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Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder

Paul T. Mason, Randi Kreger

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder Paul T. Mason, Randi Kreger Amazon Price: $11.53
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 166 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

These authors OBVIOUSLY do NOT live with anybody who has BPD 3 out of 5 stars.
3 of 5 people found this review helpful.

I would give this book five stars for research alone, but all of these books regarding Borderline Personality Disorder seem to be inter-plagiarized amongst themselves with the same research and facts and only a smattering of examples of adults who still suffer the consequences of growing up with a Borderline parent.It is both laughable AND nauseating to read how we should be "calm" while in the throes of being pummeled, beaten, slammed against walls, having our hair torn out, being shoved onto the floor and the relentless SCREAMING. I TRULY would like to see any of the authors of these books act in a "calm" fashion while being repeatedly smashed to bits on a daily basis. I am sorry to find out, 41 years too late, that my mother suffers from BPD; it took 41 years for me to become friends with a young woman who diagnosed my mother. After that, I frantically purchased this book and two others and the "coping" suggestions are completely ridiculous. The only thing/s the authors get correctly is that we are guilted into never leaving these horrible parents. In MY case, my mother has repeatedly threatened to kill me, jeopardized relationships with boyfriends, bosses and landlords, and screamed at me until I felt certain I would go deaf. Yes, I have remained calm, but having my head slammed repeatedly against walls, banisters and doors, as well as my integrity, emotions, feelings and reputation being equally pummeled by a nonstop barrage of insults, accusations and commentary has made me an extremely unhappy woman, and a very damaged one at that. I cannot even sleep due to my mother's abrupt appearances either at my home or place of work, if I hang up on her when she is insulting or screaming at me on the phone, she rages a personal vendetta about me to anybody who knows me and worst of all, is that when I was younger, I reported her insane behavior to my neighbors, doctors, school nurses, school chums, teachers and even the police and NOBODY DID A THING. 30 someodd years ago, there WERE no Social Service agencies in place to remove me from her dangerous dungeon and worst of all, if I had the audacity to complain about her relentless abuse, these people would question my mom, if they did anything, and this would make her so enraged, the beatings and screaming would escalate. My older brother only was her target for a few years and all he simply was doing was defending himself verbally. She kicked him out of the house at age 19 and ironically, as she has refused to work for 15 years now, I tried to help her by paying all her bills, ruining my credit twice, filing bankruptcy and never being paid back the nearly $50,000.00 I kept outlaying for all her ridiculous bills and debts. Whenever I complained, and justifiably so, that I had my own bills to pay, she bashed me so hard and screamed so loudly I truly prayed every single night I would go deaf, or simply die already. Yes, I also rented five apartments in my name after we were homeless and living in motels together, she refused to live in any of them; I even bought a house which she demanded I buy and refused to live there, so I immediately put it back on the market until it sold, I lost thousands of more dollars DUE TO buying that house, gave her back the profits when it sold, because of her repeated violence and threats to kill me (she'd given me money as a downpayment and never even told me she HAD any money and when I'd complained that she should have paid me back, I got bashed to bits), and her latest accusation is that I KEPT MONEY from the house when it sold, when it was absolutely not true. It is true that people with BPD come up with bizarre accusations, but what is most troubling of all is that these three books I have purchased TRULY did NOT touch base upon the fact that the violence is instant and savage and relentless in nature. They say violence "can occur", well, I have never seen anything the likes of what this horrid woman pulled on me my entire life and thank God I no longer live with her, but she still makes repeated threats against my pets, job, relationship with my boyfriend and I never know what this insane woman is going to pull next. She always is well-behaved around my brother, so I don't see how this can be a disorder when she can control her vicious rages, screaming and violence while in the presence of my brother, but the moment she sees me, she goes off on her un-ending screaming, insults, accusations and that painful hitting. I finally hit her back once, when I turned 30 and she practically murdered me from simply trying to defend myself. Yes, I have written letters to her doctors and positively all of them must be quacks, because NOBODY finds anything wrong with her. I have had horrendous Jewish guilt trips laid on me my entire life to keep taking this vicious woman's crap, abuse, insults, screaming, punching, hitting and hair pulling and she is crafty and manipulative enough to lie about me to everybody who knows me, thus these people question me relentlessly about how I can let my mother "suffer". This woman has her Social Security to live on, yet after supplying some 300 links to rentals from CraigsList, refuses to rent a place; instead, she either flies back and forth to my brother's home, or else she stays in motels for months at a time. She complains positively 24 hours per day and never has a kind word to say to me. So I say to the authors of these three books, you couldn't BEGIN TO KNOW what it is like to live with somebody who hates you so ferociously and thinks nothing of breaking your hands, giving you fat and bloody lips, black eyes, who tears out your hair, and slams you against walls, kicking, punching and screaming at you. Your suggestions are beyond ludicrous. You couldn't possibly have been put in the position of trying to placate these insane people, who REFUSE TO SEEK HELP!

