Essays Books

When You Are Engulfed in Flames

David Sedaris

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 221 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

"David Sedaris's ability to transform the mortification of everyday life into wildly entertaining art," (The Christian Science Monitor) is elevated to wilder and more entertaining heights than ever in this remarkable new book.
Trying to make coffee when the water is shut off, David considers using the water in a vase of flowers and his chain of associations takes him from the French countryside to a hilariously uncomfortable memory of buying drugs in a mobile home in rural North Carolina. In essay after essay, Sedaris proceeds from bizarre conundrums of daily life-having a lozenge fall from your mouth into the lap of a fellow passenger on a plane or armoring the windows with LP covers to protect the house from neurotic songbirds-to the most deeply resonant human truths. Culminating in a brilliant account of his venture to Tokyo in order to quit smoking, David Sedaris's sixth essay collection is a new masterpiece of comic writing from "a writer worth treasuring" (Seattle Times).

Praise for When You Are Engulfed in Flames:

"Older, wiser, smarter and meaner, Sedaris...defies the odds once again by delivering an intelligent take on the banalities of an absurd life." --Kirkus Reviews

This latest collection proves that not only does Sedaris still have it, but he's also getting better....Sedaris's best stuff will still--after all this time--move, surprise, and entertain." --Booklist

Table of Contents:

It's Catching
Keeping Up
The Understudy
This Old House
Buddy, Can You Spare a Tie?
Road Trips
What I Learned
That's Amore
The Monster Mash
In the Waiting Room
Solutions to Saturday's Puzzle
Adult Figures Charging Toward a Concrete Toadstool
Memento Mori
All the Beauty You Will Ever Need
Town and Country
Aerial
The Man in the Hut
Of Mice and Men
April in Paris
Crybaby
Old Faithful
The Smoking Section

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Chelsea Handler

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 203 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

THE EAGERLY AWAITED COLLECTION OF PERSONAL ESSAYS FROM THE BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF MY HORIZONTAL LIFE

When Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power -- vodka. You would too if you found out that your boyfriend was having an affair with a Peekapoo or if you had to pretend to be honeymooning with your father in order to upgrade to first class. Welcome to Chelsea's world -- a place where absurdity reigns supreme and a quick wit is the best line of defense.

In this hilarious, deliciously skewed collection, Chelsea mines her past for stories about her family, relationships, and career that are at once singular and ridiculous. Whether she's convincing her third-grade class that she has been tapped to play Goldie Hawn's daughter in the sequel to Private Benjamin, deciding to be more egalitarian by dating a redhead, or looking out for a foulmouthed, rum-swilling little person who looks just like her...only smaller, Chelsea has a knack for getting herself into the most outrageous situations. Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea showcases the candor and irresistible turns of phrase that have made her one of the freshest voices in comedy today.

Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip--Confessions of a Cynical Waiter

The Waiter

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 114 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Pointless Waiter Rant 2 out of 5 stars.
2 of 2 people found this review helpful.

The first thing I will say is that this book is aptly named. It is indeed a rant, and like many things in life, it probably felt much better for The Waiter to write than for us to read. The title had me gleefully anticipating some funny, entertaining behind-the-scenes stories and observations about waiting tables. There are some of those, but one has to wade through some awful rants which are as garrulous as they are obvious. Over the course of several pages, for example, he informs us that for a waiter to spend $300 on a bottle of booze when money is tight is not a very good idea. Well, golly! Thanks for that but I think I could have figured that out without the book. Also, his supposedly verbatim (they are in quotation marks after all), recollection of conversations have got to be totally fictionalized: I mean, read the astonishingly banal (and overly lengthy) conversation with Beth in chapter 5 and tell me: do people really talk like that? And there are a few real head-scratchers, like when he writes about the fact that gambling is generally a waste of money (another of the book's many "duh" moments), he repeatedly uses the term "one-armed bandit" to refer to the person gambling rather than to the slot machine itself. No editor caught that? Come on.

In fairness, I have heard that The Waiter's blog is much better than the book, and I have not yet checked it out. But I sure hope it is, because this book, with it's pretense of philosophical discourse, goes nowhere slowly. It tortures the reader with lengthy, boring stories with painfully obvious morals. Even though I was only looking for a light, entertaining summer read with some fun anecdotes, I was disappointed even in this modest hope. I do not recommend this book.

Editorial Review:

According to The Waiter, eighty percent of customers are nice people just looking for something to eat. The remaining twenty percent, however, are socially maladjusted psychopaths. Waiter Rant offers the server's unique point of view, replete with tales of customer stupidity, arrogant misbehavior, and unseen bits of human grace transpiring in the most unlikely places. Through outrageous stories, The Waiter reveals the secrets to getting good service, proper tipping etiquette, and how to keep him from spitting in your food. The Waiter also shares his ongoing struggle, at age thirty-eight, to figure out if he can finally leave the first job at which he's truly thrived.

