christians' minds. Pastors can find themselves in positions to give advice about these matters on many occasions, a situation in which they may not feel qualified. Caring for Those in Crisis is designed to give pastors a solid footing when asked for advice in critical medical decisions. It starts readers off on a path to formulate and define their own values based on biblical and historical instances of advocacy and ethics. It also offers a decision-making model for ethical dilemmas, discusses Christian distinctives that pertain to medical and death and dying decisions, and discusses frequently encountered ethical problems, like organ donation and life support. This extremely practical and detailed resource is one no pastor should be without.

What the Dying Teach Us: Lessons on Living

Samuel Lee Oliver

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 7 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

What the Dying Teach Us: Lessons on Living is a spiritual approach to health care that teaches the reader about values, hope, and faith through actual experiences of terminally ill persons. This unique approach to health care teaches the living how to deal with grief and the bereavement process through faith and prayer. Priests, pastors, chaplains, and psychotherapists will learn how to treat parishioners or patients with the values the dying leave behind, allowing part of their deceased loved one’s beliefs and teachings to guide them through the grieving process. In the end, you will also become aware of your spiritual self while helping others heal and renew their soul.

While What the Dying Teach Us concentrates on the values you can learn from the terminally ill, the author includes his own views on:

• how our tears manifest the depth into which our relationship with a deceased loved one travels
• how dimensions of reality lead us to appreciate the present
• experiencing events in life without judgment or comparison
• the role faith may play in health care as a healer of the terminally ill
• how the strength of prayer can drastically change lives
  
  What the Dying Teach Us celebrates the spirit loved ones leave behind and teaches you how to surrender into an eternal relationship with them. Furthermore, because of this experience, you will be able to find a new and deeper realization of your own existence. What the Dying Teach Us will help you spiritually connect with yourself as well as with deceased loved ones that continue to live on through faith.