Editorial Review:

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Coping When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder is a self-help guide that helps the family members and friends of individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) understand this self-destructive disorder and learn what they can do to cope with it and take care of themselves. It is designed to help them understand how the disorder affects their loved ones and recognize what they can do to get off the emotional roller coasters and take care of themselves.

Leadership and Self Deception: Getting Out of the Box

The Arbinger Institute

Leadership and Self Deception: Getting Out of the Box The Arbinger Institute Amazon Price: $10.85
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Subjects -> Business & Investing -> Management & Leadership -> Leadership

Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 206 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Read it. Then read it again. 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

If you're looking for something a little different in a book on leadership, then look no further than LEADERSHIP AND SELF-DECEPTION by The Arbinger Institute. This is different from other leadership books in that it reads in the form of a story (not a parable) about a man who has just landed a job with a company he has long coveted. He is about to learn exactly why the company, Zagram, has achieved such greatness.

Follow the journey of Tom Callum as he is introduced to the principles that have set Zagrum Company apart from the competition. You'll be introduced to the principles of self-deception, self-betrayal, and being in or out of "the box". The critical point the reader will learn here is that we all spend a great deal of time in the box and when we are in the box, we are not operating anywhere near where we should. Furthermore, being in the box effects not only our work, but all inter-personal relationships and interactions in life.

Not to worry, though. The authors won't leave you hanging. Tom later learns, as his training continues, how to step out of the box. Although he also learns that what he has learned, and what this story covers, is only the first phase of a three part plan. It is a little disappointing to not be introduced to the second and third parts of the Arbinger Institutes plan, but don't let that stop you from reading this book.

In fact, you probably won't just read this book and be done with it. I plan to re-read this immediately. It is simply too much to fully comprehend in one reading, at least it was for me. The story is entertaining. The lessons are well presented and logical. What you take away will be invaluable. I see many ways of implementing what I have learned here, not just in business situations, but in marriage coaching as well. These are principles that will affect all aspects of life and business.

Editorial Review:

The "disease" of self-deception (acting in ways contrary to what one knows is right) underlies all leadership problems in today's organizations, according to the premise of this work. However well intentioned they may be, leaders who deceive themselves always end up undermining their own performance.

This straightforward book explains how leaders can discover their own self-deceptions and learn how to escape destructive patterns. The authors demonstrate that breaking out of these patterns leads to improved teamwork, commitment, trust, communication, motivation, and leadership.

Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain

John J. Ratey

Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain John J. Ratey Amazon Price: $16.49
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 48 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

A groundbreaking and fascinating investigation into the transformative effects of exercise on the brain, from the bestselling author and renowned psychiatrist John J. Ratey, MD.



Did you know you can beat stress, lift your mood, fight memory loss, sharpen your intellect, and function better than ever simply by elevating your heart rate and breaking a sweat? The evidence is incontrovertible: Aerobic exercise physically remodels our brains for peak performance.


In SPARK, John J. Ratey, M.D., embarks upon a fascinating and entertaining journey through the mind-body connection, presenting startling research to prove that exercise is truly our best defense against everything from depression to ADD to addiction to aggression to menopause to Alzheimer's. Filled with amazing case studies (such as the revolutionary fitness program in Naperville, Illinois, which has put this school district of 19,000 kids first in the world of science test scores), SPARK is the first book to explore comprehensively the connection between exercise and the brain. It will change forever the way you think about your morning run---or, for that matter, simply the way you think

Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, & Distress Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)

Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood, Jeffrey Brantley

Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, & Distress Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood, Jeffrey Brantley Amazon Price: $14.93
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 27 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

A Clear and Effective Approach to Learning DBT Skills

First developed for treating borderline personality disorder, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) has proven effective as treatment for a range of other mental health problems, especially for those characterized by overwhelming emotions. Research shows that DBT can improve your ability to handle distress without losing control and acting destructively. In order to make use of these techniques, you need to build skills in four key areas--distress tolerance, mindfulness, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.

