Conflict Management Books

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 174 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

A good companion piece for other empathic parenting books 4 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

This book follows the same vein of empathic parenting as Alfie Kohn's book Unconditional Parenting; Kids, Parents & Power Struggles (Kurcinka); and Kids Are Worth It! (Coloroso). The difference with this book is that it's less about theory and more about the practical application of those empathic principles. I haven't read Alfie Kohn's book but I've seen one of his lectures so I'm familiar with his ideas, and I understand the criticism that Kohn's work is light on examples. Sure, you may agree with him (or not), but how do you apply those ideas in real life when your child is defying you?

That's where "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen..." comes in. It provides all kinds of examples, some in comics form, to give you ideas for reacting constructively to various situations. The book is somewhat dated having been written almost 30 years ago, but it's still helpful stuff. You may not agree with every example, but you probably don't agree with everything you've read in other parenting books either. Take what works for you and discard what doesn't.

Of the other books I mentioned above, I recommend Kids, Parents & Power Struggles as the book to read before this one. Kids, Parents & Power Struggles will give you a good foundation for understanding empathic parenting without making you feel inadequate or guilty.

Editorial Review:

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk is an excellent communication tool kit based on a series of workshops developed by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. Faber and Mazlish (coauthors of Siblings Without Rivalry) provide a step-by-step approach to improving relationships in your house. The "Reminder" pages, helpful cartoon illustrations, and excellent exercises will improve your ability as a parent to talk and problem-solve with your children. The book can be used alone or in parenting groups, and the solid tools provided are appropriate for kids of all ages.

Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too

Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 68 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

With a title like this, it's no surprise that authors Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish had a monster bestseller on their hands when the book first appeared in 1988. From the subsequent deluge of readers' stories, questions, and issues, they have created nearly 50 pages of new material for this, the 10th anniversary edition. The central message remains the same, and sounds almost too simple: avoid comparisons. But parents know that's easier said than done. The value of Faber and Mazlish's discussions is precisely that they talk you through umpteen different situations and outcomes to help you teach your brawling offspring a new set of responses. The highly informative text is punctuated with helpful summary/reminder boxes and cartoons illustrating key points. It's a must-read for parents with (or planning on) multiple children. But parents of young children who get along fine (so far) should read it too--as the authors make very clear, rivalry is inevitable. The only question is how to manage the rivalry with intelligence and compassion, and on that subject they offer a wealth of good advice. --Richard Farr

The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 65 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Great Follow-up book to Leadership and Self-Deception 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

This book is a great follow-up to Leadership and Self Deception: Getting Out of the Box.

The book is actually a prequel to Leadership and Self-Deception, but I enjoyed reading The Anatomy of Peace second because it expanded on the back story of a book I already love.

The book expands the philosophy presented in Leadership and Self-Deception from a business and home focus to a much larger scale spanning nations and races.

A very enjoyable read. I highly recommend it.

Editorial Review:

Like Arbingers international bestseller Leadership and Self-Deception, The Anatomy of Peace helps us see how we actually cause the problems we think are caused by other people. Were trapped by preconceived ideas and self-justifying reactions that keep us from seeing the world clearly and dealing with it effectively. As a result, our efforts to make things better all too often make them worse. Through an intriguing story of parents who are struggling with their children and with problems that have come to consume their lives, we learn from once-bitter enemies the way to find peace whenever war is upon us. Yusuf al-Falah, an Arab, and Avi Rozen, a Jew, each lost his father at the hands of the others ethnic cousins. The Anatomy of Peace is the story of how they came together, how they help warring parents and children to come together, and how we too can find our way out of the struggles that weigh us down.

The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships

Gary Chapman, Jennifer Thomas

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Subjects -> Health, Mind & Body -> Psychology & Counseling -> By Topic -> Emotions

Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 16 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Book Bargains 5 out of 5 stars.
2 of 2 people found this review helpful.

