Townsend, John Books

Boundaries Participant's GuideRevised: When To Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

Henry Cloud, John Townsend

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 243 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

book is perfect for anyone with boundry issues and even not 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

for those like me who think God left it up to me to do his work and for others who just don't know how to keep someone out of their space, this book is perfect. it was a life changer for me. now i just remind myself "boundries" and know that God didn't leave me in charge down here, that he is in charge and working on al situations. it let me know that i am interfering with his work. i can now sleep at night knowing that he is in charge and that it's not up to me to fix up everyones lives

Editorial Review:

In order to call themselves good Christians, many people have drawn overly flexible boundaries (unwilling to say no, always accommodating others' needs) or overly rigid boundaries (to the point of being righteous and judgmental). Psychologists and inspirational speakers Cloud and Townsend show readers how to set reasonable boundaries in order to follow the true path of Christianity. This book has become immensely popular, most likely because it makes personal boundaries easier to define and is filled with spiritual purpose. Some cautions: the format can be overly self-helpish for such a complex discussion and the authors at one point imply that judicious spankings may be an acceptable form of setting boundaries with children. However, many Christians will probably find themselves grateful for this biblical context of boundaries. --Gail Hudson

The Mom Factor

John Townsend, Henry Cloud, John Sims Townsend

Amazon Price: $10.39 List Price: $12.99 Usually ships in 24 hours By: Zondervan Amazon Marketplace: 55 new & used starting at $5.87

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Subjects -> Parenting & Families -> Family Relationships -> Motherhood
Subjects -> Parenting & Families -> Family Relationships -> Parent & Adult Child
Subjects -> Parenting & Families -> Family Relationships -> General

Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 14 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

This Book Will Change Your Life! 5 out of 5 stars.
7 of 7 people found this review helpful.

For so long I've mostly heard about how important a father is in a child's development. I've never heard anyone else speak about how profound the mother's role is in the child's devlopment like this book does. I feel like I've gone to the eye doctor and have been given new glasses to see more clearly with. I think this book is core reading for anybody who wants to understand why they are the way they are. Like the back cover of the book says, "She shaped you in ways that would surprise you both."

Its alright 2 out of 5 stars.
6 of 7 people found this review helpful.

I think this book will be great for some people, but it really didn't help me all that much. The different mothers hardly applied to my situation with my own mother. The controlling chapter fit a little bit, but all it talked about was "learning to say no" and finding your identity. I was the one who rebelled, and I held onto my identity very well. The mothers in this book were much more loving than mine was. It would have been nice if they talked about mothers who were verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive. Where's the "Bi-Polar Mom" in this book?? From a real young age (around 7) I teamed up with God determined to turn out just fine. I even grew up setting my own boundries & parented myself (ex: I wouldn't allow myself to see PG13 movies until I was 13... my mom however could have cared less). I read this in attempt to understand why my mother does the things she does. I've tried to reconcile with my mother, but she refuses to have a relationship with me at all. My mother has resented me since childhood, and even now shes in an imaginary war with me. I'll probably give the book to one of my friends or sell it to half-price books.

Editorial Review:

Cloud and Townsend identify six types of moms and show how they profoundly affect our lives.

Loving People: How to Love and Be Loved

John Townsend

Amazon Price: $15.63 List Price: $22.99 Usually ships in 24 hours By: Thomas Nelson Amazon Marketplace: 68 new & used starting at $1.97

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 3 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Loving People 5 out of 5 stars.
13 of 14 people found this review helpful.

So often we find ourselves in the middle of stress and anxiety and wanting to run away from it all. There are two sides to being in that situation. We are either the ones trying to heal from wounds or we are the ones trying to help another heal from their wounds. Either side can bring on feelings that block the love and peace that is so important for us to feel and experience daily. Dr. John Townsend really shows in this book, Loving People, the need of healthy and deep connections with others in order to heal from pain in our own lives. If you've ever wanted to become emotionally healthy or to treat people better in your life, this book can help you get there. Townsend shows the importance of dealing with your own issues and gives great advice on how to do that. He then shows how to pass the love on. I believe so many people think they know how to love one another but fall short because of not truly connecting with others and taking time to understand someone else. This often is because they are still in a circle of pain themselves. Dr. John Townsend lays out the foundation you need in order to stop running from issues in your life, deal with pain in a very healthy manner, and then experience the gratification of passing that love on. This book is an excellent resource in learning 'How to Love & Be Loved' so you can start 'Loving People'. This is a great book!