This book, a collaborative effort from three esteemed authors, offers straightforward, step-by-step exercises for learning these concepts and putting them to work for real and lasting change. Start by working on the introductory exercises and, after making progress, move on to the advanced-skills chapters. Whether you are a professional or a general reader, whether you use this book to support work done in therapy or as the basis for self-help, you'll benefit from this clear and practical guide to better managing your emotions.

The individual struggling with overwhelming emotions and DBT therapists will benefit significantly from this workbook. McKay, Wood and Brantley have expanded and translated DBT Skills, making Linehan's iconic work on emotional skill building even more accessible and easy to apply to everyday life.
--Kate Northcott, MA, MFT, is a DBT therapist in private practice with Mindfulness Therapy Associates and is director of New Perspectives Center for Counseling, a non-profit counseling center, in San Francisco, CA

Delivered from Distraction: Getting the Most out of Life with Attention Deficit Disorder

Edward M. Md Hallowell, John J. Md Ratey

Delivered from Distraction: Getting the Most out of Life with Attention Deficit Disorder Edward M. Md Hallowell, John J. Md Ratey Amazon Price: $10.20
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 71 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

In 1994, Driven to Distraction sparked a revolution in our understanding of attention deficit disorder. Widely recognized as the classic in the field, the book has sold more than a million copies. Now a second revolution is under way in the approach to ADD, and the news is great. Drug therapies, our understanding of the role of diet and exercise, even the way we define the disorder–all are changing radically. And doctors are realizing that millions of adults suffer from this condition, though the vast majority of them remain undiagnosed and untreated. In this new book, Drs. Edward M. Hallowell and John J. Ratey build on the breakthroughs of Driven to Distraction to offer a comprehensive and entirely up-to-date guide to living a successful life with ADD.

As Hallowell and Ratey point out, “attention deficit disorder” is a highly misleading description of an intriguing kind of mind. Original, charismatic, energetic, often brilliant, people with ADD have extraordinary talents and gifts embedded in their highly charged but easily distracted minds. Tailored expressly to ADD learning styles and attention spans, Delivered from Distraction provides accessible, engaging discussions of every aspect of the condition, from diagnosis to finding the proper treatment regime. Inside you’ll discover

• whether ADD runs in families
• new diagnostic procedures, tests, and evaluations
• the links between ADD and other conditions
• how people with ADD can free up their inner talents and strengths
• the new drugs and how they work, and why they’re not for everyone
• exciting advances in nonpharmaceutical therapies, including changes in diet, exercise, and lifestyle
• how to adapt the classic twelve-step program to treat ADD
• sexual problems associated with ADD and how to resolve them
• strategies for dealing with procrastination, clutter, and chronic forgetfulness

ADD is a trait, a way of living in the world. It only becomes a disorder when it impairs your life. Featuring gripping profiles of patients with ADD who have triumphed, Delivered from Distraction is a wise, loving guide to releasing the positive energy that all people with ADD hold inside. If you have ADD or care about someone who does, this is the book you must read.


From the Hardcover edition.

Bliss to You: Trixie's Guide to a Happy Life

Trixie Koontz, Dean Koontz

Bliss to You: Trixie's Guide to a Happy Life Trixie Koontz, Dean Koontz Amazon Price: $11.53
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Subjects -> Home & Garden -> Animal Care & Pets -> Dogs -> General
Subjects -> Home & Garden -> Animal Care & Pets -> Dogs -> General AAS

Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 10 Average rating: 5.0 of 5

A 5 Sausage rating to the good Dog 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

I hope Dean realizes that we're not crazed stalking nut jobs out here because we truly fell in love with Trixie. In the past years Trixie has grown from the dog in the photo on the dust jacket of his books to the dog in our hearts. He's said all the good things about her that we were maybe too unsure to say about our own animal companions. Dean loved Trixie and acclaimed her without embarrassment. We watched the gray hair around the muzzle grow more and more prevalent on each new publication but the videos on his web site showed that she was still silly and playful.

We read Trixie's blog and laughed at the sentiments of "Trixie Koontz, dog". I remember the day that her passing was announced and calls came in to work from all over the country from the group of us who'd professed our affection for her. We talked a little and laughed a lot and wrote checks to "Canine Companions" as Dean Koontz requested. I understand the proceeds from this book are being donated to this deserving organization.

