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The Book of Poisonous Quotes

Colin Jarman

The Book of Poisonous Quotes Colin Jarman Amazon Price: $10.17
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By: McGraw-Hill
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 9 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Hilarious and sobering, intermittently 3 out of 5 stars.
14 of 16 people found this review helpful.

The verbal back-stabbing in this book is absolutely hilarious.
For example:

On Oliver Goldsmith-
"Poor fellow! He hardly knew an ass from a mule, nor a
turkey from a goose but when he saw it on the table."
--Richard Cumberland

On Whitman-
"Leaves of Grass-To call it poetry in any sense, would be mere abuse of language."
-William Allingham

"Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what you want to hear."

"The U.S. brags about its political system, but the president says one thing during the election, something else when he takes office, something else during midterm, and something else when he leaves."

"Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid."

"Elections are held to delude the populace into thinking they are participating in government."

Editorial Review:

A wickedly entertaining collection of caustic quips and witty criticisms.

Coyote Cowboy Poetry

Baxter Black

Coyote Cowboy Poetry Baxter Black Amazon Price: $19.77
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By: Coyote Cowboy Co
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 3 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Cowboy wit and wisdom at it's best. 5 out of 5 stars.
5 of 5 people found this review helpful.

Baxter Black's poetry and commentary on the ordinary life of cowboys, farmers, ranchers and rural vets is an entertaining look at a slice of disappearing American life. It is Americana at it's best. Baxter is a true original and a treasure.

Excellent collection of scenes from cowboy life! 5 out of 5 stars.
5 of 6 people found this review helpful.

Baxter Black proves himself to be one who truly understands the way of life of the american cowboy past and present. This collection is sure to intrigue country and city folk alike.

This is an excellent look into a cowboys life through poetry 5 out of 5 stars.
3 of 3 people found this review helpful.

This book is an excellent collection of poems and stories that give a unique insight into a cowboys life and rural ways.

Redneck Night Before Christmas (Night Before Christmas Series)

David Davis, Clement Clarke Moore

Redneck Night Before Christmas (Night Before Christmas Series) David Davis, Clement Clarke Moore Amazon Price: $10.85
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By: Pelican Publishing Company
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 3 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Very creative and amusing--adults & children will like it. 5 out of 5 stars.
9 of 10 people found this review helpful.

Amusing and very creative in content. Sure to hold attention. Very good for Christmas. Adults will appreciate the book as well as children. Very colorful! Worth the money!

Not appropriate for children! 2 out of 5 stars.
8 of 15 people found this review helpful.

I was hoping for something to read to a child. Instead I found Santa mixed up with the NRA and toting a Confederate flag. Adults may find this an amusing rendition of St. Nick's visit with clever illustrations - but I'd never read this to a child.

Full of Belly Laughs 5 out of 5 stars.
6 of 6 people found this review helpful.

If you or someone you know is a genuine redneck--then buy this book! Davis crammed his book full of great lingo, authentic redneck details, and hilarious parody. Just don't try to drink an RC cola while you read, or you'll end up laughing and spewing it all over the book. Take it from one who knows!

Editorial Review:

The "Christmas Redneck" travels to the trailer park in his beat-up pickup with eight hound dogs to deliver his presents!

Shark in the Park

Nick Sharratt

Shark in the Park Nick Sharratt Amazon Price: $7.42
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By: Corgi Childrens
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 8 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

SHARK IN THE PARK 3 out of 5 stars.
1 of 2 people found this review helpful.

AN OK BOOK. NOT ANYTHING I'D WANT TO HAVE TO READ OVER AND OVER.

Fun colors, happy drawings in a cute guessing game book. 3 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

This book is full of repetition and rhyming fun. Timothy is at the park testing out his new telescope and thinks he keeps seeing a shark. Three of the pages have holes through them so that one might guess what he is seeing before the next page is turned. It never truly is a shark that he sees in the park but this is a fun book to read with a child ages 2-6 to see their expressions, guesses to the telescope hole page and reaction to what it really is that Timothy is seeing. This story would be fun to use in a kindergarten class when shapes are being taught.