Me Talk Pretty One Day

David Sedaris

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 728 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

David Sedaris became a star autobiographer on public radio, onstage in New York, and on bestseller lists, mostly on the strength of "SantaLand Diaries," a scathing, hilarious account of his stint as a Christmas elf at Macy's. (It's in two separate collections, both worth owning, Barrel Fever and the Christmas-themed Holidays on Ice.) Sedaris's caustic gift has not deserted him in his fourth book, which mines poignant comedy from his peculiar childhood in North Carolina, his bizarre career path, and his move with his lover to France. Though his anarchic inclination to digress is his glory, Sedaris does have a theme in these reminiscences: the inability of humans to communicate. The title is his rendition in transliterated English of how he and his fellow students of French in Paris mangle the Gallic language. In the essay "Jesus Shaves," he and his classmates from many nations try to convey the concept of Easter to a Moroccan Muslim. "It is a party for the little boy of God," says one. "Then he be die one day on two... morsels of... lumber," says another. Sedaris muses on the disputes between his Protestant mother and his father, a Greek Orthodox guy whose Easter fell on a different day. Other essays explicate his deep kinship with his eccentric mom and absurd alienation from his IBM-exec dad: "To me, the greatest mystery of science continues to be that a man could father six children who shared absolutely none of his interests."

Every glimpse we get of Sedaris's family and acquaintances delivers laughs and insights. He thwarts his North Carolina speech therapist ("for whom the word pen had two syllables") by cleverly avoiding all words with s sounds, which reveal the lisp she sought to correct. His midget guitar teacher, Mister Mancini, is unaware that Sedaris doesn't share his obsession with breasts, and sings "Light My Fire" all wrong--"as if he were a Webelo scout demanding a match." As a remarkably unqualified teacher at the Art Institute of Chicago, Sedaris had his class watch soap operas and assign "guessays" on what would happen in the next day's episode.

It all adds up to the most distinctively skewed autobiography since Spalding Gray's Swimming to Cambodia. The only possible reason not to read this book is if you'd rather hear the author's intrinsically funny speaking voice narrating his story. In that case, get Me Talk Pretty One Day on audio. --Tim Appelo

I Am America (And So Can You!)

Stephen Colbert

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 426 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

Congratulations--just by looking at this webpage, you became 25% more patriotic.

From Stephen Colbert, the host of television's highest-rated punditry show The Colbert Report, comes the book to fill the other 23¿ hours of your day. I Am America (And So Can You!) contains all of the opinions that Stephen doesn't have time to shoehorn into his nightly broadcast.

Dictated directly into a microcassette recorder over a three-day weekend, this book contains Stephen's most deeply held knee-jerk beliefs on The American Family, Race, Religion, Sex, Sports, and many more topics, conveniently arranged in chapter form.

Always controversial and outspoken, Stephen addresses why Hollywood is destroying America by inches, why evolution is a fraud, and why the elderly should be harnessed to millstones.

You may not agree with everything Stephen says, but at the very least, you'll understand that your differing opinion is wrong.

I Am America (And So Can You!) showcases Stephen Colbert at his most eloquent and impassioned. He is an unrelenting fighter for the soul of America, and in this book he fights the good fight for the traditional values that have served this country so well for so long.

Please buy this book before you leave the store

I Was Told There'd Be Cake

Sloane Crosley

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 64 Average rating: 3.5 of 5

She is not David Sedaris! 1 out of 5 stars.
3 of 4 people found this review helpful.

Please stop saying Sloane Crosley's book is like David Sedaris' work! David Sedaris relies on minute observation and his daily encounters to create humor. Sloane Crosley's humor, by contrast, seems to be informed by Sex and the City, Lucky Magazine, Gap jeans, and that one commercial that makes you want to put an axe in the TV. People (caricatures?) like her are already plastered on the obnoxious sitcoms that litter the airwaves. Why read this book when you can just get the same thing through your TIVO?

Editorial Review:

Wry, hilarious, and profoundly genuine, this debut collection of literary essays is a celebration of fallibility and haplessness in all their glory. From despoiling an exhibit at the Natural History Museum to provoking the ire of her first boss to siccing the cops on her mysterious neighbor, Crosley can do no right despite the best of intentions-or perhaps because of them. Together, these essays create a startlingly funny and revealing portrait of a complex and utterly recognizable character that's aiming for the stars but hits the ceiling, and the inimitable city that has helped shape who she is. I Was Told There'd Be Cake introduces a strikingly original voice, chronicling the struggles and unexpected beauty of modern urban life.

Naked

David Sedaris

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 411 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Hilarious 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

This was my first Sedaris book and I loved it. Laugh-out-loud funny and a down to earth style. I'm not on my 3rd book from this author. Love him!

A WONDERFUL AUDIO BOOK 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

This book on audio download is wonderful because the stories are hilarious and insightful, and so very honest. It's amazing how David looks at the most serious of subjects through a lens of humor and it works!

The audio book is read by David Sedaris and that makes it much more personal and effective. I couldn't stop listening!

Editorial Review:

Hip radio comedy fans and theater folks who belong to the cult of Obie-winning playwright/performer David Sedaris must kill to get this book. These would be fans of the scaldingly snide Sedaris's hilariously described personal misadventures like The Santaland Diaries (a monologue about his work as an elf to a department store Santa) seen off-Broadway in 1997. In a series of similarly textured essays, Sedaris takes us along on his catastrophic detours through a nudist colony, a fruit-packing plant, his own childhood, and a dozen more of the world's little purgatories.