Dean Koontz's web site now carries a blog from TOTOS "Trixie on the other side" and she continues to write from the Rainbow Bridge; she's still in our hearts and on the page. This books is similar to many of her other writings - down home good advice. The kind you got from grammy. You will also find some convoluted Trixie logic like her professing that dogs would be better drivers than Paris Hilton. She even admits her weaknesses like her profound dislike (not hatred) of cats.

This is a good book, written by a good dog who is loved by a very good man..Bliss to you, Dean and Bliss to you, too, Trixie.....bg

Editorial Review:

My goal is to someday be the person my dog thinks I am. --Anonymous

Bestselling author Dean Koontz says that his dog, Trixie, changed his life and made him a better, happier person. A 68-pound dog who lived close to the ground, Trixie certainly did cast a long shadow. She first became known outside of her own house (dog-house, that is) as a guest blogger on Dean's website, signing off every entry Life is Good, Bliss to You. Now, in this warm and funny book--as told to Dean Koontz--Trixie once again shares her inspiring outlook on life and reveals the eight steps that anyone can take to achieve not merely happiness, but bliss.

Packed with dog wisdom, both poignant and funny, this charming and heartfelt book gives the reader much food for thought--which might not be as tasty as a bowl of kibble but is nonetheless nourishing.

Bliss to You!

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex, Third Edition

Sari Locker

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex, Third Edition Sari Locker Amazon Price: $12.94
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 55 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Great guide 4 out of 5 stars.
2 of 3 people found this review helpful.

I have seen other books on this topic and found this one to contain better information. There is information in here that is good for beginners and those who have been going at it for years. I also recommend Sex and the Perfect Lover: Tao, Tantra, and the Kama Sutra

Editorial Review:

Most people know that there’s more to sex than the missionary position. But to make sex really hot, some people need a little guidance. That’s where acclaimed sex educator—and WCBS-TV relationship correspondent—Sari Locker steps in. The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Amazing Sex, Third Edition, has fresh advice on how readers can make smart sexual choices, cast aside inhibitions, and keep their sex life exciting well into their golden years. Readers get new and updated chapters on:

• Current sexual trends and attitudes

• Sex within marriage and long-term relationships

• Body image, obesity, and plastic surgery and their effect on sexuality

• Exciting techniques for reaching multiple orgasms for men and women

• Tips on specific sexual activities, including playful ideas on locations and toys

• Plus an 8-page full-color photographic insert of Sari’s eight original sexual positions

The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands

Laura Schlessinger

The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands Laura Schlessinger Amazon Price: $11.16
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 120 Average rating: 4.0 of 5

Editorial Review:

In her most provocative book yet, Dr. Laura urgently reminds women that to take proper care of their husbands is to ensure themselves the happiness and satisfaction they yearn for in marriage.

Women want to be in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Yet disrespect for men and disregard for the value, feelings, and needs of husbands has fast become the standard for male-female relations in America. Those two attitudes clash in unfortunate ways to create struggle and strife in what could be a beautiful relationship.

Countless women call Dr. Laura, unhappy in their marriages and seemingly at a loss to understand the incredible power they have over their men to create the kind of home life they yearn for. Now, in The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Dr. Laura shows you—with real-life examples and real-life solutions—how to wield that power to attain all the sexual pleasure, intimacy, love, joy, and peace you want in your life.

Dr. Laura's simple principles have changed the lives of millions. Now they can change yours.

Interpreter of Maladies

Jhumpa Lahiri

Interpreter of Maladies Jhumpa Lahiri Amazon Price: $19.67
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Subjects -> Literature & Fiction -> Short Stories -> United States
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 465 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

What a beautiful collection! 5 out of 5 stars.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.

First off, I can't believe that I have never read this before. Maybe because the Pulitzer Prize was won, I figured that the stories would be too difficult to read or understand. Even though I really loved only 5 of the stories, the other 4 were enjoyable, I just didn't like them as much as the former.

My favorities were: A Temporary Matter, about a young couple who happened to have electricity disconnected for one hour each day, to repair the lines after a snowstorm. The couple also seems to be disconnected, from each other, but this hour each night was the beginning to bring them together.

I also loved: When Mr. Pirzada Came to Dine about a man who had left his country and his family (a wife and seven daughters) so that he could make money to take care of them, and eventually go back. This couple with a young daughter were looking for Indian acquaintances to connect with. So, they took in Mr. Pirzada most nights for dinner and tv afterward. The story is told through the eyes of the young girl, where both had learned something. She, the meaning of love and family, and he, the meaning of the word, "thank you."