Fantastically Fun! 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

From the colorful front cover to the delightful ending, this is a wonderfully repetitive book that finishes with a delicious surprise. I've read this book innumerable times to patrons and guests of the Children's Museum of Denver and to Head Start classes throughout the Mile High City and it has never failed to charm my audiences. The book is artfully designed with full-color illustrations throughout and ingenious cut-out overlays that enhance the story. I enjoy any book that can be acted as much as read, and this book lends itself to over-the-top gestures. The clever refrain also encourages listeners to join in the narration and will leave them smiling at the end.

Editorial Review:

Timothy Pope has a brand new telescope and he's testing it out at the park. Children will delight in peeping through the die-cut holes and guessing what Tim has spotted. Is that really a shark he can see? Turn the page and find out.

It's Raining Pigs & Noodles

Jack Prelutsky

It's Raining Pigs & Noodles Jack Prelutsky Amazon Price: $12.23
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By: Greenwillow
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 7 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

Brace yourself for more pun-ishment from the playful Jack Prelutsky and illustrator James Stevenson, creators of The New Kid on the Block, Something Big Has Been Here, and A Pizza the Size of the Sun. More than 100 Prelutsky poems populate the pages--a mix of 8-year-old-boy humor, nonsense poetry in the tradition of Ogden Nash and Edward Lear, and clever, often unabashedly shameless, wordplay. While there are many, many doozies, our favorite is "Hiccup!," excerpted here:

I've tried gulping hiccup water,
stood upon my hiccup head,
held my breath until my hiccup
hiccup face turned hiccup red.

Chronic cogitators are celebrated in "Quibble Q. Quing" (who thinks about things), and wild imaginations in "Purple Orangutans:" ("Rabbits and parrots play tag in the stars, / marshmallows march in the meadows of Mars... / these are a few of the wonders I find / in the magic museum I keep in my mind.") Children find a kindred spirit in Prelutsky, a poet who knows full well that overweight underdogs and chocolate-covered salami and Sniffing Snutterwudds are always worth a giggle. Stevenson's understated (but always expressive) line drawings suit this silly collection to a T. (Perfect for reading aloud to younger readers, but wordsmiths ages 9 and older will pick up all the puns.) --Karin Snelson

When The Teacher Isn't Looking: And Other Funny School Poems

Kenn Nesbitt

When The Teacher Isn't Looking: And Other Funny School Poems Kenn Nesbitt Amazon Price: $8.95
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By: Meadowbrook
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 1 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

When the Teacher Isn't Looking and Other Funny School Poems 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

It is a great book. The kids love it.

Editorial Review:

Kenn Nesbitt's When Teacher Isn't Looking contains humorous poems about school, covering everything from homework and tests to school lunches and detention. Nesbitt, well known on the school visit circuit, has contributed poems to many Meadowbrook Press humorous poetry anthologies.

Mama's Got a Brand New (Diaper) Bag (Adult Mad Libs)

Roger and Stern, Leonard Price

Mama's Got a Brand New (Diaper) Bag (Adult Mad Libs) Roger and Stern, Leonard Price Amazon Price: $3.99
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 1 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Fun for a Baby Shower 4 out of 5 stars.
3 of 3 people found this review helpful.

This was something I bought on a whim just to have a look at it. I now use one of the Mad Libs in a childbirth class on postpartum, which usually gets everyone laughing and learning. It would also make for a fun baby shower game.

Editorial Review:

Mama's Got a Brand-New (Diaper) Bag

"Baby and Me" yoga classes, the hot new stroller, and scheduled deposits to the Ivy League college fund-all necessities for today's hip young mother. With a little help from the success of Desperate Housewives and the Britney baby-buzz, Adult Mad Libs hops on board the hot-mom bus to poke fun at all the advice books for young parents. Whether your child is in diapers or in high school, there is something in here for you, with laughout- loud advice from our very own "super nanny" and Dr. Spock-like characters.

The Verse by the Side of the Road : The Story of the Burma-Shave Signs and Jingles

Frank Rowsome Jr.

