Gerald R. Weeks, Mark Odell, Susanne Methven
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Subjects -> Health, Mind & Body -> Psychology & Counseling -> By Topic -> Marriage
Subjects -> Health, Mind & Body -> Psychology & Counseling -> Counseling -> Couples & Family Therapy
Subjects -> Health, Mind & Body -> Psychology & Counseling -> General
Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 4
Average rating: 5.0 of 5
A MUST HAVE FOR EVERY THERAPIST 5 out of 5 stars.
16 of 16 people found this review helpful.
I wish I had more time to write a detailed review. This is by far the best book I have ever read on couples therapy. I just came back to Amazon to purchase other books that Gerald Weeks has written. If they are as complete, pleasurable to read, in depth and useful as this one, I will be quite satisfied. This book would have been great to have a novice therapist but even now the writing articulates problems and solutions in such a clear helpful manner. I have hundreds upon hundreds of books on couples and family therapy and I could not put this one down. It was highlighted and weathered the night it received it. A real gem.
Book review 5 out of 5 stars.
5 of 5 people found this review helpful.
Each chapter addresses common mistakes made in the area that chapter covers and offers suggestions on how to avoid those mistakes. The authors include examples of counseling situations where mistakes were made or avoided to demonstrate what they are talking about. Mistakes may be philosophical/conceptual or applied. Philosophical or conceptual mistakes refer to incorrect assumptions. Applied mistakes refer to a poor use or no use of theory. Mistakes are often hard to recognize.
Mistakes can be made in any one of the following areas:
Structure
If there is no structure, the couple replays the dynamics of their interactions at home in the therapy session.
The therapist must demonstrate that he/she is on the side of the relationship, not the side of one individual.
Confidentiality
Therapists can choose models of confidentiality when seeing couples ranging from sharing everything from individual sessions with both spouses to sharing nothing from individual sessions with the other spouse. The authors recommend a model they call accountability with discretion, in which the therapist maintains information from individual sessions in confidence unless it is detrimental to the goals of the couple. In that case, the therapist asks the individual to share with his/her spouse. If the individual refuses, the therapist tells the couple that he/she is aware of information that makes it impossible to do couple therapy.
Neutrality
Partners often want the therapist to side with them against their partner, whom they see as more emotional, "sick," less articulate, etc. The therapist needs to maintain neutrality and must probe to know if the couple views the therapist as neutral.
Getting a full list of the clients' problems
Past and present must be held in balance.
Listening for a full range of problems
The therapist must be aware of indications of abuse, affairs, addictions, and severe pathology, as couples often try to hide such problems.
Completing the assessment before intervening
Intervening too quickly or too slowly is a problem. Therapists need to be aware of therapist issues that interfere with treatment, such as uncomfortable topics, blind spots, avoiding or minimizing issues, and lack of training.
Attending to the process
Therapists need to teach clients the process of resolving conflicts, as opposed to focusing only on content. Tone of voice, body language, and use of language ("I" vs. "you") are things that couples need to pay attention to. Process can be made explicit in the course of therapy.
Conflict
Conflict can be covert, overt, or a combination. The intensity of conflict may be high or low. The therapist must manage anger and conflict in the session.
Continuum of how couples perceive situations
Some couples can agree on most things, some couples have some disagreements, and some couples disagree on almost everything.
Reframing
A reframe is a statement designed to change the perception or emotional meaning that the client attaches to a behavior or event. Reframes often prepare the client for additional interventions.
Evaluating commitment
Commitment should be discussed when the couple raises the issue or when there are clues that one or both partners are thinking about leaving the relationship.
Spirituality
The therapist should not overlook or impose spirituality.
This book is a valuable resource to anyone who is practicing couples therapy. Of particular interest to me was the list of statements designed to foster closeness and statements designed to create distance, as these could be used as examples in working with clients. The section on dealing with conflict was also helpful, as the following steps for dealing with conflict were explained: normalize, recognizing individual roles, questioning the meaning each partner assigns to the other's behavior, and instilling hope that the couple can learn new ways of coping. Therapists also need to remember that symptoms serve some type of useful function. Reframing can change the focus of therapy from the individual to the couple. Therapists can learn from the mistakes of others by reading this book, as well as learning some things to watch for to know when they have made a mistake and what they should do about it.
Editorial Review:
The co-authors draw on over thirty years of experience to show young therapists how and how not to conduct psychotherapy. Each chapter begins with a vignette illustrating a common mistake, then describes the error in detail, explains why therapists make the mistake and offers tactics for avoiding it.