Editorial Review:

Your personal guide to learning how to love.

When you say or hear the words "I love you" it can change your life forever.   Love is one of God's most important gifts to anyone, yet there are many misunderstandings about how to make love work in our families, friendships, marriages and dating relationships. In Loving People, best-selling author Dr. John Townsend shows you that love can actually be learned, and gives you the steps and tools to become skilled in love.

Using his trademark stories and illustrations to flesh out the important principles, Dr. Townsend covers:

receiving love

connecting love

healing love

confronting love

romantic love

surrendering love

Through his teaching, readers will discover - and start enjoying - the words, actions, and experiences of authentic love.

12 "Christian" Beliefs That Can Drive You Crazy

Henry Cloud, John Townsend

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 14 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Great for new Christians 5 out of 5 stars.
8 of 15 people found this review helpful.

This is probably the best book for new Christians there is (besides the Bible). It an easy read and makes so much sense. Everybody need a copy of this book.

Easy read, very good. 4 out of 5 stars.
6 of 12 people found this review helpful.

I read through this book quickly. It is very well written and up lifting. I passed it on to others since I felt I was freed from some of the Craziness myself.

A MUST READ! 5 out of 5 stars.
2 of 4 people found this review helpful.

This is fantastic. I owed this to myself to read it. some of you seem holier than thou in your reviews because it is stuff you "already" knew....that's a shame because most people need to know that it is okay to not only be human, but to be Christian and be a true human, full of inadequacies and undesirable feelings of anger, resentment, etc. Do yourself a favor and read this information because it really can release you from what you "should" do or expect of yourself. Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven!

A must read for all believers 5 out of 5 stars.
2 of 3 people found this review helpful.

How easy it is for Satan to subtly twist the truths we know and mix them with cultural beliefs - especially if we grow lax in our walk with the Lord. This book will get you thinking and really examining what you believe and whether or not it is actually Biblical. Great for believers who have been in the family of God for awhile and perhaps find themselves a bit frustrated with so-called "Christian" behavior (in themselves or others).

This may also be a great book to recommend to people who claim to be Christians but don't act like it; perhaps they have bought into a false belief and are just confused or hurt and don't know how to find the truth. This book helps to clear the air yet also points the reader back to the Bible.

Editorial Review:

This book helps people understand twelve common false assumptions about Christianity that cripple their faith.

Boundaries Face to Face: How to Have That Difficult Conversation You've Been Avoiding

Henry Cloud, John Townsend

List Price: $22.99 By: Zondervan Amazon Marketplace: 17 new & used starting at $6.50

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 5 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

A practical handbook on positive confrontation by the authors of the award-winning and best-selling Boundaries.

Successful people confront well. They know that setting healthy boundaries improves relationships. They have discovered that uncomfortable—even dangerous—situations can often be avoided or resolved through direct conversation. But most of us don’t know how to go about having difficult conversations. We see confrontation as scary or adversarial. We’re afraid to ask a boss for a raise or talk to a relative about a drinking problem, or even address a relational conflict with a spouse or someone we are dating.

In Boundaries Face to Face authors Cloud and Townsend take the principles from their best-selling book Boundaries and apply them to a variety of the most common difficult situations and relationships.

• Explains why confrontation is essential in all arenas of life
• Shows how healthy confrontation can improve relationships
• Presents the essentials of a good boundary-setting conversation
• Provides tips on how to prepare for the conversation
• Shows how to tell people what you want, how to stop bad behavior, and how to deal with counterattack
• Gives actual examples of conversations to have with your spouse, your date, your kids, your coworker, your boss, your parents, and more

From the Book

Sometimes people get confused in a confrontation because the other person gets them off track. If that happens, remember this formula.

Empathize with their feelings or position, and return to your issue.

Here’s an example.

Joe: “I can’t believe you were offended by my comments. You joke around more than anyone here. That’s pretty hypocritical.”

You: “I understand it’s hard for you to see, and I’m glad you meant it as a joke and weren’t trying to be hurtful. What I’m telling you, though, and what I don’t want you to miss, is how it affected me. It hurt me and I don’t want to be talked to like that.”