The Verse by the Side of the Road : The Story of the Burma-Shave Signs and Jingles Frank Rowsome Jr. Amazon Price: $11.20
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By: Plume
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 10 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Gift to Dad 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 2 people found this review helpful.

This was purchased as a gift for my Dad and he loves it.

Remembering old roads 4 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

A short and decently written account of the Burma Shave phenomenon that had me, as a child from the 1940's, searching along the northwestern two-lane road sides for those pithy and succinct phrases which always ended in "Burma Shave". They never failed to delight and I carried several sayings with me well into adulthood. This book brings back the delight and gives a nicely written history of what it was all about.

Wonderful book 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

This book brings back wonderful memories of my childhood travelling to Missouri to see my grandparents. Great to know these sayings have been preserved!

A fun book for us old-timers 5 out of 5 stars.
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.

We've had this book for a few years and I recently ordered another as a gift for a friend in our age group (seniors). I think this book includes ALL the Burma-Shave messages, including many which were rejected by the company, some of which are funny. Anyone over 60 will remember these ubiquitous signs all over the country; we always looked forward to reading them while riding with our folks! Younger readers with an interest in America's less-serious ("folk") culture will probably enjoy it, too.

Pottymouth: Profane Poetry, Recess Rhymes, and Other Dirty Ditties from the Playground

Anita F. Hart

Pottymouth: Profane Poetry, Recess Rhymes, and Other Dirty Ditties from the Playground Anita F. Hart Amazon Price: $9.95
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 1 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

“Miss Lucy had a steamboat,
The steamboat had a bell.
Miss Lucy went to Heaven,
The steamboat went to—
Hello, Operator, please give me number 9!”

“Smelt it, dealt it; denied it, supplied it.”

“Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made.”

Who doesn’t know “Milk, milk, lemonade...”? Every adult who ever rode a school bus, or sat on a jungle gym, has heard at least a few of these “classic” gems. The collection of verse in Pottymouth rides the nostalgic wave, covering everything from underwear poems to the ultimate taunts, silly songs to the basest bathroom humor.

Readers from any part of the country will recognize at least a few of these dirty little rhymes. But with the variety of material here, the reader is bound to learn a new one! (Resist the urge to skip rope!)

Broken into categories from the classics (“Miss Lucy”) to Anatomy, The Joy of Swearing, Toilet Talk, Underwear, Limericks, and Taunts, this volume is the perfect gift to remind someone of just how old they are!

The author confesses “I grew up on Nantucket with four older sisters and two foul-mouthed neighbors who showed me the ropes of swearing and mockery at an early age. My father, a head chef, would recite bawdy navy poems during slow periods and could string together expletives that might have shocked Gordon Ramsey when things went awry. A few years ago, my younger brother and I took our nephew out for his 13th birthday and were shocked to learn that he couldn’t swear or recite any dirty poems. We taught him a few choice poems and how to play liar’s poker. He’s now a lawyer and sport fishing captain and thanks us for his good start.”

Poetry for Cats: The Definitive Anthology of Distinguished Feline Verse

Henry Beard

Poetry for Cats: The Definitive Anthology of Distinguished Feline Verse Henry Beard List Price: $12.95
By: Villard
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 13 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

Even if you don't like cats--or poetry--you'll be tickled by the contents of Henry Beard's Poetry for Cats. Beard has already demonstrated his command of French in previous books, French for Cats and Advanced French for Exceptional Cats. Now he shows off his extraordinary skills as a parodist. Consider, for example, "Grendel's Dog," from "Beocat":

. . . Then boasted Beocat, noble battle-kitten,
Bane of barrow-bunnies, bold seeker of nest-booty:
. . . I would lay the whelpling low with lethal claw-blows;
Fur would fly and the foe would taste death-food . . .

Or, from a later period, William Blake's cat's poem, "The Mongrel":

Mongrel! Mongrel! Barking blight,
Bane upon my yard at night;
What infernal hand or eye,
Could frame thy vile anatomy?

Beard is obviously at home with poetry of many genres, from ancient odes to modern blank verse. These poems are fun even if you don't know the original sources; if you do, they are sublime.


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