One of the best was Interpreter of Maladies, the title story, about a young Indian couple with children, who were very americanized. They visited India every few years to see their parents. Mr. Kapasi was their chaparone, driving them to the Sun Temple at Konarak. The couple appeared to be not at all engaged with their children, but mostly with themselves, viewed through the eyes of Mr. Kapasi. Mr Kapasi seemed enamored with Mrs. Das, and maybe he misunderstood her actions. It made me laugh, and feel sad at the same time, because it reminded me of some older men, and how they believe that they can win the affections of younger women, just because they were once good looking and virile.

Sexy was a good story with a touch of irony because Laxmi always talks to her co-worker Miranda about how her cousin was left by her husband for another woman. Meanwhile, Miranda is the other woman with another married man. It reminded me how affairs or even love affairs fall away without one or both of the parties keeping it alive.

Mrs. Sen's was enjoyable about an older woman married to a professor, who watched a young boy in her home. She didn't know how to drive, so whenever she needed to pick something up at the store, she would have to call her husband to pick them up, bring them to the store, drop them off, and go back to work. She was learning how to drive, but wasn't quite ready. I liked the way that you see how Mrs. Sen affected Eliot more than his own mom.

The Third and Final Continent, the last story in the collection was my favorite of all. It was about a man, who left India, to go to America, working in Boston. He moved into an older ladies house, who hardly moved from her piano bench and only ate soup, because she had stopped eating solids years ago, and she was 103 years old. She would always talk to the man, about how there is a flag on the moon, and she always asked him if he locked the door. Even with only these simple conversations, he always remembered Mrs. Croft, even after he left to move in with his wife. She had a great impact on him.

The stories and characters are not connected, except for the fact that the characters are Indian. I loved to read about the culture, what they would eat, and how they would run their homes. The writing is simple and beautiful where the writer would show, but not tell you what was going on. Each story had an element of sadness in it, and some laughs too, but the last story brought tears to my eyes. I loved seeing how Jhumpa Lahiri captured the interconnectedness of humans, across all boundries, and I hope to read her books again soon.

Editorial Review:

Winner of the Pulitzer Prize.

Navigating between the Indian traditions they've inherited and the baffling new world, the characters in Jhumpa Lahiri's elegant, touching stories seek love beyond the barriers of cultures and generations. In "A Temporary Matter," published in The New Yorker, a young Indian-American couple faces the heartbreak of a stillborn birth, while their Boston neighborhood copes with a nightly blackout. In the title story, an interpreter guides an American family through the India of their ancestors and hears an astonishing confession.

Lahiri writes with deft cultural insight reminiscent of Anita Desai and a nuanced depth that recalls Mavis Gallant.

The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book

Travis Bradberry, Jean Greaves

The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book Travis Bradberry, Jean Greaves Amazon Price: $16.49
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Customer Reviews:
Total reviews: 26 Average rating: 4.5 of 5

Editorial Review:

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: THE #1 PREDICTOR OF PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS AND PERSONAL EXCELLENCE

In today's fast-paced world of competitive workplaces and chaotic personal lives, each of us is searching for effective tools that can make our schedules, behaviors, and relationships more manageable. The Emotional Intelligence Quickbook shows us how understanding and utilizing emotional intelligence can be the key to exceeding our goals and achieving our fullest potential.

Authors Bradberry and Greaves use their years of experience as emotional intelligence researchers, consultants, and speakers to revitalize our current understanding of emotional intelligence. They have combined their latest research on emotional intelligence with a quick, easy-to-use format and cut-to-the-chase information to demonstrate how this other kind of "smart" helps us to decrease our stress, increase our productivity, understand our emotions as they happen, and interact positively with those around us.

The Emotional Intelligence Quickbook brings this concept to light in a way that has not been done before -- making EQ practical and easy to apply in every aspect of our daily lives. The Quickbook will help you to:

  • Engage the four unique areas of EQ: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management

  • Increase your EQ through the use of these skill-building techniques

  • Apply your EQ at work to develop leadership skills and improve teamwork, making you a better manager and a more desirable employee

  • Practice your EQ outside the office environment to benefit your relationships with loved ones, making you a better partner and parent

  • Access the link between your EQ and your physical well-being to improve your overall health

  • Measure your current EQ through access to the authors' bestselling online Emotional Intelligence Appraisal

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