Secrets of Your Family Tree: Healing for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families

Henry Cloud, John Townsend, Dave Carder, Alice Brawand

Amazon Price: $11.55 List Price: $16.99 Usually ships in 24 hours By: Moody Publishers Amazon Marketplace: 30 new & used starting at $6.74

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 8 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Secrets of Your Family Tree 5 out of 5 stars.
31 of 31 people found this review helpful.

Secrets of Your Family Tree was worth every dime and more. A person could not possibly put a price on the invaluable information that this book provides its readers. Some especially good points in the book are: "Time does NOT 'heal all wounds' when it comes to family issues; If we have only experienced a family that keeps everything secret, that is how we will naturally conduct our own family." My favorite chapters are the first three since they go through the roots of dsyfunctional families and provide an in-your-face look at how they operate under different circumstances. Included are "questions for reflection" throughout the book and a helpful appendix of resources on "Where ACDFs Can Find Help." Lastly, one thing to keep in mind is that this book is Christian-based, and every page has a biblical reference. I highly recommend it for anyone who has a strong and serious desire to educate themselves and start or greatly influence the healing process.

Editorial Review:

This is a straightforward look at problems families face and their human consequences. It will help you understand the influences and interrelationships that can lead your family on a path of pain.

21 Days to a Great Marriage: A Grownup Approach to Couplehood

Henry Cloud, John Townsend

List Price: $12.99 By: Thomas Nelson Amazon Marketplace: 18 new & used starting at $3.66

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Subjects -> Health, Mind & Body -> Relationships -> Marriage
Subjects -> Nonfiction -> Social Sciences -> Sociology -> Marriage & Family
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 2 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

21 Days to a Great Marriage is a practical quick read that strengthens even the best of marriages 5 out of 5 stars.
2 of 2 people found this review helpful.

Even the best marriages can use a little brush up now and then. That's where 21 Days to a Great Marriage: A Grownup Approach to Couplehood, by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, comes in. This easy-to-read book offers a handy guide to touch up any areas of your relationship that you may have let slide --- even the smallest notch.

Cloud and Townsend cover all the basics of marriage --- even some of those we forget as the years go by. They challenge readers to grow not only in their relationship but also in their personal and spiritual lives. They open with a simple but profound quote:

"When I was single, I was unhappy and insecure. Then I married Ron and became married, unhappy and insecure."

The authors challenge the notion that happiness is the goal of marriage, suggesting that a much better goal is growth. One of the byproducts is happiness. They point out that the emotional and spiritual growth process that naturally happens in a marriage is God-given. Through marriage we discover where we are empty as well as where we are broken and how much we need God and others. In the process, we find contentment, maturation and healing. When the focus of our lives becomes growth, we can't help but find happiness.

Throughout the book, Cloud and Townsend steer readers away from unhealthy patterns such as co-dependence, selfishness and fighting to be right.

Now no marriage book would be complete without addressing the topic of sex. The authors challenge couples to take sex beyond the bedroom through healthy communication, exercise, honesty and support. They encourage couples to remove any unhealthy pressure of performance and set aside time to make love.

One of the most challenging and helpful chapters asks readers to deal with hurt as it happens in their relationship. Cloud and Townsend point out that great marriages are not the ones in which there is no pain, but rather those in which pain is accepted as part of the package. The result is that the couple consciously becomes better at processing pain and resolving conflict.

Designed for marriages of all lengths and depths, 21 Days to a Great Marriage is ideal for those in good marriages as well as those who are scrambling for answers in their relationship. The short chapters can be enjoyed in once-a-day portions over a three-week period, used during a romantic weekend away, or enjoyed during a group study over several months.

Each chapter ends with a section of "Think about It, Talk about It, Live It," which provides insightful questions for self-reflection as well as discussion. In addition, there's a "Great Marriage Commitment" closing to help readers identify a specific area of growth and prayer.

Whether you've been married for years or about to tie the knot, 21 Days to a Great Marriage is a practical quick read that strengthens even the best of marriages.

--- Reviewed by Margaret Feinberg

Editorial Review:

In a mad-dash world filled with long to-do lists and too many commitments, it's easy for one to lose perspective of what matters most-even with the most important person in one's life.  It gets even more complicated with all of the distractions that seem to keep our attention away from sources of help and renewal.  That's why Cloud & Townsend have teamed up to pack their very best relationship principles in a powerful 21-day program designed for today's busy couples.  Each short chapter has to-the-point wisdom and do-it-today action steps on issues like committing to personal growth, breaking the pattern of  trying to change one's spouse, building-and restoring-trust, cultivating healthy intimacy,  establishing realistic expectations, learning to handle conflict without damaging the relationship, and much more.