Along the same lines of the other books by Gary Chapman, The Five Languages of Apology takes a relational issue and then helps the reader see if from different perspectives. For this book Chapman teamed up with psychologist Jennifer Thomas to discuss a persons "apology language" - that is what an individual believes represents a real apology. The authors stress needing to know the "language" of the person you are apologizing to in order for the apology to be effective.
This book really made me think. When I apologize for something I usually just want to get it over with as quick and painlessly as possible; I rarely think of the type of apology the offended party needs. Needless to say, my perspective is changed after reading this book.
I highly recommend this book. It will improve your relationships.

Editorial Review:

How many ways are there to say “I’m sorry?” Well, it

depends on your language of apology.

Just as you have a different love language, you also hear and

express the words and gestures of apology in a different language.

Best-selling author Gary Chapman has teamed with counselor

Jennifer Thomas to explore the different languages of apology and

reach a whole new audience with this easy to follow and quickly

applicable communication tool.

Nonviolent Communication Companion Workbook: A Practical Guide for Individual, Group or Classroom Study (Nonviolent Communication Guides)

Lucy Leu

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 8 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

Learning Nonviolent Communication (NVC) has often been equated with learning a whole new language. The NVC Companion Workbook helps you put these powerful, effective skills into practice with chapter-by-chapter study of Rosenberg's cornerstone text, NVC: A Language of Life. Create a safe, supportive group learning or practice environment that nurtures the needs of each participant. Find a wealth of activities, exercises and facilitator suggestions to refine and practice this powerful communication process. Whether you're learning on your own, in a group or in a classroom, this workbook will serve as an exceptional resource.

An exceptional resource for:
- Individuals: Includes useful activities and ideas for employing the liberating principles of NVC every day.
- Group Practice: Find guidance for getting started, group process, and activities.
- Teachers: Provides the basis for developing your own courses, or augmenting an existing curriculum.

Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane)

Gavin De Becker

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 111 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

Be warned: In many ways this is a terrifying book. It deals with a subject--violence against children--that most of us never want to consider. But, as Gavin de Becker stresses, such situations, though rare, can occur, so all parents must deal with the facts in order to protect their children properly. De Becker's aim is to create awareness of potential dangers and provide parents with the knowledge necessary for prevention and control. As he emphatically states in Protecting the Gift, much of this knowledge is already hard-wired in the form of intuition: "This natural ability is deep, brilliant, powerful. Nature's greatest accomplishment, the human brain, is stunningly efficient when its host is at risk, but when one's child is at risk, it moves to a whole new level, one we can justifiably call miraculous." The trick, he stresses, is trusting and acting on intuition.

In this valuable, even necessary, book, he shatters many myths about the typical profiles of regular offenders and the prevalence of such problems as sexual abuse and kidnapping. He also deconstructs the wisdom of traditional maxims such as "Never talk to strangers" and "If you are ever lost, go to a policeman." Without offering a compendium of every conceivable danger, he identifies warning signals and real risks that are often easy to spot once you know what to look for. He offers practical advice on recognizing signs of sexual abuse, choosing a baby sitter or nanny, how to prepare kids for walking to school alone, and how to teach children about potential risks without making them afraid to venture out of the house. And he continually stresses that denial and ignoring intuition are the biggest mistakes that parents make in protecting their kids from those that mean them harm. Well written and infinitely informative, Protecting the Gift affords parents more confidence and less reason for unnecessary worry. --Shawn Carkonen

Trapped in the Mirror

Elan Golomb

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Total reviews: 96 Average rating: 3.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

In this compelling book, Elan Golomb identifies the crux of the emotional and psychological problems of millions of adults. Simply put, the children of narcissist -- offspring of parents whose interest always towered above the most basic needs of their sons and daughters -- share a common belief: They believe they do not have the right to exist.

The difficulties experienced by adult children of narcissists can manifest themselves in many ways: for examples, physical self-loathing that takes form of overeating, anorexia, or bulimia; a self-destructive streak that causes poor job performance and rocky personal relationships; or a struggle with the self that is perpetuated in the adult's interaction with his or her own children. These dilemmas are both common and correctable, Dr. Golomb tells us.

With an empathic blend of scholarship and case studies, along with her own personal narrative of her fight for self, Dr. Golomb plumbs the depths of this problem, revealing its mysterious hold on the affairs of otherwise bright, aware, motivated, and worthy people. Trapped in the Mirror explores.