My Custom Van: And 50 Other Mind-Blowing Essays that Will Blow Your Mind All Over Your Face

Michael Ian Black

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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 110 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

Get ready for the read of your life. Never before has a single book combined awesome vans, unicorns, Billy Joel, and erotic fiction in such a potent combination. A writing tour de force? Perhaps. A reading experience that will sear itself into your consciousness like a red-hot branding iron? Without question.

Comedian and basic cable superstar Michael Ian Black unleashes the full fury of his astonishing intellect in this collection of short comic essays. My Custom Van is a no-holds-barred assault to the funny bone that will literally beat you into submission with hilarity*.

How did he do it? How did he create such a fine anthology? Answer: With love. Michael opened his heart and used the magical power of love to write more than fifty thought-provoking essays like, "Why I Used a Day-Glo Magic Marker to Color My Dick Yellow," and "An Open Letter to the Hair Stylist Who Somehow Convinced Me to Get a Perm When I Was in Sixth Grade."

Maybe you think love is not a substitute for "good writing skills" and "spell check." Bull pucky! When it comes to writing books, love is the most powerful word processor of all.

Sounds pretty great, right? And yet...something is still holding you back from paying the full purchase price of this book. What is it? Perhaps you secretly believe you do not deserve a book this good. Nonsense -- you deserve this book and so much more. In fact, if Michael could have written you all the stars in the sky, that's what he would have done. But he couldn't do that, due to his lack of knowledge in the area of astronomy. So he wrote this book instead.

And this flap copy.

Enjoy.

* Michael Ian Black is not responsible for any actual injuries caused by reading this book.

Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation

Lynne Truss

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Total reviews: 541 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

A bona fide publishing phenomenon, Lynne Truss’s now classic #1 New York Times bestseller Eats, Shoots & Leaves makes its paperback debut after selling over 3 million copies worldwide in hardcover.

We all know the basics of punctuation. Or do we? A look at most neighborhood signage tells a different story. Through sloppy usage and low standards on the Internet, in e-mail, and now text messages, we have made proper punctuation an endangered species.

In Eats, Shoots & Leaves, former editor Truss dares to say, in her delightfully urbane, witty, and very English way, that it is time to look at our commas and semicolons and see them as the wonderful and necessary things they are. This is a book for people who love punctuation and get upset when it is mishandled. From the invention of the question mark in the time of Charlemagne to George Orwell shunning the semicolon, this lively history makes a powerful case for the preservation of a system of printing conventions that is much too subtle to be mucked about with. BACKCOVER: Praise for Lynne Truss and Eats, Shoots & Leaves:

Eats, Shoots & Leaves “makes correct usage so cool that you have to admire Ms. Truss.”
—Janet Maslin, The New York Times

“Witty, smart, passionate.”
—Los Angeles Times Book Review, Best Books Of 2004: Nonfiction

“Who knew grammar could be so much fun?”
—Newsweek

“Witty and instructive. . . . Truss is an entertaining, well-read scold in a culture that could use more scolding.”
—USA Today “Truss is William Safire crossed with John Cleese’s Basil Fawlty.”
—Entertainment Weekly

“Lynne Truss has done the English-speaking world a huge service.”
—The Christian Science Monitor

“This book changed my life in small, perfect ways like learning how to make better coffee or fold an omelet. It’s the perfect gift for anyone who cares about grammar and a gentle introduction for those who don’t care enough.”
—The Boston Sunday Globe

“Lynne Truss makes [punctuation] a joy to contemplate.”
—Elle

“If Lynne Truss were Roman Catholic I’d nominate her for sainthood.” —Frank McCourt, author of Angela’s Ashes

“Truss’s scholarship is impressive and never dry.”
—Edmund Morris, The New York Times Book Review

Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar . . .: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes

Thomas Cathcart, Daniel Klein

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Total reviews: 117 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Philosophy may be funny and it also may not be so funny at all 4 out of 5 stars.
1 of 2 people found this review helpful.

This is an amusing little trip through the various fields and schools of Philosophy. It is lightened with jokes and anecdotes, little stories and perceptions which are never too difficult, and never require much time to absorb. It is of course not for anyone who wishes to go into philosophical questions in depth but rather for those who would like to have a bit of fun in the world of ideas.

Editorial Review:

This New York Times bestseller is the hilarious philosophy course everyone wishes they’d had in school

Outrageously funny, Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar . . . has been a breakout bestseller ever since authors—and born vaudevillians—Thomas Cathcart and Daniel Klein did their schtick on NPR’s Weekend Edition. Lively, original, and powerfully informative, Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar . . . is a not-so-reverent crash course through the great philosophical thinkers and traditions, from Existentialism (What do Hegel and Bette Midler have in common?) to Logic (Sherlock Holmes never deduced anything). Philosophy 101 for those who like to take the heavy stuff lightly, this is a joy to read—and finally, it all makes sense!