It's Not My Fault: The No-Excuse Plan for Overcoming Life's Obstacles

Henry Cloud, John Townsend

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 3 Average rating: 3.5 of 5

It's Not My Fault: The No-Excuse Plan for Overcoming Life's Obstades 3 out of 5 stars.
17 of 18 people found this review helpful.

I was a little hesitant about this book when I was first told about it. I mean really "It's Not My Fault" was not my motto in life, but a good friend had read it and shared that it would be good read for me. After reading just the first few chapters I realized that many of the things I blamed (not realizing I was blaming) on my childhood, teachers, even my pastors were things that I could change now for myself and stop this blaming game. I really think everyone should read this book, be it for yourself or to better understand those around you it is a win-win read.

Editorial Review:

What seems like just a common, no-harm-done excuse-"It's not my fault!"-is often a dangerous trap, say Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend, because people don't recognize what the blaming mindset does to them. It not only keeps them from overcoming the effects of all that they can't control-like other people, circumstances and genetics-but separates them from a solution. And when they give away the ownership of their life, they end up losing the one opportunity they have to fulfill their dreams and enjoy God's best.

Using eight principles, a variety of true stories and their years of experience as professional psychologists, Cloud and Townsend enlighten readers on how to make empowering choices-and how to build the life they want to live. It may seem impossible but it's true: taking personal responsibility is not only liberating, it is the best-and perhaps the only-way for a person to get what they really want out of life.

Self-Defense for Peaceable People: Defend Yourself Regardless of Size, Gender, Age, or Strength

John Townsend

Amazon Price: $11.53 List Price: $16.95 Usually ships in 24 hours By: Blue Snake Books Amazon Marketplace: 40 new & used starting at $5.13

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Subjects -> Sports -> Individual Sports -> Martial Arts -> General
Subjects -> Sports -> Individual Sports -> Martial Arts -> General AAS

Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 1 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Self-Defense Tools for All People 5 out of 5 stars.
13 of 16 people found this review helpful.

I have found that the concepts and tools is this book are easy techniques that anyone can learn. If you are determined to equip yourself with some basic self-defense moves then this book is for you. It is easy to read and understand with great photo's for the visual learner. This book is on my Christmas gift list for many of my loved ones. I would recommend it to anyone who is in search of self-defense reading and training.

Editorial Review:

Self-Defense for Peaceable People is an accessible, authoritative introduction to the art of unarmed self-defense. While compatible with all existing martial arts systems, the method requires no training or experience at all, and is especially suited to those who simply want a realistic command of basic self-defense. Drawing on a 20-year career in law enforcement and a lifelong practice of martial arts, John Townsend explains clearly and succinctly the philosophy and theory behind self-defense, and describes the types of attacks that can happen in different situations. Realistic photo sequences illustrate in detail the evasion and counterattack techniques that enable readers to defend themselves effectively in any real-world situation, regardless of size, gender, age, or strength. Armed only with these simple techniques, readers gain a new sense of freedom, personal confidence, and peace of mind.

ReGroup Participant's Guide: Training Groups to Be Groups

Henry Cloud, Bill Donahue, John Townsend

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 2 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

What a great resource for small groups! 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

This material is really unique and fills a void in training/equipping small groups to really function well. There is lots of material out there for small group leaders, but I believe the real key is to equip the group members. This material gets it done.

Basic Training for any small group. 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

We are just finishing this DVD driven study for small groups. We are a group functioning for about 2 years consistently and this study I believe is going to strengthen what we are doing and provide us with material to give to others doing small group ministry...it is a "basic text" for interpersonal engagement. There are two DVDs. The first has four lessons that are interactive as the team (Cloud, Donahue, Townsend) are acting as our coaches. The second DVD has shorts (10 minutes) to play at any group gathering to encourage and teach on subjects such as "How to Listen" and "What to do If Someone Talks Too Much". Can't say enough good.

Editorial Review:

In this revolutionary new curriculum, Henry Cloud, Bill Donahue, and John Townsend establish a whole new training paradigm—one that equips leaders and groups simultaneously and gives them everything they need to start and sustain a life-changing group. All it requires is a small group and a DVD player.