• the nature of the paralysis and lack of motivation so many adults feel
• stress and its role in exacerbating childhood wrongs
• why do many of our relationships seem to be "reruns" of the past
• how one's body image can be formed by faulty parenting
• how anger must be acknowledge to be overcome
• and, most important, how even the most traumatized self can be healed.

Rooted in a profoundly humanist traditional approach, and suffused with the benefit of the latest knowledge about intrafamily relationships, Trapped in the Mirror offers more than the average self-help book; it is truly the first self-heal book for millions.

Raising Children Compassionately: Parenting the Nonviolent Communication Way (Nonviolent Communication Guides)

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 5 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

Your search for parenting tips that actually improve your family dynamics is over. While other parenting resources offer communication models or discipline techniques, this powerful, practical booklet offers the unique skills and perspective of the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) process. NVC stresses the importance of putting compassionate connection first to create a mutually respectful, enriching family dynamic filled with clear, heartfelt communication. An exceptional resource for parents, parent educators, families and anyone else who works with children.

For over 40 years Dr. Marshall Rosenberg has taught NVC to parents, families, children and teachers. Parents around the world have used his advice to deepen family connections, move past conflicts and improve communication. His revolutionary approach helps parents motivate children to cooperate without either the threat of punishment or the promise of reward. Learn how to model compassionate communication in the home to help your children successfully resolve conflicts and express themselves clearly.

The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to High School--How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence

Barbara Coloroso

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Subjects -> Nonfiction -> Current Events -> Poverty -> Social Services & Welfare

Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 11 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

Practical solutions to a problem that may affect 80% of school children.

Drawing on her decades of work with troubled youth and her wide experience with conflict resolution and reconciliatory justice, bestselling parenting educator Barbara Coloroso offers a practical and compassionate book destined to become a groundbreaking guide to this escalating problem.

Coloroso helps readers recognize the characteristic triad of bullying: the bully who perpetrates the harm; the bullied who is the target (and who may become a bully); and the bystander––peers, siblings, or adults who don't act to defuse the situation. Readers learn:

o What bullying is and what it isn't; the three kinds of bullying; and the differences and similarities between boy and girl bullies

o How to read the subtle clues that a child is being bullied

o Seven steps to take if your child is a bully

o Four abilities that protect your child from succumbing to a bully

o Why zero tolerance policies can equal zero thinking

o Why contempt, not anger, drives bullying, and how to confront this in bullies.

o o Bullying is a widespread problem. In a 2001 study by the Kaiser Foundation in conjunction with Nickelodeon TV network and Children Now, 86% of children ages 12–15 interviewed said they get teased or bullied at school––making bullying more prevalent than smoking, alcohol, drugs, or sex among the same age group. Barbara Coloroso is an award wining author. Parenting Through Crisis and Kids Are Worth It! each won a Parent's Guide Award 2001 from Parent's Guide to Children's Media.

Hot Stuff to Help Kids Chill Out: The Anger Management Book

Jerry Wilde

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 15 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Hot Stuff is Hot Stuff 5 out of 5 stars.
21 of 21 people found this review helpful.

What a wonderful book. I read the reviews here before purchasing and my only reservation was with the "sarcastic" humor in the book. Actually, it is the humor that makes this book work. It was the bait that got my son hooked on the book.

I bought this for my 8 year-old son. He started to read it immediately. The book is a book and a workbook where you do some introspection. When he saw there were places to write down his responses, he ran and got a pencil. The first day he (we) spent nearly an hour reading and answering questions before we told him he needed to put it down and go to bed.

The book does a good job of validating the feelings that a child (actually all of us) has and gives great ways to deal with those responses. If you have ever encouraged your child to say "gooz fah bah" (from Anger Management the movie), then this is the book for you.

Editorial Review:

This book offers a unique approach to one of the most pressing problems of our time. Child psychologist, Dr. Jerry Wilde, speaks directly to children and adolescents in a language they can easily understand. Hot Stuff to Help Kids Chill Out is an empowering book designed to encourage today's youth to manage their anger rather than be controlled by it.